Sinfully Yours by Mirah Selim (best e reader for manga txt) 📕

Author Pov

"So he told you everything?"

Cyrus's calm voice scared her more than his angry ones. She stared at his covered back not knowing what to reply to him. Silence engulfed the room making her hear only their breathing and the loud sound of rain hitting the glass window.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Hazel frowned at his words.

" Laugh." He mumbled slowly turning around to face her.

"Laugh at me. Laugh at how this strong man here was nothing but a coward once. Laugh at how I am not really a narcissistic but an insecure man. Laugh at how I still get scared of those memories. Laugh Hazel. You should laugh at me I deserve your taunts, your mocking. Come on." Hazel sucked on her breath staring at him with stunned eyes.

How can he think that someone can make fun of the things he had to go through? She can never say that he deserved that suffering. No one deserves such a thing. She stared at him still not saying anything. Cyrus chuckled shaking his head.

"Or you're pitying me. Hmm" Hazel without realizing didn't this time back away from him as he made his way towards her. Standing in front of her he bent his face to her level glaring into her eyes.

"You're feeling bad for me! I don't fucking need it! I don't need your pity, Hazel. The fear in your eyes seems better than this pitiful sadness. Get over it I am not that fucking coward anymore! Whatever that fucking David told you forget it!" Snapping at her in an angry tone he tried walking away from her but surprisingly her small palm got wrapped around his wrist making him freeze in his spot.

"I don't pity you. I don't feel bad for you." Cyrus stayed silent still not looking in her way. She slowly left his wrist turning her body to face his back.

"I feel bad for the boy who had gone through that torture. That boy was innocent. That boy was sinless. He was thrown into that torturous life without him having any fault. He doesn't deserve to be called a coward. Because for me he's the strongest person to go through so much alone. I feel bad for that innocent naive boy not for you Cyrus Sylvester."

Her words turned his heart upside down making him slowly turn his body to face her. Hazel also stared right in his eyes while continuing.

"He wasn't the man you are today. You failed that struggling boy who wanted to keep his sanity safe. You failed him because today." Her eyes prickled with tears as she blinked her eyes to not let them out.

"You choose to become the monster they wanted you to be."

Cyrus' eyes dropped down on the floor registering her words. Was it his fault that he become what he is today? Was not able to have his control over his sanity his fault? Hazel flinched when Cyrus grabbed his head gritting his teeth. He growled making her step back in horror.

He grabbed the nearby vase throwing it on the floor. "If it's my fault. I deserve Punishment! " Hazel's eyes widened when she heard him murmuring to himself like a recorder.

He punched the wall multiple times but just when he was about to punch the mirror beside the wall he felt a soft hand grabbing his wrist. His bloodshot eyes met her teary ones. He looked crazy. Like he was possessed.

"Let go!" He tried to push her but she grabbed his both wrists making him glare at her.

"I SAID LET GO!" She did flinch in fear but didn't let him go. Just when he tried to push her again she grabbed his collar pulling him tightly in her arms.

Cyrus wasn't in his right mind even after being hugged by her he tried pushing her but she didn't let him go instead she tightened her arms around his neck forcing his head in her crook.

Cyrus's struggle slowly started dying down as she felt him slowly wrapping his arms around her waist. She did feel scared and uncomfortable in his arms. But right now she knew he needs this otherwise God forbid what he might end up doing to himself.

She felt him almost squeezing her against him snuggling in her crook jerking her body against his. They both stayed in the same place taking deep breaths. Hazel's heart felt at ease when his muscles started relaxing.

On the other hand, Cyrus didn't feel like leaving her. She had no idea how much he has craved this kind of warmth his whole life. In the initial days of staying in his darkness, he used to hurt himself to release his tension.

He had multiple cut scars all over his body which aren't given by Camile or due to his training but those were painted by him. Hurting and punishing himself for the tiniest reasons had become his habit. His harming was the only way to give a hand to his dying sanity.

Initially, he used to wish for someone to come and console him. Even after vowing to not let anyone in his life. He still somewhere in his heart wanted to feel the genuine care and warmth of someone. He did want to feel this warmth.

And now when finally she was here. Hugging him, stopping him from hurting himself he didn't have the heart to let her go. He wanted to stay this way for as long as he could.

Her words did hurt him but what hurt him the most was the way she looked at him. She was right when she said she didn't feel bad for the Cyrus Sylvester he is now. Because that hate, disgust, and disappointment in her eyes slashed his heart open without him realizing it.

He felt her gently removing her arms and against his will he let her go as well. Grabbing his arms she made him sit on the edge of the bed before running towards the side table and filling the glass with water.

Her whole body was still trembling. He knew she was scared and horrified by what she has witnessed. She extended her slightly shivering hand to give him the glass of water. Cyrus sighed grabbing her hand. She flinched making him blink sadly.

He placed the glass beside him on the bed before grabbing her both hands in his. She fisted her hands when he pulled them near his lips softly kissing them. She stared down at him but he didn't look up at her. She stiffen in her place when he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist burying his face in her stomach.