locataire's poetified thoughts... by D.M.M 'locataire' (ebook reader library txt) 📕

am the "yes" where every "no"'s required
I am the soul where all you want is flesh and blood
Alive and kicking when all you are sick and tired
I am the Ark but there will never be a Flood.


G-d's final manifesto

I refuse to contribute
To this craze of live or die -
Planting new forbidden fruit,
In the streets where rose trees die

I refuse to stop your hand,
Slowly reaching for a gun,

Walking 'till horizons end,
Putting out each ray of Sun

I refuse
My hands allmighty,
Numb and tired, laying still
- wind the the clock but fail to start it,
Tightly clutching

My Last Will


1982

She looked at me
As though I were a madman
Needlessly clinging
To hope that matters not

She laughed - I found it
So hard to surrender
Censoring every single smile
Or wink.
Or thought.

She said it's faultless
And I don't need to wory -
She'll keep pretending
She cannot understand

But she won't hide
The fact she's feeling sorry
For the great fool
I've made out of myself.


***

I stand -
Every cell nauseated
With the sickly neon light

Someone in the mirror
Naked
Is it me?
- I can't decide.

I retreat
For fear of losing
Yet the victory
Is long gone

Now I see
My conscience moving

Down Humiliation Road.


***

Seduced by the smell of survival
That I bear - unmistakeably sweet,
You come -
I can sence your arrival
I can hear anxious steps of your feet
...

For many I will be the mother -
As there will be millions like you!
You mourn still the death of your brothers

Hesitate to accept what is true.
...

I'll teach you to hold your head high,
To build what their blind hands distroyed,
I'll teach all the love and the pride,
And the vengeance you have to avoid...


***

All we are –
Small, helpless atoms,
Flying round without a cause –

Feeling strong –
And feeling random,

Yet – we’re clever!
-
(Ah, of course!) …

All the wars that we declare,
Are indeed a fight for peace –
… There’s no need for greater words –
For humanity

Is this…


Temptation.

Fly the seagulls high above me,
In the golden sun's reflection
The hot air vibrates with colour,
Shaking with our shy affection.

I last in your arms, astonished,
Wonder why my heart's still beating,
While the moon, his eyes wide open,
Gives the Earth her sweetest greeting.

Shield the flame,
My G*d. My saviour.
Let me praise your might and mercy,
Let me love all your creations,
Let me touch them,
Let them -

Tempt me...


EROTICA I

I freeze, wound in your heatwave
Of sugarsweet destruction.
You take it as I give it,
Exchanging kiss for kiss.

Imagining I love you,
For just a second's fraction,
I drown in blissful danger,
Without a will to fight...


Alter Ego

You cannot be alone -
There's always me to follow

You cannot be alone -
There's always me to join.

And you cannot be thirsty -
There're always tears to swallow

And you cannot be empty -
There's always pain inside.

But come the darkest hour,
When fallen angels rise,
And I see your hand trembling
And reaching for a knife,
Don't count on me to save you,
Don't hope to keep your life -
Don't forget what I've told you

We both cannot...

Survive.


*** (A different kind of springtime)*

This wind, cruelly laughing
On empty windowpanes -
This wind of senseless lasting -
This wind should be
... Ashamed.

This rain that lingers, pointless
On yellow flowers of May -
This rain of loving passion -
This rain should be
... Ashamed.

Those birds on tree tops, singing
Songs never out of tune -
Those birds, so young and hopefull -
They sing their joy

... Too soon.

* In loving memory of those who died in the Miła 18

bunker, 8.05.1943.

Heroes forever.


***

He said time would come - so I waited.
He said we would last - so I stayed.
He said colors fade -
And they faded...

He could tell angel tears from the rain.

He said we were free - I believed him.
He said there was G*d, so I prayed...
I said if he went I would miss him -

I made but one promisse

And failed.


***

Oh, shan't you burn in hell's fire,
You, with your almond shaped eyes!
Your pure, rose scented desire -
I crave, but cannot
pay the price.

Oh, shan't my sharp sences rebel,
Tempted by your windswept smiles,
Skin soft
Touch painfully tender
And blisfully
lust coloured
blush...


***

I -
The homesick traveler, chased away
With stones and sticks.
I -
The builder of your land -
To build mine - I lack the bricks
I -
The coward you condemned -
Thus securing
Your own fears...
I -
Though hatered chokes your words
Bid you farewell

With tears...


