Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

ordinary good Religious were wont to do, and by approaching the

sacrament more frequently she placed herself among the more

fervent nuns. [12]

St. Teresa wrote quite a number of different accounts of her

life. The first, addressed to Father Juan de Padranos, S.J. [13]

and dated 1557, is now lost. The second, written for St. Peter

of Alcantara, is Relation I. at the end of this volume; a copy of

it, together with a continuation (Relation II.) was sent to

Father Pedro Ibañez in 1562. It is somewhat difficult to admit

that in the very same year she wrote another, more extensive,

account to the same priest, which is generally called the “first”

Life. At the end of the Life such as we have it now, St. Teresa

wrote: “This book was finished in June, 1562,” and Father Bañez

wrote underneath: “This date refers to the first account which

the Holy Mother Teresa of Jesus wrote of her life; it was not

then divided into chapters. Afterwards she made this copy and

inserted in it many things which had taken place subsequent to

this date, such as the foundation of the monastery of St. Joseph

of Avila.” Elsewhere Father Bañez says: [14] “Of one of her

books, namely, the one in which she recorded her life and the

manner of prayer whereby God had led her, I can say that she

composed it to the end that her confessors might know her the

better and instruct her, and also that it might encourage and

animate those who learn from it the great mercy God had shown

her, a great sinner as she humbly acknowledged herself to be.

This book was already written when I made her acquaintance, her

previous confessors having given her permission to that effect.

Among these was a licentiate of the Dominican Order, the Reverend

Father Pedro Ibañez, reader of Divinity at Avila. She afterwards

completed and recast this book.” These two passages of Bañez

have led the biographers of the Saint to think that she wrote her

Life twice, first in 1561 and the following year, completing it

in the house of Doña Luisa de la Cerda at Toledo, in the month of

June; and secondly between 1563 and 1565 at St. Joseph’s Convent

of Avila. They have been at pains to point out a number of

places which could not have been in the “first” Life, but must

have been added in the second; [15] and they took it for granted

that the letter with which the book as we now have it concludes,

was addressed to Father Ibañez in 1562, when the Saint sent him

the “first” Life. It bears neither address nor date, but from

its contents I am bound to conclude that it was written in 1565,

that it refers to the “second” Life, and that whomsoever it was

addressed to, it cannot have been to Father Ibañez, who was

already dead at the time. [16] Saint Teresa asks the writer to

send a copy of the book to Father Juan de Avila. Now we know

from her letters that as late as 1568 this request had not been

complied with, and that St. Teresa had to write twice to Doña

Luisa for this purpose; [17] but if she had already given these

instructions in 1562, it is altogether incomprehensible that she

did not see to it earlier, especially when the “first” Life was

returned to her for the purpose of copying and completing it.

The second reason which prevents me from considering this letter

as connected with the “first” Life will be examined when I come

to speak of the different ends the Saint had in view when writing

her Life. It is more difficult to say to whom the letter was

really addressed. The Reforma suggests Father Garcia de Toledo,

Dominican, who bade the Saint write the history of the foundation

of St. Joseph’s at Avila [18] and who was her confessor at that

convent. It moreover believes that he it is to whom Chapter

XXXIV. §§ 8-20 refers, and this opinion appears to me plausible.

As to the latter point, Yepes thinks the Dominican at Toledo was

Father Vicente Barron, the Bollandists offer no opinion, and

Mr. Lewis, in his first edition gives first the one and then the

other. If, as I think, Father Garcia was meant, the passage in

Chapter XVI. § 10, beginning “O, my son,” would concern him also,

as well as several passages where Vuestra Merced—you, my

Father—is addressed. For although the book came finally into

the hands of Father Bañez, it was first delivered into those of

the addressee of the letter.

Whether the previous paper was a mere “Relation,” or really a

first attempt at a “Life,” [19] there can be no dispute about its

purpose: St. Teresa speaks of it in the following terms: “I had

recourse to my Dominican father (Ibañez); I told him all about my

visions, my way of prayer, the great graces our Lord had given

me, as clearly as I could, and begged him to consider the matter

well, and tell me if there was anything therein at variance with

the Holy Writings, and give me his opinion on the whole

matter.” [20] The account thus rendered had the object of

enabling Father Ibañez to give her light upon the state of her

soul. But while she was drawing it up, a great change came over

her. During St. Teresa’s sojourn at Toledo she became from a

pupil an experienced master in Mystical knowledge. “When I was

there a religious” (probably Father Garcia de Toledo) “with whom

I had conversed occasionally some years ago, happened to arrive.

