The Variations by Jones M (iphone ebook reader TXT) 📕

'Oh no,' she thought. She froze for a moment, feeling her cheeks light in embarrassment. Just like that, her arousal had been dampened. 

'How can he see me?'

She suddenly realized where she was, and more specifically, what she had been doing. She couldn't believe she had let herself get carried away by all that she had seen. She couldn't even believe she had coerced herself into doing it in the first place.

Chris moved to push the girl away from him, his gaze determined.

"Hey!" the woman yelled in protest. Kate's eyes widened, and without a word, she quickly took off the hallway.

"Is someone there?" Kate heard the girl ask, but she couldn't focus on that. She was cursing herself as she ran down the stairs. She skipped a step, and that had her almost tripping on the floor. 

To her surprise, she heard footsteps approaching her.

"Kate?" Chris shouted from behind her in disbelief. For some reason, there was an edge of panic in his voice.

She couldn't look at him. Her humiliation knew no levels. She was already at the door, and she pulled it open before making a run out of the house.

Chris' steps had faltered behind her, and she was glad he wasn't following her.

"Kate!" she heard him call out to her again, but she didn't stop to face him. Tears had already started blocking her vision, and she quickly wiped them off so that she could see where she was running.

In fact, she wondered what she would do if she were to see Chris again.

Kate returned to her dorm forty minutes later with her heart thudding in her chest. She was still reeling from what had occurred at Chris' place.

'Oh, crap. He saw me!' she thought, worry lines appearing on her face. She was very ashamed. However, that thought was pushed back when she remembered what she had seen.

Chris had been with another girl, and Kate was there to witness what he did with her. She remembered how he had touched her and how he let her touch him. Jealousy coursed through her veins, but anger and sadness were the emotions that reigned.

Tears soon brimmed in Kate's eyes.

'No, Kate!'  she thought to herself, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't control the immense sorrow that overcame her at that moment. She had been holding back on her way to her dorm, and now that she was back in it, she could release it all.

She made quick work of entering her bedroom. As soon as she had closed it, she ran to her bed where she collapsed in tears.

Marie was surprised by the sobs that escaped her lips. They were loud, and they echoed how she was feeling. She couldn't believe how she was reacting after seeing Chris with another person. It had been her choice to do so. But instead of clearing things up, it made them more complicated. It should have been easy to get over the feelings she had for him, but it wasn't. 

'At least now you know how you feel,' she thought, but it did not help matters. She had known when she had heard the sounds coming from Chris' bedroom. There was no doubt about her crush on her former high school classmate. But after what she had seen, how would she get over it? How could things return to normal, especially after he had caught her?

Kate continued to cry for the hours that followed. Her sadness did not leave, and it frustrated her. Reliving the memory of Chris with another girl was all it took for her to break down in tears again. And it also angered her.

It made her wonder, 'Why him?' Of all the people she could develop feelings for, why did her heart choose him? How could she have fallen for him?

More questions started in Kate's mind, but the answer became clear as the minutes passed. It was because of all the time they had spent together. Throughout that time, he had shown her all the things that made him him. And she had grown to like that about him.

'What was I thinking?' Marie wondered as she rubbed her temples. She started regretting ever spying on him in bed with another girl. Now things were bound to be uncomfortable and awkward. 

In spite of all that, Kate was strangely glad she did it. She now knew that there could be nothing between her and Chris. The door for that opportunity was closed if it were ever there, and she had to move forward with her life.

Kate's mind returned to the scene in his bedroom. She remembered the moans and groans, the touches shared, and the way Chris made the girl scream in pleasure for him.

She was jealous, and it all made her want to scream in frustration. Tears brimmed in her eyes once again when she heard a knock on the door.

'It's probably Gwen,' she thought, sighing as she headed to the bathroom to freshen up. No way was she going to reveal to her roommate how sad she currently felt. She would pry, and Kate was not in the mood for it.

After cleaning up her face, she went to the door. Kate sighed as she wiped her cheeks for any residual water before opening the door.

To her shock, Chris stood at the entrance. He stared back at her with a look she couldn't decipher.

Kate didn't wait to close the door on his face. But then, something stopped the motion.

"Kate," Chris called out. She looked down, noticing his shoe-covered foot.

'Damn it!' she thought.

"Go away," she voiced out.

"We need to talk," he said.

Tears started blocking Marie's vision all over again. She didn't want to face Chris. He reminded her of the events of the morning, and she was not sure she could handle herself in front of him. He would ruin her plans of getting over him.

