Sinfully Yours by Mirah Selim (best e reader for manga txt) 📕

Author Pov

Cyrus glanced at the smiling woman sitting in front of him before rolling his eyes. He wouldn't deny the fact that he was utterly irritated by her sugary smiles. Her smiles cringed him to no means. Yet here he was sitting in front of him because someone wasn't ready to shut her tantrums up and let him be.

After a week of taking regular medicines and a healthy routine that hazel was trying to give him, it was time to meet the psychiatrist once again as said Cyrus didn't want to come to this hospital again but Hazel pushed him till he has to give up on her persuading.

"Someone said a week ago that he wouldn't come back here then what's changed now? " He wanted to feel mocked by her but instead her voice was gentle and her words weren't mocking him instead she genuinely wanted to know the reason behind his change of heart.

"For her." He answered in simple words making the woman nodded her head.

"What more can you do for her?" Cyrus looked at the woman.

"Anything." The psychiatrist nodded her head before sighing.

"Do you love her Mr. Sylvester?" Her question caught him off guard. He stared at her for some time in silence before nodding his head.

"I do. I love her." Cyrus mumbled staring at her.

"Maybe in my own twisted way but I do love her." Dr. Ellen stared at him as he spoke about his feelings for Hazel.

"But don't you think in her mind your love is actually an ---"

" Obsession. I know." He completed her words making her chuckle lowly.

"Then don't you want to change this thought of hers? Don't you want her to consider your love as love and not anything else?" Cyrus shook his head looking at the floor.

"I am not capable of making her understand what I feel for her. No matter what I do I know I wouldn't be able to make her see my love." Dr. Ellen wrote down his another insecurity.

And it wasn't a lie. He was insecure about his own feelings for her. He knew no matter what he does to make her see his twisted love she wouldn't be able to understand him. No matter how much he try she wouldn't love him or accept his love. And that raised another insecurity in his heart. He was insecure about the thought of freeing her and watching her fall in love with someone else.

He was afraid of her being with someone who was not him.

"Love has different meanings, Mr. Sylvester. Every person has his own meaning of love. Some think love is all about rainbows and butterflies, some thinks making your partner dance on your words is love, and some people who love to live in darkness have their own meaning of love. So let me tell you Mr. Sylvester yours and Hazel's meanings of love are completely poles apart." Cyrus heard the psychiatrist attentively.

"It's fine to have your own opinions about some specific things. But you know what's wrong?" The woman leaned her body a little forward staring seriously at Cyrus who didn't change his poker face.

"Thinking and wanting the others to accept your opinions. If you want Hazel to accept your twisted love then she also wants someone who could have the same meaning of love in his mind as hers. You know Mr. Sylvester." She paused for a second leaning her back against the sofa.

"When we want someone to understand our feelings and see the truth of our emotions firstly we have to show them what they want to see. Hazel's definition is different from yours so how can you think she will accept your feelings when you're doing nothing for her to see it? Try to see love from her eyes you will know why she can't understand your twisted love."

With that, she fell silent letting her words dwell in Cyrus's head slowly. She knew he needed some time to understand what she said. Cyrus's mind went to the night when Hazel shared her thoughts about love. When she told him what love is in her eyes.

He sighed turning his eyes away from the floor to the bright window from which rays of the sun were radiating. It was a beautiful sunny day yet the sad darkness stuffed in his heart didn't let him feel the beauty of this weather. Dr. Ellen's words kept on poking his mind like they wanted him to understand the hidden meaning behind them and somehow he did but again his insecurities overpowered his mind.

"So Mr. Sylvester let's talk about the question I asked you last time." She skillfully changed the topic as she knew she can't let him think about her words too much otherwise his psychotic mind will turn her words into something else.

Cyrus blinked coming out of his daze as he pulled his eyes away from the window and looked at the psychiatrist who gave him a small smile.

"What do you think about yourself?" He exhaled a sharp breath shaking his head.

"Don't know." The woman smiled.

"Why?" Cyrus shrugged off.

"Don't know. I never thought about myself much." Dr. Ellen chuckled shaking her head.

" Wrong. You did think about yourself a lot but the problem is you always thought about yourself the way others defined you as. You never for once tried to see yourself as what you want." Cyrus scoffed.

"Aren't you becoming too much cozy with me Ms. Therapist? Didn't Creed tell you how dangerous I can be if I don't like something?" Dr. Ellen wouldn't lie the dark look his eyes shot her indeed scared her. But she still didn't miss the hidden agenda behind his threat.

She smiled at him even though her heart was beating crazily in dread watching how viciously he was looking at her. She wrote down another thing she observed in him. He doesn't want to face the truth. He always tries to find ways to run away from reality.

Just like now, he used his threatening tone just to shut her up as he knew his intimidating aura can scare anyone. He wasn't simply being an ass he was just trying to scare her so she could stop throwing a bitter reality at his face. The reality he knows yet he tries his best to run away from.