LITTLE GIRL LOST by SARAH BETH LEE (best books to read for knowledge TXT) 📕

CHAPTER FIVE
LOVE AND OTHER CATSTROPHIES

Zach wasn’t sure exactly what Nick had in mind but he knew he had been acting strange all weekend. He had left the house for hours at a time and then came back with a list of places and addresses. Zach had kept a close eye on him because he knew how spur of the moment he could be. Nick would act first and think later and that had tended to get him in trouble. Zach heard the front door open and Nick came in with his arms full.

“Hey what’s all that?”

“This my friend is Christmas decorations.”

Zach laid his magazine on the coffee table and walked across the room to close the door. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into Nick but he was definitely not himself. Nick never celebrated the holidays and Zach never pushed him about it.

“Okay who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

Nick pushed Zach’s hand away and laughed, “I know it’s totally crazy but I want to make this a holiday season to remember. Come on help me with the rest of the boxes.”

Zach pretended to grumble as he followed Nick outside. He wondered if Hannah had anything to do with his sudden change of heart about the holidays. He grabbed a couple of boxes out of the back seat and carried them inside before heading back out. He picked up the last of the boxes and followed Nick inside out of the cool fall breeze.

“So you do realize that Thanksgiving comes first right?”

Nick chuckled, “Of course that’s on Sunday right?”

Nick tried to hide his grin as Zach started mumbling, “Dude it’s on Thursday, gees.”

Nick began to put the numerous boxes in the hall closet, “I know I was just messing around. I know when it is and I have already talked to Susan she was absolutely thrilled that I am actually coming this year.”

“Nick you do realize that you have made her entire year right? Do you have any idea how long she has been trying to get you to take part in our family holiday extravaganzas?”

“I know but I just never felt right about it.”

“Nick you know we consider you part of the family.”

Nick looked at his feet and tried to find the words to make Zach understand how he had felt all these years. He knew the Ryan’s loved him and considered him one of their own but he still remembered his family and how things used to be. He could all but see them sitting right here laughing and exchanging gifts.

“I don’t know how to put this into words so bear with me okay?” Zach nodded for Nick to continue. “I still remember how my mom loved holidays and I mean all holidays. She went all out for Valentine’s Day, Easter, 4th of July oh and she always made Halloween the best. I think maybe it was her favorite. She had this Halloween party every year with a bonfire and ghost stories. Man the food was so good chilies and hotdogs, every kind of sandwich you can imagine and so many sweets you got a tooth ache just looking at the table. I swear everyone on our street and three streets over came. She would pick her favorite costume and give whoever it was a 100 bucks. After the first year people started competing and coming up with some really great costumes. My favorite was Darth Vader complete with a voice box that sounded exactly like the movie. But Christmas was special it was a time for family and remembering how lucky we were to have each other. She did so many little things to make it perfect like making homemade Christmas cards for our grandparents, baking cookies for Santa. I remember the day after Thanksgiving we always went to pick out our Christmas tree. I can still see my dad standing with his hands on his hips surveying the never ending field and picking just the right one. He wouldn’t settle for just any tree it had to be the perfect tree. He always got such a kick out of hanging lights on the house while we helped mom with the tree. We would decorate the tree with ornaments that had been handed down for generations. She would always give me and my sisters an ornament every year so we would be able to carry on the tradition.”

Nick could feel his throat closing up as he tried to hold off the tears that the memories brought on. He knew they were threatening to fall to fall at any minute. He drew in a shaky breath before he continued. Zach could see the pain flashing like a neon sign in the depths of Nick’s blue eyes. He wanted to help but he knew this was something he had to do on his own. Nick had never talked so openly about his family and Zach knew that somehow Hannah had brought this change on.

“I guess I felt like I didn’t deserve to celebrate holidays anymore. I mean why should I get to celebrate when they couldn’t. I felt guilt just being alive so I closed myself off and tried to act like I didn’t care about Christmas or any other holiday.”

“Nick I hope you know that your parents loved you and wouldn’t want you to miss out on having a life.”

Nick looked up at Zach and nodded his head, “I know I have been telling myself that for years but I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Get what out of your head?”

“The way mom always said the only thing that matters is having you guys here. Every Christmas she said as long as she had us she didn’t need any presents. I just feel so lost like if I celebrate its somehow disrespectful to her memory.”

“Nick she wouldn’t want you to miss out on having a happy and full life. Believe me she would want you to embrace life and enjoy all it has to offer.”

Nick studied the sparkle in Zach’s eyes and wondered how he could possible know that.

“How would you know you never met my mom?”

“Because it’s a mom thing, she would want you to be happy. Believe me Nick she wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.”

Nick gave a half hearted smile in Zach’s direction but he knew in his heart that if Zach knew the truth he would change his mind. Nick blamed himself everyday for the death of his family and for the fact that he was still alive. He knew that no one could possibly understand but Nick had kept the secret so long that his voice stuck in his throat at the thought of speaking of the accident. He looked away from Zach and tried to chase away the demons that were always nipping at his heels.

“So what’s up with you and Beth tonight?”

“I think tonight is the night.”

Nick raised his eyes from the floor and saw the gleam in Zach’s green eyes. The night, the night he had been planning for months?

“You got the ring?”

“I just picked it up.”

Nick watched as Zach crossed the room and pulled the black velvet box out of his pocket. He heard the spring snap as he opened the box to reveal a beautiful heart shaped solitaire surrounded on each side with a sapphire Beth’s birthstone.

“Nice job, she’ll love it.”

“I know but before she gets this one I am giving her this.”

Zach held up a fortune cookie and a ring pop. Nick had to laugh it was too funny but he knew Beth would know how crazy Zach was and she would love it.

“So what’s the plan? Where are you taking her and how are you going to do it?’

“Well I’ve already talked to her mom and dad and they said yes of course.”

“Well why wouldn’t they say yes you guys are perfect together and they already consider you part of the family.”

“Yes but this makes it official and this is their little girl.”

Nick immediately thought of the picture of Hannah dancing on her daddy’s feet. He knew that no matter what age it would be hard to let your little girl go. He looked back up to see Zach watching him intently.

“Sorry I zoned out there for a second.”

“I know and I am pretty sure I know what you were thinking about or should I say who.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Oh let me clear it up for you. Every time you talk about, think about or say Hannah’s name you get this far away look in your eyes. So yeah you were thinking about her just now.”

“Gees that obvious?”

“Yeah like a sign flashing ‘HANNAH, HANAH’ it’s like you’re a million miles away.”

Nick shrugged his shoulders and looked out the window. He knew Zach was right but how was he suppose to focus on anything else? He had become completely enthralled with her and really what did he know about her? He knew she lost her dad at a very young age, her mom was no longer in the picture and she was a genius who owned her own publishing company. She loved books and she didn’t have many friends aside from her employees. That was all the he really knew and he got that from Zach.

“Ok so I was thinking about her but please continue with your plan.”

Zach laughed as Nick sat with his legs crossed and his hand on his chin. He was sure that Nick, being a ladies’ man and all would advise him on what he was doing wrong.

“I am going to take her to eat at The Parlor, then to the basketball game at Oak Hill and then to The Hot Spot.”

“Zach have you lost your mind? I mean come on that sounds like a high school date.”

Zach was grinning like a maniac, “Of course it sounds like a high school date because that’s exactly what we did on our very first date. I waited until tonight because Oak Hill is playing St. Mark’s high and that was the team that played that night.”

Nick smiled as he remembered driving them to the game, “Well if you want to make it just like the first date I could drive you guys.”

Zach looked at Nick and thought about it. He wondered if that would be