The Crystal 3 by Jones M (uplifting books for women .txt) π
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- Author: Jones M
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Zane's P.O.V
"A month had passed since the biggest celebrity scandal of all scandals. Emery Davis, once known as the most hated person in the Ordinary Brothers' fandom, interrupted an Ordinary Brothers' concert and proved her innocence when she exposed the crimes that Bianca had committed in a video. The world was shocked. If that isn't enough, Zane's former girlfriend was immediately arrested in front of many OBers."
"Zane--"
"Immediately after, Emery Davis exposed bandmates Zane Marsh and Harry Parker as her previous high school bullies and for also abusing her on the previous night. She even had video evidence to support the latter."
"Stop it, mate!"
"Since then, the media has been riveting about them, and everyone is wondering who they truly are. It does not help that the two and the rest of their bandmates have disappeared without a trace. Their management team barely has any idea of their whereabouts, and this makes us question what will happen. Could it be that the band is breaking up? Are the speculations true about the rest of the bandmates abusing Emery while she was on tour with them? Was Selena even involved--"
"I told you to stop it!" Logan yelled as he switched off the TV, glaring at me. I was immediately infuriated. I stood up from the couch, sending him my own glare.
"Leave me alone, Logan!" I shouted at him, reaching for the remote that was on his hand. I went to take it, but he moved his hand away before I could.
"Zane, it's time to get out," he said, the glare turning into a look of concern. I sighed.
"Just leave me alone," I replied, going back to sit on the couch.
"I don't plan on letting that happen, buddy," Logan said, moving towards the windows. He opened the curtains, allowing the sunlight to enter the room. I narrowed my eyes on instinct, having gotten used to the once-barely-lit room. I looked through the windows and noticed it was still morning.
"Zane, look. I'm worried about you," he said, moving to sit on the armrest of the couch. "It's been a month. You haven't gone out, and you have barely eaten anything; you don't look like your usual self."
"How can I go back to being that awful person?" I asked Logan, glaring at him. "How can I go back to being that bastard? We were enjoying life while Emery was suffering, and I was ignorant about her. I was a major douchebag, Logan! How can everything go back to normal after knowing what I've done?"
"Zane, stop beating yourself up! Look. Yes, you messed up big time, but Emery is getting the help she needs."
"But I caused that to happen to her."
"We all did!" Logan shouted at me. "Whatever happened has already happened. You cannot change the past, but you can try to focus on it in a way that can help you get a peaceful future."
I tried to apologize to Emery. Oh, I tried.
I had been going to visit Emery at the new hospital in Crystalia. All the time, my requests of seeing her had been rejected. I believed I had made a stupid mistake of revealing my name because the doctors had stated I would ruin her road to recovery.
So I chose to stay near her ward without anyone knowing. Sometimes I heard her shout, cry and scream in emotional pain, and that tore my heart. I was stuck between leaving and staying there. I even wanted to barge into her room and make her feel better.
"They still won't let me in to see her," I announced.
"They won't let any of us in," he stated. Logan did not bother asking what I meant, and I was internally shocked. His words had also made me realize that I was not the only one who had been going to try to see Emery.
"Zane, we made the biggest of all mistakes, but all we can do is just wait. We wait for her to recover and then we could try to apologize, again, for everything we did to her."
Logan then laughed. I turned to face him, noticing that it was a pained laugh.
"I wonder how we are going to fix this, Zane."
I remained silent, agreeing with his words. The mess we were in was unexpectedly bigger than the high school incidents.
"Me too, Logan. Me too."
***********************************************************************************************
After a lot of persuading words from Logan, I found myself walking out of the castle. He even had me take a shower and change my clothes because I apparently stunk.
The talk I had with Logan was weird, considering it was the first time I spoke to him in a month.
The guys were still angry with Harry and me after they had found out what we did to Emery. They avoided talking to us, and even though it hurt, I didn't bother talking to the guys. I believed we deserved it.
I had no idea of what Harry was doing, having also not talked to him in the past month. My time was spent moping around and hating myself for what I did to Emery. I barely ate or slept. I also spent my time watching the TV to see what was happening on earth, crying for Emery and also sitting on the floor near her ward in the hospital.
The conversation I had with Logan had me thinking that he and the rest might have forgiven me, but I didn't want to believe that, especially after having ruined the band.
I brought my mind back to my surroundings. Crystalia had changed in the past month. After the death of all erwiches, the magical borders had been expanded to the distance halfway towards the mountains. Erboons were still present, and no one wanted to deal with them.
