The Works of John Bunyan, vol 3 by John Bunyan (summer books .TXT) 📕

Badman.

CHAPTER VII.

[HE THROWS OFF THE MASK AND CRUELLY TREATS HIS WIFE.]

Now when he came home in this case, if his wife did but speak a work to him about where he had been and why he had so abused himself, though her words were spoken in never so much meekness and love, then she was whore, and bitch, and jade! and it was well if she missed his fingers and heels. Sometimes also he would bring his punks home to his house, and woe be to his wife when they were gone if she did not entertain them with all varieties possible, and also carry it lovingly to them. Thus this good woman was made by Badman, her husband, to possess nothing but disappointments as to all that he had promised her, or that she hoped to have at his hands.

But that that added pressing weight to all her sorrow was that, as he had cast away all religion himself, so he attempted, if possible, to make her do so too. He would not suffer her to go out to the preaching of the word of Christ, nor to the rest of his appointments, for the health and salvation of her soul. He would now taunt at and reflectingly speak of her preachers, and would receive, yea, raise scandals of them, to her very great grief and affliction.

Now she scarce durst go to an honest neighbour’s house, or have a good book in her hand, especially when he had his companions in his house, or had got a little drink in his head. He would also, when he perceived that she was dejected, speak tauntingly and mockingly to her in the presence of his companions, calling of her his religious wife, his demure dame, and the like, also he would make a sport of her among his wanton ones abroad.

If she did ask him, as sometimes she would, to let her go out to a sermon, he would in a churlish manner reply, Keep at home, keep at home and look to your business, we cannot live by hearing of sermons. If she still urged that he would let her go, then he would say to her, Go if you dare. He would also charged her with giving of what he had to her ministers, when, vile wretch, he had spent it on his vain companions before. This was the life that Mr.

Badman’s good wife lived, within few months after he had married her.

ATTEN. This was a disappointment indeed.

WISE. A disappointment indeed, as ever I think poor woman had.

One would think that the knave might a little let her have had her will since it was nothing but to be honest, and since she brought him so sweet, so lumping a portion—for she brought hundreds into his house—I say, one would think he should have let her had her own will a little, since she desired it only in the service and worship of God; but could she win him to grant her that? No, not a bit, if it would have saved her life. True, sometimes she would steal out when he was from home, or on a journey, or among his drunken companions, but with all privacy imaginable; and, poor woman, this advantage she had she carried it so to all her neighbours that, though many of them were but carnal, yet they would not betray her, or tell of her going out to the Word if they saw it, but would rather endeavor to hide it from Mr. Badman himself.

ATTEN. This carriage of his to her was enough to break her heart.

WISE. It was enough to do it indeed, yea, it did effectually do it. It killed her in time, yea, it was all the time a killing of her. She would oftentimes, when she sat by herself, thus mournfully bewail her condition:—‘Woe is me that I sojourn in Meshech,’ and ‘that I dwell in the tents of Kedar! My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace.’ O ‘what shall be given unto thee,’ thou ‘deceitful tongue?’ ‘or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?’ (Psa 120). I am a woman grieved in spirit, my husband has bought me and sold me for his lusts. It was not me, but my money that he wanted; O that he had had it, so I had had my liberty! This she said, not of contempt of his person, but of his conditions,[37]

and because she saw that, by his hypocritical tongue, he had brought her not only almost to beggary, but robbed her of the Word of God.

ATTEN. It is a deadly thing, I see, to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If this woman had had a good husband, how happily might they have lived together! Such an one would have prayed for her, taught her, and also would have encouraged her in the faith and ways of God; but now, poor creature, instead of this there is nothing but the quite contrary.

WISE. It is a deadly thing indeed, and therefore, by the Word of God, his people are forbid to be joined in marriage with them.

‘Be ye not,’ saith it, ‘unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?’

(2 Cor 6:14-16). There can be no agreement where such matches are made; even God himself hath declared the contrary from the beginning of the world. ‘I,’ says he, ‘will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed’ (Gen 3:15). Therefore he saith in another place they can mix no better than iron and clay (Dan 2:43). I say they cannot agree, they cannot be one, and therefore they should be aware at first, and not lightly receive such into their affections. God has often made such matches bitter, especially to his own. Such matches are, as God said of Eli’s sons that were spared, to consume the eyes and to grieve the heart.

