She is the one by Asheslove (book recommendations for young adults txt) 📕

I came downstairs and when found him no where I relaxed.

I started making pancakes for breakfast when someone interpreted me from behind. 

'Good morning, what's in breakfast’?

I abruptly left the spatula, spin in quick motion only to saw Nicolas standing there.

'Careful' he said from his stupid grin.

'What...what are you doing here...I mean didn't you left for work?' I asked little surprised of his sudden presence; I didn't expect him to be home.

'I was in my office, I thought to wait till you wake up' he said taking a seat on dinner table and I went back on what I was doing becoming more irritated than before, why didn't he left for work.

I filled the plate with two pancakes and served him. Leaving him their typing on his phone I went back in kitchen and make two cups of coffee.

'You are coming or not.' He asked from the table, his food untouched.

'Coming' I said loudly from the kitchen and pouring the coffee in two cups came on the table.

He put his phone aside when I slide the cup of his black coffee to him and took my seat without saying a word.

'I said good Morning, You didn't greet me back' he demanded.

'Morning' I replied without looking at him munching my food.

I started eating my breakfast, my head down and eyes not leaving the plate.

'Elena'.

'Hu' I hummed without lifting my head up.

'What’s wrong with you Elena, are you ignoring me' his hoarse irritated voice came followed by the clack of spoons on plate implying he stop eating and I quickly looked at him. Frustration clearly visible on his face, his gaze pinning me down demanding answer.

'Oh, am I allowed to do that without your permission' I blurted without thinking.

'Isn't it surprising that I can't even ignore you considering everything you did'.

I was shocked as much as Nicolas when I heard myself. I myself don't know where it came from, it just automatically slipped from my tongue.

Nicolas jaw clenched, eyes hardened and fist tighten on hearing my remark. I expected a reaction from him but to my disbelief he shimmered down unclenched his fist and without saying anything further continue eating his food.

There was awkward silence on table after that so I quickly finished before him and leaving him their eating his breakfast slumped on the couch of living room watching TV releasing a relief sigh after getting away from him.

My eyes were fixed on the screen but my mind was in its own world but TV. 

I can’t forget all the pain I went with him in start. 

Even though I wanted to deny but somewhere I also believe he changed with time and showed his different side to me in these months but still I can’t forgave him for whatever he did in start to make me his, all the torture, pain and starvation he put me and after that how he made his men beat my dad when I escaped, and what he did in front of my family, that images are still fresh in my head if I rewind them like yesterday. 

If I wish I could forgave him, then even I forgave him for other things but I can’t forgave him for the day he killed Simon in front of me and after that what he did to me. He almost broke me then even though now I can’t say whether it was his intention or not. I don’t think I really even know him still after spending this long time with him, I never understand his actions and intentions. 

I felt his warm presence behind me and I stiffed. He leaned down from behind, his breath ticking my skin when his head bowed down, his hands on the sides of couch as he placed a soft kiss on my cheek from behind.

'I'll be back early today. Wear whatever you like and be ready by evening, I am going to take you out' he whispered near my ear.

'By' he finished kissing my earlobe and left.

My instinct is telling me that woman is dangerous and I wanted to tell Nicolas about her since the first day but I was afraid that telling him this would be bad idea and risk everything including the information of police and I will lose my only chance.

So after he left I thought to do some search work in his office so I could find something about what's really going on inside or find any connection or string related to her to know who exactly she is but it was locked. 

I am frightened of her not only for myself but for Nicolas too. Worst of all I don't know who she is, what connection she shares with police. She told me she wants to use me against Nicolas. The question is what does that mean, and how it will benefit her if I got away from Nicolas. 

I wanted to warn Nicolas about her but dare to because it won't take him long to get the idea that something is going on. If I would tell him then he'll ask me looking straight in my eyes and I would surely lost my words spitting everything to him and I am not in stage to risk anything.

Despite wanting to get away from him I am also worried about Nicolas. The situation I myself got into is crazily dangerous. One side its police who wants to save me and my family and other side its Nicolas enemy who are ready to do whatever they have to, to get Nicolas down. 

The battle going between them would be deadly and I can’t stop myself to feel guilty for doing this to get away from him but I also can’t took my step back when my own and loving one’s life is on line hanging on thin thread.

 It’s so pathetic of me to feel that way towards Nicolas, towards the man who kidnapped me, threatened me, abused me and held my family captive but I can’t help myself to feel like this knowing what my decision will lead him to.

It would be way much better and easy for me if he wouldn't change and so my feeling towards him. I used to hate him but now after he changed and shown this side of him, it's confusing me, whether what I think about him and doing is right or not.

At evening I took a shower and got ready before Nicolas arrives. I was standing in front of mirror and putting earrings on.