Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) 📕

crooked and filled with something near devastation. Skye never wanted to see her mom sad; that’s the soul reason for everything she puts up with.
Leah looked into the bright eyes of her daughter, having no idea of just how much she has endured, and smiled as she fought back the urge to cry. Those were the beautiful eyes that never ceased to resemble Skye’s fathers perfectly. Leah felt a sour pang in her heart just thinking of the man who had changed her life forever. “Skye, the truth is that your dad was never right for me. Everyone else was right about him, I was always wrong. I created this life for you by my own ignorance.” Her voice caught and she struggled to keep her voice up. “You’re here because of something beyond my control, and I just wish you could have the life you deserve; a life without all this confusion and separation.” She whispered.
Skye embraced Leah in a hug and snuggled into her. “Keep going, I need to know.” She said softly.
“Sweetie, your father, he—Skye, your father wasn’t who I thought he was. He wasn’t what I had always pictured my first relationship to be like. He was dark, mean, and entirely difficult. He’s the reason you’re in this sad life, the life I have failed to bring up for you. This life for you, it wasn’t what I had anytime imagined.” Leah said as she rubbed her hands gently over her daughter’s scarred arms.
“I wasn’t planned, was I? Mom, when did you have me?” Skye asked between a quiet sob. “You two were never married, you never got a divorce did you? He left before I was born,” she let the painful words drift into the air, filling her heart with sadness. She pulled herself away from her mom and looked at Leah with sorrow.
“No sweetie, you weren’t exactly planned; but that doesn’t matter, because now I have a beautiful daughter here with me. Maybe I was too young but that certainly is not the point.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
“What?” Skye muttered in disbelief.
“Your father wasn’t quite the guy I should have ever gotten involved with. He was slime, only in the relationship for one thing; and that thing flipped our worlds upside down.”
“No, no, no. And I’m the outcome?” Skye slapped her hands on the couch.
“Yes.” A tear trickled down Leah’s cheek and she sighed. She hated having to tell her daughter the one thing that she had tried so hard to keep away from her. She didn’t want Skye to have to deal with the news that she may never see her father—the father that never wanted her.
Skye let a stray tear fall and closed her eyes. She tried telling herself that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t the reason for her feeling all of the regret, that she wasn’t the reason that her biological father left Leah; maybe he was slime, but even so, Skye couldn’t put it past her that she was the reason for her own mother’s broken heart. Suddenly she thought of how the very thing that Bryan had almost done with her was the same very thing that brought her into the world; an unwanted and forced abuse that caused so much more to happen than planned. We practically have something in common, Mom. You just won’t ever get to know about it.

She thought with grief.
Leah pulled her cold pale daughter in and wrapped her arms around her, trying to fight the grief. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, sweetheart. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to resist his strength and force. I never wanted what he did to me, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t want you.” She whispered into Skye’s ear.
“No, it’s okay. I’m just glad that I know now. He hurt you and left, and he doesn’t matter to me anymore. He didn’t deserve to be with the best women in the world. I love you so much, Mom. Remember that and don’t forget it, whatever happens to me.” Skye cried as she held onto her fragile mom’s body desperately. She never took Leah for granted. She knows that any moment spent with her mom could be the last moment she ever would get with her.
“Sweetie, you’re making it sound like you’ll never see me again. What’s wrong?” Leah looked at her with compassion.
“Nothing’s wrong, everything is just the way it should be.” Everything other than my life.

She stayed grasping onto the one thing she knew wouldn’t harm her, feeling overwhelming regret eat away at her. Why have I let things get this out of control? How can I let Johnny and Bryan run my life, they shouldn’t have this control over me. I need to find a way out before the only one I love suffers.

“Are you sure?”
Skye sighed and looked up into the weary gray eyes of her beautiful mother. “I promise.” The second she said it she regretted it. She had never broken a promise before, and that definitely was a promise that was already utterly broken.
“Skye, I want you to be honest with me, how are things really

going with Bryan? He’s not hurting you, is he?” Leah asked sternly.
Skye would have dropped the mug of tea had she been holding it. Her voice was lost deep down inside her stomach and she raised her eyebrows at her mom. “Things are going fine, he’s a great guy. Maybe we don’t always get along, but he’s not going to hurt me, Mom.” She choked on her own words, fighting the urge to cringe. She hated the lies, secrecy, and pain. She needs freedom. “Actually, we’re meeting up in town tonight and I should probably go get ready.” She added clearly.
Leah narrowed her eyebrows and rubbed Skye’s arms. “Okay, as long as you’re really good with him. Skye, I just want to make sure you don’t get in what I got in. Maybe my outcome has gone well; but you don’t need that, there is so much better out there for you. You just have to find it.” Maybe I have.