The newly acquired space had been turned into a small forest. The Queen enchanted the area to get rid of dangerous animals before chanting a spell to quickly grow the forest.
On my way towards it, I spotted Selena. She had her head down as she was walking towards the castle.
Just like me, she was a mess. Her skin had lost a bit of color, and she had lost some weight.
"Selena?" I called out to her. She stopped in her tracks, raising her head to face me. I noticed her eyes had lost their usual brightness; they weren't as lively as they used to be and I knew she was feeling as bad as I was about Emery.
Or maybe, it was something else...
"Hi Zane," she said reluctantly with a hoarse voice. I didn't even try to smile at her. In fact, I was surprised she was talking to me.
"How... how have you been?" I had no idea of how to approach her.
Selena took her time to answer.
I recalled seeing celebrity news about Selena and Justin. It was recent that Selena found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her. I had no idea if she was still feeling hurt. I wanted to know, but that seemed so private. I wanted to talk to her, but I was afraid she would lash at me for the shit I did.
"I don't know. Great. How have you been?" Selena replied.
The conversation was turning out awkward. Just like her, I took my time to respond.
"Bad," I replied honestly. We remained quiet, staring at each other. Selena soon broke the spell as she began walking away from me.
"I'm sorry about Justin," I said quietly. I had a feeling she knew that I knew. Selena stopped, having heard me. She just nodded without turning to face me before resuming her walk towards the castle.
With a sad smile towards her direction, I turned and continued walking towards the new forest. I walked past the hardwood trees, heading towards nowhere. I had no idea of how long I walked until I came to a stop at a river in front of me. I looked around, noticing that the area seemed abandoned.
Crystalia's castle seemed to be the height of my index finger from where I stood.
I looked around, seeking to confirm I was alone. I soon came to that conclusion, hearing nothing but the sounds of birds chirping and the flowing river. It should have brought me a sense of calm, but it didn't. It was too quiet, and my thoughts about Emery were amplified. The voices from all the awful memories were louder than ever.
I couldn't take it, and I immediately collapsed on my knees before crying in my hands.
What had I done?
In all my life, I never thought I would ever hate myself as much as then. I never thought I would turn out to be such a horrible person.
I was an asshole. I was a douchebag.
My mind went back to the memory of seeing Emery almost killing herself. I was glad I stopped her from making such a huge mistake. If she had died, I would have no idea of what to do with myself. My world would have stopped without her in it.
I had placed so much suffering on Emery. I bullied her in high school. I ruined her life. I made a lot of people become wary of trusting her. I pushed her to suicide. She was admitted to a hospital.
I might as well have made her crazy!
I continued crying.
Everything was my fault. I was the one to blame.
I remembered how mean I was to Emery. I was angry with myself for letting Bianca manipulate me. I hated myself for falling in love with the fake image she had created when I could have gone after Emery.
How many times were the warning signs there to warn me that she was not good? How many times did Emery try to prove her innocence? How many times did I insult her as I turned my back on her?
The image of Emery crying came to my mind, and my heart broke. How many times had I made her cry? How many times had I ruined her life?
Why was the universe so unfair? She was a good girl, someone who had dreams, whereas I... I was an asshole. I ruined her. I should have gone through what she had suffered. Emery did not deserve the hell I brought onto her. It should have befallen on me.
Memories of me insulting and yelling at Emery came to mind again. I had hurt her so much. I... I didn't deserve to live.
The pain was too much. The memories were too much. The weight on my conscience was heavy. Voices were inside my head, asking me in hatred why I was enjoying life when I should have been suffering.
I looked at the river in front of me. The voices increased in volume at that precise moment.
Without thinking, I jumped in.
There was a loud splash as I felt the sudden change in atmosphere. I closed my eyes, and the voices were silent. I only heard the sounds of the river flowing above me. I waited and waited for the pain and awful memories to end, but nothing happened. My heart still hurt, and I realized the pain could not end. In fact, it became physical when I started gasping for air. I moved around, foolishly trying to escape the feeling, but nothing happened.
I couldn't handle it any further, and so I teleported out of the river and landed on the ground beside it.
I coughed out water as a chilling breeze brushed past me. I landed flat on my front, not caring about the exploding pain on my chin, and began crying again.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't find it in me to kill myself. That was one thing I could do to make Emery's life more bearable, and I chickened out.
"Zane!" Erick's voice had me still for a moment. My cries came to a stop. His rushed footsteps became louder as he came towards me. I immediately got up from the ground and turned to face him.
He looked pale, just like Selena. Moreover, he had an angry and
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