Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

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Alana

     It's been a week since I moved in with Rowan, everything was so blissful so far. We were like a married couple, who weren't married. Rowan made the lunch in the morning so Minnie and I had packed lunches in our bag. I wanted to contribute to the house too, but Rowan wouldn't hear the end of it so I slipped in groceries and cooked when I could. He also helped me with my homework. Now that he had bagged a professors job in a neighboring university, he was busier than usual. Nina met me at college, but I was missing on the girls' time together so we promised each other that we would hang out this weekend.

    "Alana, wait." Troy called out to me in the hallway pulling me out of my thoughts. I was headed towards my sociology class, a late submission was due and now it had to wait.

   Troy was panting like he had done twenty laps around campus. His usual brown hair streaked with blonde. Every time, he looked at me, I was just reminded of a younger version of Rowan.

   "Alana, I just want you to know that I'm sorry for all those misunderstandings. I hope we are cool, y' know after whatever happened." He said.

   "Yeah, I guess we are cool. Even though you toyed around with me, blackmailed me into becoming your friend and dragged me around for your band practices. We are cool." I said sarcastically. 

   He dug his hands in his pockets. "I was lonely as fuck and I..."

   "Needed someone to entertain you. I get it."

   "No. Will you let me finish?" I'd ticked him off again. Boy, these Masters' had some serious anger issues. "When I met you at the club, I didn't know you were Rowan's girlfriend. That kiss was a douche move, and now, it's pretty complicated with Rowan. He is family. Whenever he sees me, he imagines you and me kissing or something because he is a raging bull the next minute which is stupid because that kiss was nothing. It was like kissing your older sister yo, not that I mean it was gross...god, you get what I mean, right?"

  I sighed. "I know. I'll talk to him, don't worry about it."

  "It's getting kinda cold. You game for coffee?" He asked. "It's just around the corner."

  "I have to submit my sociology assignment." I said.

   "I'll wait in the parking lot." He said.

   I realized he wasn't going to take no as an answer. "Okay." I agreed.

    Twenty minutes later, I was seated at a coffee shop that was a usual hangout for the university students. Troy had ordered two large cappuccinos, it was his treat and I was a sucker for coffee so when he batted his eyes and made the puppy face, I agreed for a little chat.

   "So what's it like living with him?" Troy asked.

   "It's nice." I said and left it at that.

     Troy chucked. "You can lie to me, Alana, but you don't have to lie to yourself."  

    "I don't want to talk about this, Troy. It feels wrong. I feel like I'm talking behind Rowan's back and we promised to be honest with each other."

     I picked up my coffee and slid out of the booth when Troy seized my hand. "I think if you weren't in his life, he would still have been locked up in that mental facility feeling sorry for himself. I know you love him a lot, and I'm not going to judge you for that, but Dwight told me to tell you that if you need anything, if you find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe around him, do not hesitate to call us."

     I smiled. "Thanks Troy."

    Troy wasn't looking at me, his gaze was trailed behind me. I followed his face and my eyes locked with the a pair of furious mocha colored eyes. Rowan was at the door making his way towards us. He gave me his signature death glare and turned to Troy.

    "What the fuck are you doing here and why is Alana with you?" He asked, scratch that, he demanded the answer from Troy pulling off his best serial killer look that would have had any person running for the hills. Troy surprisingly did not seem fazed by it.

   "Chillax bro, I wasn't bitchin' about you if that's what you think we were doing."

   "Whatever it is Troy, I want you to stop involving Alana into this. And you can tell Dwight to mind his own fucking business. Is that understood?"

   "Sure." Troy said and locked his sleepy gaze with mine.

   He didn't even acknowledge me as he stormed out of the cafeteria.

    "You better hurry before you get schooled too." Troy chuckled.

    I went back home in the afternoon; home that was now mine and Rowan's. It was during this time that I wondered if my decision of moving in with Rowan was wrong. I walked into the living area and found him seated in front of the flat screen playing his PS4

    "Hey." I said.

     "Hey." He smiled, his eyes glued on the screen. Something told me that the smile was forced.

     I slipped beside him on the couch and watched him play for a few minutes until I was bored. He wasn't going to initiate a conversation. I decided to break the awkward silence. "How was your day?"

    "It was alright."

        "Are you mad at me?" I asked.

        "Why the fuck would I be mad at you?" he asked and the tone he used told me I was right.

        "I want to talk to you, switch off that goddamn game." I said.

        He continued to play, slashing through some zombies. I walked towards the screen and unplugged the game console. His jaw tightened as he threw the controller which bounced off the soft carpet and landed on the floor. He then stormed towards the kitchen and I knew what he was going to do next. He threw open the top cabinets and searched the drawers.

    Rowan's hands were trembling and I realized he was about to have one of those episodes if he didn't get the meds inside his system.