Shabbat I. – Esther

On my mind
There’s no room for sacred questions.
In my heart
There’s too little space for G*d
And my feet
Lost the need to take directions,
From below, from above or from beyond.


Shabbat II. - Rachel

The candlelight shakes as I pray,
For a country I will never know.
For a country of beauty and fear,
In the unloving, strong arms of war.

The blessing I say for all those,
Who know what tomorrow will bring -
New wounds and new unwanted thoughts,


***

And if your blue eyes come drowning
In the dark black shade of grief,
Don't ask me to come here running -

Kill the Time - this shameless thief.

And if your small world comes trembling,
Choked by misty, foggy fears,
Don't expect me to keep waiting -

Hold your breath - and dry your tears.

And if one night you awaken,
Broken dreams all drenched with sweat,
Don't await to see me sitting
Somewhere near your dead - cold bed...
New fake hopes of unity and peace.
On my lips
There’s no trace of holly silence,
And my soul’s only made of flesh and blood
-
Here I am – sinful, reaching for perfection,
As the candles stand neglected

In the dark…


The City Tribute

I hear the old streets speaking
Loud dead tongues of the future,
The crossroads filled with questions,
Corners where both ends meet.

Forget the pavement cracks,
Filled with all - time rejection,

The passing but eternal
Weight of ignorant feet...
...
They ache and suffer silent -
Those milestones undercover,
While we, ungreatful beings,
Behold with thoughtless smiles -

But if it hadn't been
For dusty streets and railroads,
There would never be memory,
And there would be no us.


A girl with a matchbox

I am a little girl -
A matchbox in each hand,
I try to make a living
On ilusions of warmth.

Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and misleading,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end.

My mommy, she's long gone
Into the sunny distance
My daddy, he's gone to,
And he will not be back.

Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and insistant,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end.

My hands in hole - filled gloves,
They grow colder and colder,
From reaching out for help,
That I will never get.
Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and insistant,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end...


Phoenix

I
Reborn from the ashes
With a touch
Of your hand
In black suede.

I
Still broken
But doubtless
Rid of all
Dirty wants
Useless needs.

I
When tomorrow is over
Will go down
In sky high
Silver flames

I Will leave all
Time's gates open
And begin
My flight stronger
Again.


What I will never be

I know the well dressed heroines
Of all well written books -
With lips
In everlasting smiles,
They all have filmstar looks.

They never cry,
And they don't mind
How loud your shouting gets -
They live their ever - perfect lives,
And they have no regrets.

They all sleep with their make up on,
They know no tears,
No sweat,
And they collect
Men's broken hearts, they easily forget.

Good Lord, I whisper every night
Before I fall asleep -
Thank you I am not one of them -

Don't ever let me be!


A MOTHER'S PRAYER

*

Dear Lord,
Please bless my Children,
May their eyes be angel-blue
May their days not be hatestricken
May their minds avoid the truth.

May their hands be busy gathering
Sweet fruit of a different land

And,
My Lord,
Let them forget why
Motherhood
Could not withstand.

* dedicated to the Mothers who have sacrificed their lives in the dark times of the Shoah.


***

Never say you have gone your last way
- A new path will emerge soon enough,
Never say you have gotten your share
- There will still be more reasons to laugh,
Never say you are waiting for help,
When you know very well none will come,
Never cry, or admit that you're scared
- They will use it and tear you apart.


***

You turned me into an
Insomniac’s lullaby.

A book for mad and crazy
On how to be insane.

What use am I –
A mourner,
But one who’d never cry?

Why am I here -
Still changing,
But to remain the same?

You made me –
Self negation.

A shadow with no sun.
Self satisfying hunger.
A wound that lacks it’s pain.

You made me to neglect me,
But you and me are one.

And one day, I must tell you –
You will suffer the same.


EROTICA II

May that absent moment last
In the mirror of our dreams
May the secret fogs go down
Covering sweetly all our fears
May our hands reach satisfaction
In each other's dangerous warmth
May our souls - Forever factured?
Tear the ropes and be as one...


***

My happiness you judge
With bitter laughter snatches
My bravery you praise
With lucky runaways
My future you define
With "happily-ever-afters"
Surrounding me with low class
Deeply envious respect.
My leadership you follow
Knives pointed at my back
You trust the shallow stories
Unwanted people tell
But you should not forget that
These are my territories
So if you wish to stay here
Your hate you should