Skye thought within her own dream. Leah smiled at her daughter and kissed her forehead. “Have fun, sweetie.”
Skye faked a smile and jumped to her feet. Now I’ve really done it, I don’t have plans.

“Thanks, I will.” She ducked out of the living room and walked up to her room, passing Leah and Johnny’s room carefully. Johnny wasn’t home, but she still always had the urge to scurry past it, blocking any chances of not enjoying what could happen if she didn’t.
She hurried around to her room and dropped to her bed, heaving a sigh. She rubbed her hands over her face. “What am I supposed to do now?” She whispered thoughtfully. A moment later her cell started ringing and she shot up with fear. She wasn’t ready to talk to Bryan, even if he wasn’t drunk. She scrambled off her bed and over to the desk in the corner. She sniffled any remaining tears and flipped the cell open without checking. “What do you want?” She answered slightly irritated, imagining the voice on the other end to be Bryan’s.
A subtle chuckle crackled on the other end and a gasp escaped Skye’s lips. “Oh, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?” Jules’ melodious voice called through the phone.
“No, I just wasn’t expecting it to be you

.” Skye retorted. She wasn’t expecting it in the slightest. Jules hadn’t called her and she hadn’t seen him in three days. Hearing his voice again was the greatest feeling she could desire.
“Sorry to disappoint you, stool girl, but I’m what you got.” He said playfully. Skye could feel

his laughter against her hands just as the night before, and she heaved a sigh. “I thought that you didn’t know how

to use the phone.” She stated similar to a question, feeling her negative feelings instantly slip away. Jules’ voice had the same affect on her every time. He was absolutely warming and beautiful. She could picture him sprawled out on a lounge chair, as he sported jeans and a fitting T-shirt, with the breathtaking grin plastered on his face.
“I figured it out, you’re worth it.” He chuckled almost to himself.
“You’re ridiculous.” She breathed, sitting herself down on the soft carpeted floor.
Jules shuffled on the other end and Skye could swear that she heard him laugh. “Good. I like you—I mean…that

.”
Skye almost gasped but she knew he was only playing with her and she swallowed the urge. He just can’t get enough.

She felt overwhelming warmth kiss her body and she smiled as she thought about Jules. “Okay, now I know you’re planning something; what is it?” She asked as she chuckled under her breath.
“Me? Planning something? Girl, I run on being spontaneous.”
“Okay than, Mr. Spontaneous, what do you need?”
“It’s not me who needs something, it’s you. I’m sure you need some fresh air, when was the last time you left the house?”
Skye pondered the question, even though she knew the answer entirely. “The last time I saw you was the last time I went out.” She frowned at the thought of it really being so long. She wanted to leave but every time she tried Johnny or Leah would tell her to stay in, trying to keep her from getting hurt again. Johnny knew exactly how she had gotten hurt again though, and he knew it had nothing to do with her leaving the house; he only wanted to keep her inside so that he could keep an eye on her, watching to make sure she didn’t tell anyone about Maria or his and Skye’s little “misunderstanding”.
She almost thought that she could hear Jules’ jaw drop in shock. “Three days? Skye you need to get out of that house. Would you please meet me at the park, over near the tree house? I promise that you won’t regret it.” Jules said kindly.
“Did you just ask me to meet you at the tree house?” She asked in disbelief.
Jules laughed uncomfortably, his careful shy side perking its way out. “Yeah, I did.”
“The answer is yes. Yes I will meet you there.” She agreed in total confidence. She didn’t care how mad Johnny would be if he found out; she didn’t even care about anything anymore. All she wanted to do was enjoy the best of time that she could, even if that meant risking her own days left.
“Good. I’ll be waiting.” Click.

The connection cut off and Skye could tell that he meant business. He was already there, she could feel it. How did he know I would say yes? He really must want to be friends. I think I will let him have that chance.

She thought with glee. Finally.

Skye jumped up from the bed, the pain she would sometimes endure was numbed, just like everything went numb— in a good way— when she thought about Jules. He meant so much