"There is nothing to talk about," she replied, hoping her voice did not betray her emotions.

"You closing the door on me proves otherwise," he stated. Kate wasn't sure if she detected a smile in his voice. Either way, it proved to anger her.

"I'm busy, Chris," she stated. When she heard no reply, she thought he had left. Her form seemed to relax on the door.

But then he pushed the door open. Kate had been taken off-guard, and she turned to close it. However, Chris had already made his way into her dorm.

She looked at him, and that was when she noticed his appearance. His hair looked unkempt, and his eyes looked a bit red. Something seemed to be disturbing him, and Kate could not understand what it was.

It disturbed her when she realized she wanted to make things better for him.

"Look. We don't need to talk right now," Marie dived into the subject he was sure to spring up. "We can forget that ever happened."

"Kate--" 

"I saw nothing, Chris, so there is no need to be awkward around each other."

"But we do need to talk about it."

"Chris, why the hell do you want to talk about it?" Kate asked, trying hard to control the anger she felt in his presence. "Look. It was a mistake on my part. I thought you weren't in, but then I saw clothes on the floor. I went to look for you, but I saw you were preoccupied with someone else. I am so ashamed right now. I'm sorry."

Chris remained quiet for a while.

"Are you okay?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows. The concern in his eyes had Kate tearing up again. She took a deep breath, trying to quell the urge to cry all over again.

"I'm fine," she sighed, looking away from him. "I just hope I didn't ruin that moment with your girlfriend."

"Um, what?" Chris asked, causing Kate to look at him in confusion.

"Your girlfriend," she said. "The person who was with you just this morning?"

"Oh!" a look of recognition passed over his face. "Yeah. I remember her. But no, she's not my girlfriend."

Kate was still confused.

"She's just someone I found at a party last night..." Chris trailed off, his look turning into one of a person caught doing something wrong.

'He went to a party without me?' she thought. She felt sad, but she shrugged the emotion off.

"It doesn't matter," Kate tried to smile it off, even though the accidental reveal was hurting her.

"Kate, I'm sorry--"

"Chris, it doesn't matter. You have a life, and so you don't have to tell me everything you do. Besides, I've sworn off parties ever since..."

A moment of silence that lasted a few seconds passed over them.

"So, what are you up to?" Chris asked.

"I have plans with Gwen today," Kate lied. "She's about to come from her tutoring session any minute."

"Oh," Chris frowned. "Well, okay. How about tomorrow?"

"Even tomorrow. It's been a while since we've hung out, you know?"

"Oh. Okay. I understand," he said, turning to face the door with a frown. Kate wanted to make him feel better, but she remembered what she had seen that morning. She also remembered what he was making her go through. Being near him wouldn't help, and so she needed time away from him.

"Kate, are you crying?" he said, furrowing his eyebrows. Kate noticed her vision was going blurry again.

'Oh crap,' she thought, struggling hard not to bawl in front of Chris.

"No," she lied again with a small smile. "I just got something in my eye. This dorm needs to be dusted."

"See you Monday?" he asked. Kate nodded with a smile that was hard to muster. "Okay."

Chris seemed to stand there for a while as if he was waiting for something. He soon turned to the door, opening it before closing it behind him.

Kate rushed to lock the door behind her. She slid to the floor, and she allowed her tears to escape. She hugged her knees to her chest, looking down as she cried. A sob escaped from her lips, and it was followed by another.

'Calm down, Kate!' her mind shouted at her. She couldn't, and so she continued tearing up on the floor.

"Hey, Ana," she heard Chris' voice from the door, and her head shot upright in shock. "I'm sorry if I am disturbing you right now. I need your help."

'No. Please, no. Tell me he did not hear me.'

Kate remained silent as she waited for Chris to speak.

"I've fucked up. I've fucked up so badly, sis. I don't know how I can fix..." he said, his voice getting lower and lower. Kate did not understand why, but it soon dawned on her that he was leaving her dorm.

'What the--' Kate was confused. Even in her state of sadness, Kate knew it was her fault that things were so tense between her and Chris. How could it have been his fault?

'Oh crap,' she thought, feeling another round of embarrassment at the knowledge that he was talking to his sister about what had happened hours ago. 

'What kind of guy does that?'

She should have never gone to his room. He wouldn't have seen her watching him, and the air between them wouldn't be uncomfortable. He wasn't the one who made things awkward;