O! the wailing and lamentation that they have made that have been thus yoked, especially if they were such as would be so yoked against their light and good counsel to the contrary.

ATTEN. Alas! he deluded her with his tongue, and feigned reformation.

WISE. Well, well, she should have gone more warily to work. What if she had acquainted some of her best, most knowing, and godly friends therewith? What if she had engaged a godly minister or two to have talked with Mr. Badman? Also, what if she had laid wait round about him, to espy if he was not otherwise behind her back than he was before her face? And besides I verily think—since in the multitude of counsellors there is safety—that if she had acquainted the congregation with it, and desired them to spend some time in prayer to God about it, and if she must have had him, to have received him as to his godliness upon the judgment of others, rather than her own—she knowing them to be godly and judicious and unbiased men—she had had more peace all her life after, than to trust to her own poor, raw, womanish judgment as she did. Love is blind, and will see nothing amiss where others may see a hundred faults. Therefore I say she should not have trusted to her own thoughts in the matter of his goodness.

As to his person, there she was fittest to judge, because she was to be the person pleased, but as to his godliness, there the Word was the fittest judge, and they that could best understand it, because God was therein to be pleased. I wish that all young maidens will take heed of being beguiled with flattering words, with feigning and lying speeches, and take the best way to preserve themselves from being bought and sold by wicked men as she was, lest they repent with her, when, as to this, repentance will do them no good, but for their unadvisedness go sorrowing to their graves.

ATTEN. Well things are past with this poor woman and cannot be called back, let others beware by her misfortunes, lest they also fall into her distress.

WISE. That is the thing that I say, let them take heed, lest for their unadvisedness they smart, as this poor woman has done. And ah! methinks, that they that yet are single persons, and that are tempted to marry to such as Mr. Badman, would, to inform and warn themselves in this matter before they entangle themselves, but go to some that already are in the snare, and ask them how it is with them, as to the suitable or unsuitableness of their marriage, and desire their advice. Surely they would ring such a peal in their ears about the unequality, unsuitableness, disadvantages, and disquietments, and sins that attend such marriages, that would make them beware as long as they live. But the bird in the air knows not the notes of the bird in the snare until she comes thither herself. Besides, to make up such marriages, Satan and carnal reason, and lust, or at least inconsiderateness, has the chiefest hand; and where these things bear sway, designs, though never so destructive, will go headlong on; and therefore I fear that but little warning will be taken by young girls at Mr. Badman’s wife’s affliction.

ATTEN. But are there no dissuasive arguments to lay before such, to prevent their future misery?

WISE. Yes: there is the law of God, that forbiddeth marriage with unbelievers. These kind of marriages also are condemned even by irrational creatures. 1. It is forbidden by the law of God, both in the Old Testament and in the New. 1. In the Old. Thou shalt not ‘make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son’ (Deut 7:3). 2. In the New Testament it is forbidden. ‘Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,’ let them marry to whom they will, ‘only in the Lord’ (2 Cor 6:14-16; 1 Cor 7:39).

Here now is a prohibition, plainly forbidding the believer to marry with the unbeliever, therefore they should not do it. Again, these unwarrantable marriages are, as I may so say, condemned by irrational creatures, who will not couple but with their own sort.

Will the sheep couple with a dog, the partridge with a crow, or the pheasant with an owl? No, they will strictly tie up themselves to those of their own sort only. Yea, it sets all the world a wondering, when they see or hear the contrary. Man only is most subject to wink at, and allow of these unlawful mixtures of men and women; because man only is a sinful beast, a sinful bird, therefore he, above all, will take upon him, by rebellious actions, to answer, or rather to oppose and violate the law of his God and Creator; nor shall these or other interrogatories, What fellowship?

what concord? what agreement? what communion can there be in such marriages? be counted of weight or thought worth the answering by him,

But further, the dangers that such do commonly run themselves into, should be to others a dissuasive argument to stop them from doing the like: for besides the distresses of Mr. Badman’s wife, many that have had very hopeful beginnings for heaven, have, by virtue of the mischiefs that have attended these unlawful marriages, miserably and fearfully miscarried. Soon after such marriages, conviction, the first step towards heaven, hath ceased; prayer, the next step towards heaven, hath ceased; hungerings and thirstings after salvation, another step