When I was at Mass in a monastery of his Order, I felt a longing

to know the state of his soul.” [21] Three times the Saint rose

from her seat, three times she sat down again, but at last she

went to see him in a confessional, not to ask for any light for

herself, but to give him what light she could, for she wished to

induce him to surrender himself more perfectly to God, and this

she accomplished by telling him how she had fared since their

last meeting. No one who reads this remarkable chapter can help

being struck by the change that has come over Teresa: the period

of her schooling is at an end, and she is now the great teacher

of Mystical theology. Her humility does not allow her to speak

with the same degree of openness upon her achievements as she did

when making known her failings, yet she cannot conceal the Gift

of Wisdom she had received and the use she made of it.

St. Teresa’s development, if extraordinary considering the degree

of spirituality she reached, was nevertheless gradual and

regular. With her wonderful power of analysis, she has given us

not only a clear insight into her interior progress, but also a

sketch of the development of her understanding of supernatural

things. “It is now (i.e., about the end of 1563) some five or

six years, I believe, since our Lord raised me to this state of

prayer, in its fulness, and that more than once,—and I never

understood it, and never could explain it; and so I was resolved,

when I should come thus far in my story, to say very little or

nothing at all.” [22] In the following chapter she adds: “You,

my father, will be delighted greatly to find an account of the

matter in writing, and to understand it; for it is one grace that

our Lord gives grace; and it is another grace to understand what

grace and what gift it is; and it is another and further grace to

have the power to describe and explain it to others. Though it

does not seem that more than the first of these—the giving of

grace—is necessary, it is a great advantage and a great grace to

understand it.” [23] These words contain the clue to much that

otherwise would be obscure in the life of our Saint: great graces

were bestowed upon her, but at first she neither understood them

herself nor was she able to describe them. Hence the inability

of her confessors and spiritual advisers to guide her.

Her natural gifts, great though they were, did not help her much.

“Though you, my father, may think that I have a quick

understanding, it is not so; for I have found out in many ways

that my understanding can take in only, as they say, what is

given it to eat. Sometimes my confessor used to be amazed at my

ignorance: and he never explained to me—nor, indeed, did I

desire to understand—how God did this, nor how it could be.

Nor did I ever ask.” [24] At first she was simply bewildered by

the favours shown her, afterwards she could not help knowing,

despite the fears of over anxious friends, that they did come

from God, and that so far from imperilling her soul made a

different woman of her, but even then she was not able to explain

to others what she experienced in herself. But shortly before

the foundation of St. Joseph’s convent she received the last of

the three graces mentioned above, the Gift of Wisdom, and the

scene at Toledo is the first manifestation of it.

This explains the difference of the “Life” such as we know it

from the first version or the “Relations” preceding it.

Whatever this writing was, it still belonged to the period of her

spiritual education, whereas the volume before us is the

first-fruit of her spiritual Mastership. The new light that had

come to her induced her confessors [25] to demand a detailed work

embodying everything she had learned from her heavenly

Teacher. [26] The treatise on Mystical theology contained in

Chapters X. to XXI., the investigation of Divine locutions,

Visions and Revelations in the concluding portion of the work

could have had no place in any previous writing. While her

experiences before she obtained the Gift of Wisdom influenced but

three persons (one of them being her father), a great many

profited by her increased knowledge. [27] The earlier writings

were but confidential communications to her confessors, and if

they became known to larger circles this was due to indiscretion.

But her “Life” was written from the beginning with a view to

publication. Allusions to this object may be found in various

places [28] as well as in the letter appended to the book, [29]

but the decisive utterances must be sought for elsewhere, namely

in the “Way of Perfection.” This work was written immediately

after the “Life,” while the Saint was as yet at the convent of

St. Joseph’s. It was re-written later on and is now only known

in its final shape, but the first version, the original of which

is preserved at the Escurial and has been reproduced

photographically, leaves no doubt as to the intentions of

St. Teresa in writing her “Life.” “I have written a few days ago

a certain Relation of my Life. But since it might happen that my

confessor may not permit you (the Sisters of St. Joseph’s) to

read it, I will put here some things concerning prayer which are

conformable to what I have said there, as well as some other

things which appear to me to be necessary.” [30] Again: “As all

this is better explained in the book which I say I have written,

there is no need for me to speak of it with so much detail.

I have said there all I know. Those of you who