Sinfully Yours by Mirah Selim (best e reader for manga txt) 📕

"Are you still scared of me?" Her head snapped to him hearing his words. She had no idea what to answer him.

Yes, she was scared of him, his intimacy, and the fear of him touching her still scares her but at the same time, she doesn't fear him the way she used to. Maybe because he has stopped forcing himself on her. Once even the thought of him being near her used to scare her but now it seems different. His presence doesn't scare her but his touch does.

Raising her eyes to his she slowly nodded her head. "Yes." Cyrus inhaled a sharp breath looking away from her. The obvious despise in her eyes once again brought an uncomfortable feeling to his chest.

"What scares you?" He mumbled looking at the beautiful view.

"I have stopped forcing you, I am doing everything in me to not hurt you, or let my anger issues rule over me around you. Then why? What scares you?" His question earned a small chuckle from her making him look at her.

"It's so easy for you to say this right?" She raised her sad eyes to him.

"No! It's not easy for me to stop myself. It's not easy for me to not be the ruthless monster I was raised to be. It's not me Hazel. I am not the man I am trying to be around you for the past month." He paused inhaling a sharp breath.

"I still have a desire for you, I still want to touch you, I still want to cage you, but when I see how uncomfortable you are, when I feel how stiff you become when you're in my arms I don't feel right. It's really not me. Still, I am trying. I really am." After his words for a few seconds, silence fell in the room making her just stare at him.

"And what do you want me to do with your tries? What are you expecting from me after saying all of this?" Cyrus licked his lips gulping down.

He has no idea why he was feeling nervous right now? Cyrus Sylvester who never even felt the slightest uncertainty while dealing with people was having a hard time communicating with this fragile woman.

"I know what I am going to ask for will be hard for you but I want it, Hazel. I need it." He looked right into her confused eyes.

"Forgive me."

Just like that everything went blank. The horrifying silence engulfed the balcony. Only light noise of the wind was being heard. Hazel's lips parted in shock while Cyrus was breathing unevenly. This wasn't him he knew. He was taught to never apologize. He was raised being a perfect man. He never made even the tiniest mistake after becoming a mob boss and a successful businessman. He wasn't familiar with such words and traits but over the past month, he was losing himself.

Even after all the things he did to her she still cried for him even though he knew she cried for that innocent boy but it was still enough for him to hope. The night he spent hugging her. That night, he lost his mind once again but for the first time after so many years he calmed down without harming himself was something new to him.

His grandfather and father always taught him one thing. Never trust a woman. And every woman that entered his life was either a gold digger or a psycho. That's why when Hazel entered his world he was left baffled seeing such innocence and naivety in a woman.

The first emotion he felt for her wasn't lust, it was admiration, but it changed to lust right away. His egoistic and insecure mind wanted to prove that she was the same. After getting him and his luxury she will turn to another Ella but she didn't. Even after he gave her everything she didn't change and the only thing he saw in her eyes each time he stared at them was.

Innocence. That sinless innocence successfully attracted a sinner but even after his every try to taint that innocence he was lost. Lost by her without her doing anything.

He wanted her forgiveness, and he knew only her Forgiveness can make him hope for her to accept him. Even if it will take a long time for her to accept him he will try because now Cyrus Sylvester doesn't just want her. He needs her. She has become someone to him he can't even think of living without.

"Forgiveness?" She mumbled in utter shock. Cyrus stared at her for a second but then a small chuckle left her lips as she shook her head in pure disbelief.

"This word doesn't seem right coming from you." Cyrus chuckled looking at her.

" I know. Just like I said it's not me Hazel. But I want to become like this. And it can only happen if I will be able to earn your forgiveness. Because I know you will try to accept me only after you will forgive me." Hazel suddenly rubbed her forehead in disbelief.

"Forgiveness? Accept you? You said it's not easy for you but you think it's a joke for me right? My life is a joke for you, a toy you can put in a play as you wish right." Cyrus opened his mouth to say something but Hazel continued.

"Tell me one thing you have done to earn my forgiveness. Tell me one thing you have done for me to accept you. Tell me! You're not doing any favor to me by stopping yourself from forcing me again." Cyrus gulped breaking the eye contact.

"You just want your own solace that's why you want my forgiveness. It's never about me, it's always about you. You have never done anything that could make me forgive the sin you have committed. So never expect me to accept you just because you're trying to change will never change the horrible memories I have lived because of you." With that, she stood up walking inside the office.

She took only two steps in when her wrist got grabbed by his large palm roughly jerking her back against him. She collided against his rock chest looking up in his burning gaze. And again she didn't get scared of him instead she just felt tired. She didn't struggle or try to get him off her she just stayed still being attached to him looking in his eyes.

"I know I can't change those memories I engraved in your mind! But I just want your forgiveness, just one chance to prove that I can be a better man. A man who will deserve you." He twisted her arm behind her back not in a painful manner but only to restrict her body to stay still against his.