Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

   "You know what, I don't want to be a part of this anymore. This fake dating thing we had going on is over. I don't give a damn about your reputation. And I'm going to stay the fuck away from you and your cousin, because you know, I don't want to lose the remaining sanity I'm still holding onto."

   "Alana..." Troy started saying, but I hit end call and switched off my phone. It was going to remain switched off for a day or two.

  I stared at the digital clock on the bedside table. It was 1:00 am, thankfully, the next day was a weekend, but I needed to go for my part time babysitting job which included taking care of bratty, snot dripping kids who invented different ways to torture me. I wished they were all like Minnie, sweet and understanding.

   Here I was, back to square one, thinking about that asshole. He had asked for a chance, now he wasn't getting any, infact, Rowan had better chances at winning the lottery. 

Keep telling yourself that, Alana.

****

   It's been a week since my fight with Rowan and I hadn't heard from him since, and I'd successfully avoided Troy at college when he'd tried to explain himself. How could he freakin' lie about me sleeping with him? He'd gone ahead and complicated things more further.

      "Alana..." Nina said. "Hey, Alana...are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?"

     "I'm listening."

     "No, you're not. You're wandering in Rowan island since the day he stepped foot in Carmel."

    "Let's not talk about him." I said as I changed the tv channel.

     "Look, I don't understand. Why don't you guys just talk and sort it out?" Nina suggested.

      "Rowan is not my boyfriend anymore."

     "Yeah, but he sure acts like one."

     "I know right? What's his problem? He wasn't even here for two years, so what gives?"

    "Admit it, Alana. You like it when Rowan gets jealous over you."  She said taking a bite of a pizza slice. We had ordered a large peperoni and cheese pizza for the evening.

     "He acts like a fucking caveman. What's to like?"

      "A caveman who was an ex-professor and is a new international model." Nina reached for her bag and pulled out a fashion magazine.

   I stared at the cover. Rowan appeared shirtless, wearing only a pair of jeans, unbuttoned and a tall black haired woman with long legs clinging onto him, her palm flat on his abdomen and Rowans arm possessively grabbing her waist. His expressions were erotic.

   Nina pushed the cover in my face. "What's not to like?"

   I slapped it away. "Don't show me those!" 

   Nina narrowed her eyes at me. "So now, for just one minute, can you be in Rowan's shoes and imagine how he must have felt when he found out that you slept with his cousin?"

   "I never slept with Troy, Nina!"

   "But, Rowan doesn't know that. If I were him, I would be really upset. So, just think about it." Nina continued. "I don't like the look on your face. It's the serial killer look."

   I stashed the magazine under the coffee table. It made me crazy to think about his hands on other women, even though I wanted to kill him. The thought of Rowan pleasing someone else made me cry. As if on cue, we heard the doorbell.

      "I'll get it." Nina said as she scurried towards the door.

     And I carried the box of pizza to the kitchen, can't have anyone else mooch off our food, especially if it was Chez when all we would find was an empty box and a few crumbs.

   "Who is it, Nina?" I called out to her.

    I walked out from the little kitchen to find Rowan in the doorway. Nina was smiling at him, pushing her hair behind her ear and making small talk, but her body was tense like he wasn't Rowan, her best friend's ex-boyfriend, but a strict ex- teacher who was here to check her assignment. Poor Nina.

   I stepped forward and folded my arms across my chest, ready to shut the door in his face for any apology that he was going to dish out, but I noticed Minnie standing beside him, holding his hand with that vibrant smile plastered over her cute face.

    Rowan was smart. He had brought his lucky card.

    Rowan's eyes shifted from Nina to me. "Hi, Alana."

    "Minnie, how are you, baby?" I asked her as I took her hand in mine and led her inside my apartment, ignoring Rowan at the doorstep.

   "Alana, your house is so small. My bedroom is bigger." Minnie said as she climbed over my bed with her shoes. I needed to change the covers before I went to bed, I made a mental note to myself.

   "Minnie, you shouldn't say that, sweetie." Rowan said in the sweetest tone he exclusively used only for Minnie.

    "Sowwieee, but, your bed is cute."

   "May I come in?" Rowan asked me, pleading eyes and all. He was wearing the same bomber jacket that I'd gifted him in Denmark. I realized he had a rough look today because of the slight facial hair.

    "Sure." I said.

    Nina closed the door behind us. "Minnie, would you like pizza?"

   She began hopping on the mattress with glee. "Yayy! Pizzaaaa!"

    "Take off your shoes, Minnie. Where are your manners?" Rowan said.

   "Sir, how about you? Pizza?" Nina asked Rowan politely. Even after he had told her numerous times that they were first name basis, Nina always went back to honorifics.

   "I'm good." Rowan politely declined, his eyes were on me.

    He settled down on the single couch. Nina left us alone to get pizza. I stood staring at him, and him me. I don't think we even blinked when she returned with the slice.

   "Here you go."

    Minnie snatched the plate from her and began chomping on the slice, picking out an onion wedge off the cheese.