Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

Alana

     My father wasn't listening; he'd excused himself, picked his plate and walked into the kitchen through the back door. When Rick Hayes asks you to follow, one is expected to do exactly that. I hated to leave Rowan alone in the backyard but, I didn't want him around to see whatever my father had in store for me. One look at Rowan's face and it hurt too damn much.

   "I'm sorry..." Rowan's managed to choke a response.

     I kissed his cheek. "It's okay."

   I stood up to leave when Rowan got hold of my wrist. I turned back to face him.

   HOLY shit! Rowan looked like he was about to lose it, "stay." He swallowed, "Please don't leave me."

    "I'm not going anywhere. I'll just talk it out with him and be back." I assured him.

     I heard Rowan murmur I fucked this up, and a few minutes later, I realized how right he was.

****  

Dad was pacing around the room; it was his signature no-nonsense demeanor which made me wonder, how serious the situation actually was. If there was something that I could depict from my father's behavior, it was the fact that Rowan was in for a jolly trouble ride free of charge. I had strapped myself in that buggy, right in the front seat.

I had mustered up the courage to maintain eye contact, if there was anyone who could intimidate me, cutting close to Rowan, it was Rick Hayes.

  "Why did you lie to me?"

"Because I didn't want you to know the truth." I confessed.

"I thought you considered me as your best buddy, Alana, we never had secrets, not that I know of. Why now? You even lied to me about his daughter."

I blew out a breath, "Would you have given him a chance if I told you he had a daughter from an affair and that he'd been institutionalized for alcoholism in the past?"

My father remained silent. I'd successfully nailed a cross question.

"That is exactly why." I answered for him as I started to move away from the kitchen to step outside in the back yard when my dad's authoritative voice forced me to stop.

"I'm not finished with you yet."

I pressed my lips together. This felt like elementary school all over again.

"Did you walk into this knowing what you're getting yourself into?"

"What does that mean?"  I was bracing myself for what was about to follow.

"I don't know how you expect me to react to whatever he's confessed until now; I understand that he was responsible enough to raise a daughter himself, but a history of alcohol and drug abuse? A trip to mental facility?" the look that my father gave me, twisted me from the inside. It was a look that suggested that, I needed to get a recheck of my damaged brain, and maybe even my heart.

He continued, "You expect me to be alright with that?"

"What if Rowan hadn't told you the truth? You liked him, didn't you? Why did that change all of a sudden with just some truth?"

"Here's an example, Ted Bundy was charming and a smooth talker, but that did not stop him from murdering a dozen girls."

"Are you kidding me?" I snorted, "You think Rowan is a serial killer?"

   I had no idea if I was supposed to be pleased that he called Rowan charming or feel offended that he suspected Rowan could have traits of a psycho murder. I was going for offended.

   I pointed towards the partly open back door of the kitchen. Rowan remained where we'd left him; he was playing with Ronnie who was playfully biting his arm. "Just look at him, dad. Does he look like a manic to you? Does he seem like he'd cause me or anyone harm?"

My throat was closing in. I didn't want to seem weak. In reality, I was already breaking for that man.

"If he's ever going to harm anybody, it's himself." I said, taking my father's large hand in mine.

"I've known people like Rowan all my life, Alana, I've worked with convicts and victims who experienced the same problem. They seem charming, normal even, but that's all a bloody mask they put on to hide the demon that tries to resurface." He reasoned. It wasn't like I needed a written confirmation from my father. I was walking in the lion's den being fully aware of its consequences because I knew Rowan wasn't capable of hurting me. At least not physically.

   "Last summer you were here, you never told me why you appeared to be moping around the house, although I was sure it was boy problem. It was because of him, right?" He said him like it was a cuss word.

   I couldn't answer because that was the truth. After Rowan had broken up with me, I'd been miserable, like a broken record. I had spent a good amount of my time thinking about our breakup in Denmark and ended up coming home to keep my mind off things. Mom hadn't bothered to understand what was wrong with me, but dad knew.

   "You're breaking up with him, and that's it." Dad declared.

   "I love him, Dad." I choked. "I can't break up with him."

   Dad placed both his hands on my shoulder. "What do you mean you can't? Does he force you into being in a relationship with him?"

  "He never did any of that." I said. "Why are you acting so difficult?"

   "Because I don't want you to be with him." He said.

   "I'm sure Mom wouldn't have said a word."

   Dad chuckled. "Of course she wouldn't have, just as long as he belongs to a wealthy family. She wouldn't care if he was growing three heads."

   I hated to admit it, but dad was right.

  He continued. "You will do exactly as I tell you to. You aren't throwing away your life for a goddamn psychopath."

   "DADDY!" I screamed at him. And I'd never used that tone on my father before. "Rowan is not a psycho, and I can't have you decide what I'm going to do with my life."