Inside My Head by Sydia Smith (best summer reads of all time txt) 📕

She said she would help me

The real question is do I want to know

Spent years dreaming about the day

When I would have that chance to say

Hello, I am your daughter

Yeah the daughter you never knew

Was it worth it

Do you even care about me

No don’t answer that

I already knew

The answer was so clear

Like driving in fog

Like running in snow

Like a three month old baby walking

But since we are here talking

Humor me

Am I the only one feeling this

Do you even know I exist

Please tell me why I was motherless

Not for three weeks

But for three years

Would everything be different

If you was in my life

This is what you left me with

A house in the county

With civil folks that surround me

Everything seems perfect

But the people I call my family

I was verbally abuse when I was a kid

I tried to take my life

So I wouldn’t have to live

So I wouldn’t have to live the life you have given me

There are people who love me

But there are also those people who get to me

The one I call mother wanted someone else

Long hair instead of short

She wanted another one of her kids

Someone who cooks and clean for the hell of it

Someone who doesn’t give her lip

Someone who said how high when she said jump

I wasn’t one of them

I prefer to do something to get something in return

The one who say something when things didn’t make any sense

The one who said why when she said jump

The one still to this day

Would like to say

Bye

Bye to the stupidity

Bye to the imperfect gene

Bye to the mother who said bye to me 18 years ago

Bye to the girl who still won’t let go

Hi, I am your daughter

Yeah the daughter you will never know

By: Sydia Smith

Synopsis: I was born 18 years ago. My mother left me in the hospital abandoned. No one came back and got me. I was two weeks when I was placed in foster care. Even though I am grateful for the life that I have I still wonder. I was adopted from my foster care mother’s sister when I was three. Growing up I tried to fit in but was told that I was never going to be like one of them earlier. I grew up with the sense of me myself and my brother. I did everything for myself. Didn’t care about anyone else but me and my brother. Growing up I knew that I was adopted. No one would let me forget. I always wanted to know what happen and why it did happen but I never got the answer. I don’t think I am ready for the answer. The poem is about my life and how I felt.