Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

****

"You missed the turn." Rowan reminded me as I parked the car near the curb. He was still staring straight ahead, probably contemplating how we could still get back on the same road without having to take a longer route.

"I didn't come here accidently."

Rowan frowned in confusion. "So you want to tell me why we are here?"

I killed the engine and got out of the car, he followed suit and carried Minnie out of the backseat. Elsa leaped out and made a run towards the open gates of the park.

Minnie pulled at Rowan's shirt. "Daddy, can I go on the swings?"

"Sure." he put her down and she followed Elsa in the general direction of the play area. "How did you know about this park? I mean, I used to play here as a kid."

There weren't many people in the park, just a few kids and their parents having a good time. A low gush of wind blew the fallen leaves on the grass.

"I just...I wanted you to remember some things." I glanced up into his deep brown eyes. "Some people in your life."

Rowan appeared puzzled by my last statement and started to respond when Minnie called out to him. "Daddy."

She came walking towards Rowan, a paper tucked in her fingers. "What is this, baby?"

Minnie pressed her lips together as she pushed it into his hands. Rowan took it from her; I could see the wheels turning in his head. I took a quick peek of the contents on the paper. It was a drawing, constructed with vivid colors on the paper. I looked closely, and noticed it was done entirely in crayons. It seemed like a drawing any little kid would do, but, if you looked closely, there was something out of picture there. The drawing was purposely done like that make it appear like it was done by a child, only it wasn't.

A dark haired boy held hands with a blond boy. And beneath the picture, it read.

Rowan and Cooper. Friends forever.

Rowan's hands trembled, he looked back at his daughter, "Who gave you this, sweetheart?"

Minnie pointed towards the play area.

****

Rowan

The man was right there. Blond, taut muscled and looking just out of place as he wheeled the merry-go-round, joining into the peaceful laughter of the children riding it. I just stood there, not knowing how to process the new missing piece in my life that had once again found a way back, that missing piece being my childhood friend Cooper, the boy who had also been a major part of the Rowan cheerleading team, the boy who tried to save his self-destructive friend once.

What part of my mind failed to recognize him before?

As I continued to watch him whirl the children, I imagined him being the Cooper who'd known me eighteen years ago. The broad man seemed to shrink in front of my eyes, morphing into the timid little Coop I'd known. That boy could barely carry a pair of old baggy pants on a slim waist; he couldn't stand up against the school bully. He glanced up at me, and smiled.

He made his way towards me with his hands dug deep in his pockets. Alana had already left to join Minnie and Elsa by the swings. Their cheerful laughter filled the dead awkward silence.

Gabriel closed the distance; he looked me dead in the eye, trying to gauze a reaction, waiting for me to take the lead.

"How long have you known about this?" I asked bluntly.

The corners of his mouth twitched up, those jaded green eyes held some amusement. "Are we skipping the usual pleasantries?"

"Guess we are." His eyes were still trying to intimidate the hell outta me. "So what is this? You and Alana were on the same team this entire time? Did either of you not think it would've been better if I learned about this sooner?"

"Oh c'mon, Rowan, would that make any difference?" he asked, keeping his voice low, barely audible. "I told Alana that I wanted to be the one to tell you. Does it bother you that I'm her best friend too? It was way too childish what you said to me on the phone, by the way."

"It doesn't matter. No matter how close anyone gets to her, no one will be able to take my place. I know that for a fact."

"And that gives you a good enough reason to pull your random bullshit?" He asked.

"I never said that." I quickly tried to defend myself.

"Hypocrite, domineering and overconfident. As always."

"I just trust my girl." I could feel my smile starting to stretch into a smirk.

"You should hold onto her." Gabriel said.

I managed a nod. Before the awkward silence could flap its wings, I asked. "I tried to get in touch with you. For eighteen years, Coop, I didn't know what to make of it, the way you disappeared without a trace. "

Why was I asking him this? After all these years. Did I care to know? I already knew the answer. He didn't offer me a response which was like adding fuel to the blazing flames. "Were you really my friend? Or were you just using me as a shield against the bad guys?"

"I just.." his voice was bleak.

I shook my head. "I want to know. I deserve to know. You tell me, I knocked at your door and I never got an answer. I wrote you. I called you." I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. "I always included you in my family. You were my brother."

"Were?.."

I didn't want to look into his eyes and see the hurt. "Yes, were, because I realized those feelings were just one sided. You never considered me any of it. And things have changed, you're not Cooper anymore. You are just Gabriel."

"There are things you need to understand, Rowan." Gabriel sighed in defeat. He knew he wasn't winning against me. "I've lived my life in guilt, thinking I was the one who turned you into what you were at that time. I didn't want to be a part of your life, and mess up again."