Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"Oh god. Oh god. Oh god! What have I done?!" I covered my face with my hands on the verge of another major breakdown as the reality of the situation hit me hard.

I couldn't. I hadn't just lost my V-card to some stranger whose name I didn't even know.

How could you, Alana?

"Did we...did we?"

"Of course we had sex, and let me tell you, it was the best—"

I couldn't hear his words, I'd tuned everything out as I dissolved into a crying fit. I had sex with a complete stranger and the worst part was that I couldn't even remember it. How could I do this to myself. In the back of my mind, I wondered how I could possibly do this to Rowan. Then I remembered, we weren't together. Rowan was probably out there sleeping with a bunch of girls in Denmark too. A single one-night stand on my list wasn't going to hurt, right?

Right?

I cried harder.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy moved closer to me and took my hands in his. "It was just causal sex. Why are you crying?"

He seemed genuinely concerned. "Are you scared that your boyfriend will find out? I wouldn't tell a soul. Nobody would know."

I pulled my hands out of his grasp. "How could you do this to me? I was drunk."

"You asked for it, sweetness."

"I would have asked you to jump off your balcony, would you have done that too?" I snapped back.

"I don't understand. What's the big deal?"

This guy was like the fucking epitome of chilled out behavior. What was virginity to him anyway? A box of colorful donuts that I distributed in the mall? What the hell? Who was this guy exactly?

"Because...I was a virgin." There I said it. The word was being the operative word. Past tense.

He gaped at me, like really stared at me as if I had confessed that I had herpes.

"You're kidding." He declared, grabbing for a bagel.

"I'm not."

"So you're upset because you think I took your virginity?"

"Of course." I said wiping my tears. "I don't even know you."

"Now you do."

Exasperated, I threw the covers and climbed to my feet. I needed to get out of this place so I straightened my dress and grabbed for my cellphone from the dresser. "Just so we are clear, nothing happened between us and we don't know each other."

The guy stood up and folded his arms across his chest blocking my way. "I don't even get a simple thank you?"

I started at him incredulously, "Thank you for what? For having sex with me while I was defenseless and drunk?"

I'd burst his nerve because he didn't seem amused now. He was pissed off. That playful smile was wiped clean.

"I brought you to my apartment yesterday because I couldn't find your friends or your boyfriend for that matter..."

"Gabriel is not my boyfriend."

He ignored me and went on. "And you puked all over my expensive shirt and my rug. Took me ages to clean that ugly yellowish stain that ain't gonna vanish in the next twenty fucking years. Yeah, and guess what, you were too drunk to even know what the fuck you were blabbering about and slept like a dead body in my bed while I had to sleep on the couch. And I don't fuck dead bodies, just so you know."

I burst out laughing. I think I had tears in my eyes.

"What's so funny?"

"So that means I'm still a virgin."

"Technically, yes. I mean, how stupid are you? Your clothes were still on when you woke up this morning, and I guess you are walking fine which is a dead giveaway that I wasn't anywhere between your legs. It was a joke, and I practically saved your ass from sleeping with a complete stranger who would have taken advantage of your innocence." He barked.

"Says the stranger who played tonsil hockey with me by making me think that it was my boyfriend. That's not taking advantage? Remind me why I should be thankful to whatever-your-name-is, Mister."

"It's Troy. Yo, girl, just cuz I'm keeping my mouth shut doesn't mean you have to run yours. Also, don't even get me started on your friends, they were busy boozing their asses yesterday and I'm pretty sure they forgot all about you. Some friends. So, I did you a favor, be thankful that you were at the hands of the great Troy from Oblivion."

"Oblivion?" I asked. "What is that?"

"If you still haven't gathered. I'm the guitarist for a local band that will go international soon."

I suppressed an eye-roll. He was so full of himself.

"Good luck with your band." I said as I checked my phone. It was switched off.

I dreaded going back to my little studio apartment. God knew what Chez and Nina were up to. They had probably even filed a missing's person report till now and going bonkers, running around the town.

"Thanks for everything, and sorry for your t-shirt and the rug." I rummaged in my purse and handed him some cash.

He handed the money back to me. "I don't think this will cover it, besides I threw it already so no big deal."

"Okay." I said, stashing the money back into my bag.

Before I could step out of the apartment, Troy placed a jacket over my shoulders. I raised my eyes in question. He said, "You are going to attract a lot of unwanted attention with that dress of yours, it's better you put this on, and I don't need the jacket back."

"Thanks." I said as I pulled on the jacket. It was warm and smelled like him. 

"I can offer you a ride home if you want..." he offered.

"So that you can get my address, thanks but no thanks. You've already done enough, Troy."

"Hate to break it to you, love, but I already know where you live." that grin again.

I didn't ask how or why as I said goodbye and walked out of his apartment.

When I stepped out of the elevator, a group of guys stepped in, eyeing me suspiciously. I paid no heed as I made my way out in the cool October air.