Stay with Me by Awesomekristii (primary phonics .TXT) 📕

He broke in there, the moistness of his eyes residing on my skin,  made me weep. I could t see the pain he was feeling, making me helpless to do anything to help him. “I couldn’t protect them, I was a loser, Lilah… I was fucking useless…”

“Shh… you are nothing that, En…. You did everything in you to save her… it’s no one fault, that’s fate and we don’t have any hands in there…” I felt his harsh breathing against me, his arms sinking into my bones.

“Why he had to take her away, I lost my sister with Emma… it was a week later that I found her dead on the bathroom floor, her wrist slithered, it pained me to see the pool of blood on the floor and the lifeless body of my sister… but God didn’t stop there, the once happy home saw all its miseries and I found my mother passing away three months later, grieving so hard at the near losses… first her husband, then his only granddaughter and only daughter…”

“Grams was there beside me then, she and Steven have always been there when even I was closed off inside a shell, grieving… she was stronger than me, acting more of a pole of support than what I should have been…” I kissed his hair, hearing all his words, I wanted him to pour out, whatever he had locked inside him all these years, which was suffocation for him. Grieving is something you can’t get with unless you pour it out. The more it stays inside, the more contagious it gets, spreading all over you, gripping like a vine, pressing down from any future growth.

I cupped his face, and it broke my heart into smithereens to watch the tough man, breaking in my arms. I brought my face closer to him, wanting him to know he had not lost everyone. I was still there and would always be. “You still have me.” His beautiful eyes met mine, and I wanted to extract all the pain he had residing there to be out of him.

“I know, and I’m sorry… again,”

“Sh… there is nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong wanting to preserve your sister’s past to yourself alone, I shouldn’t have been nosy…”

“No yo-“ I shushed him, placing my lips over him. It felt as calmly exciting, and peaceful as the first time. His lips fused in mine so well, but unlike all the other times, everything was sweet, as if we were pouring our souls, our unsaid words in them, and just not passion. It was filled with love, fondness, and something so raw and deep that I couldn’t get enough every time we were together.

“I love you, I breathed, breaking the kiss, his lips still hovering over mine, as I saw a real smile taking over his lips after all this time, he didn’t wait a minute to slam his lips against mine. There wasn’t any tongue involved, just us pouring out ourselves in a way, words couldn’t.

“I love you,” his words felt like music to my ears, a piece I want to play in the loop all day long.

His nose brushed against me, “Want to head back?” I sighed, looking at the sea waves, to be honest, I wanted to stay here all the time but that’s not possible and I had to head back home, and certainly, that felt more desiring than sitting on the sand.

“Yes,” I smiled and we stood up. I grabbed my flats, before linking our arms together. My head rested on his shoulders as we walked back to the car.

With one last look at the sea, we drove away.

••••••

“That’s cinnamon rolls,” I almost wanted to jump into his arms, grabbing him in a bear hug, and hearing the words he spoke out.

“Omg, thank you so much. It’s been ages since I had them,” I trotted towards the dining table, opening the box.

I heard his chuckle near me, “it's just been three days, Lilah since you had them.” I took one out and took a mouthful in. It was difficult to speak, “Bhhuth… that’s thhoo long..” He laughed again, shaking his head and my brows furrowed at him.

“First finish that and then speak.” I frowned at him, relishing the food in my mouth.

“You want some?”

“No, I’m better without it…” I almost rolled my eyes at him, he didn’t have a sweet tooth and that bothers me so much sometimes.

I saw him walking towards the speakers and setting the song. “Make you feel my love” by Adele. He walked towards me, while I stood there half surprised and the last piece of my roll still hanging in my mouth.

“Will you have a dance with me?” I nearly choked hearing him.

“you want that?” I smirked at him, my smile teasing, “You know that you aren’t good at it.” I saw him chuckle, his deep throaty one, almost hitting my southern part.

“Yeah I know, but doesn’t matter as long as it’s you only who is going to judge me.” I giggle at that, taking his hand in mine.

The song was beautiful, one of my favorites, it never gets old how many times I have heard it, it’s still as precious as before.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I didn’t know what’s happily ever after, or forever. And I could never imagine an ideal life for us. Life is full of ups and downs, there will be at times when I may like to go away from here, far away. While there will be times I will regret ever asking for that. Life is just like that, a mess. But a beautiful one. It’s never about the last endpoint, or what you get out of it, it’s the journey, the small aspects hiding the real aspects of happiness, love, and joy.

I never expect him to promise me an ever after, but yes I will always wish him to be beside me in every up and down we ever have to face in front of us. And that goes the same with me.

I want a life of love and care, and just not something always meant joyful. I had often seen the real darkness, reminding me to relish each second. I just want that whatever mess, whatever darkness we feel again we will never be alone to fight with our demons but will have each other. Someone to share me with, without even saying, someone who knows me inside out, overlooking my flaws and just lighting up my merits.