How my life changed.... by Melissa (christmas read aloud txt) 📕

restaurant opposite the chemist to use the loo. I want to be alone so I wait until the women comes out. Then I get in, locking the door behind me. I read the introduction follow them through. I put the apparition on top of the cistern and wait. My mind is numb. I don’t want to face the results. With one eye covered with my hand and the other one open, I check.
Oh no! im pregnant. What am I going to do? What about Joshua?
I push the door open, I go to the sink where I wash my hands and face. I pull the door and charge out. I head straight for the main doors, nearly knocking a 3 year old toddler, luckily he didn’t fall. I walk quickly wanting to get to the hotel as soon as possible. I feel like everyone knows, im so embarrassed. I cross the main road. I find myself running. The people who are too slow, I crash into them, I just don’t care-anymore.
My heart is beating fast.
I end up at the hotel after half an hour, in tears I run upstairs, Joshua sees me crying follows me upstairs trying to talk to me but I pretend I don’t hear. It seems like the end of the world. I felt Joshua grab my arm and I am yanked back in front of him. Looking red and upset.
‘are you okay?’ he asks .
I drop myself on the floor, hugging myself into a ball.
He picks me up and takes me into the room, hit’s the door shut with his left leg.
The pregnancy test was in my hand wrapped into a tissue. He takes it off me and unwraps it. His pauses and looks up at me feeling scared.
‘ you are pregnant’
I begin to rock, front and back, front and back.
I just nod, looking down at my foot.
‘I’ll make and appointment today for an abortion.’
‘what if I want the baby’
‘no, you must be joking, no way’
We just sit there in silence.
The room got hotter and hotter, I felt dizzy. It was difficult to breath. I run out.
‘ come here!.’ he raises his voice and runs behind me.
I place one foot on the road. The lorry got closer and closer, I take another step, suddenly I feel someone grab both of my arms and I am pulled back on the pavement. It was Joshua.
‘ are you mad?’ he screams- eyes watery-about to cry.
There was a bench, we both stubble towards it. Leaning against his shoulder, I started to cry. I want to die.

Morning came too quick. Joshua asked if he could be off today as he is very busy and they accepted. He drove me to the hospital-Hartford.
He pulls the car to a suitable place and holds my hand.
‘im always here to help you’
Knowing that he was there for me helped me. He turned away to look out of the window and I knew he was wiping away tears. My eyes are red as I have been crying for ages and ages. My mouth is dry as a plant awaiting for water. Joshua is waiting for me in the car. I went to see the counsellor on my own. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.
The young lady asked my what the problem was and at first I found it difficult to talk but the it was as if something inside me broke open and all the fear came tumbling out.
‘what do you want to do?’
‘I’ve got to have an abortion’
‘Okay’
She gave me an scan appointment for next week Tuesday at 1:00pm in the afternoon. She told me that after the scan appointment, if I still don’t change my mind I should get another appointment for the abortion.
By now I am fifteen weeks pregnant. I lay there, Joshua gripping my hand tightly, my stomach still as flat as an A4 paper. The midwife ran the scanner over my jelly-coated stomach. At first I couldn’t make out the baby but the midwife helped me pick out the babies head, spinal cord and other part of its body.
‘what is the gender of the baby?’ Joshua asks.
The midwife presses the scanner harder on my stomach.
‘ouch’ I squeak
‘sorry’
‘are you okay?’ Joshua asks stroking my hair.
‘yes’ I nod twice.
‘the baby is a girl.’ the midwife announces.
I’m carrying a little baby girl inside me.
‘it’s a girl.’ Joshua says happily and then all of a sudden his mood changes to upset and he gazes at the baby picture celataped on the wall. Before we get out I ask for the midwife to arrange me another appointment for abortion. She arranges it for next week Thursday at 3:00pm in the afternoon. Deep deep down, I think I do want to have the baby but on the other hand I don’t have enough money to buy the babies equipments like clothing, nappies, creams……. Much more but I don’t have time to list you everything here or it’ll be mid night.
For the couple days, I stay in bed thinking about the abortion day. Joshua came and visited me nearly everyday after work. I search on Google ’young and pregnant’ I read so much about how they feel and it nearly made me cry. I decide to get that thing out of me so I can live my life.

The appointment day comes quickly. It feels like its only been two days. As Joshua is working, I go to the hospital on my own. The day before we had a long, long talk. I take the taxi straight off. When I enter the waiting room, I get the nerves, inside me is like there’s a volcano which is about to explode any minute. I start to sweat. The lady next to me smells like she hasn’t had a bath for years. Grows.
‘Lora Johnson’ the blond doctor shouts as she enters the room in her white costume.
I swallow hard. Im scared.
Here I am 17 and pregnant. Joshua is only 20 and I messed up his and my own life, its so unbelievable, I feel like the blame. If we just had protected ‘S’ then all this wouldn’t of happen at all.
‘here’ I wave my arm and follow her leaving a large amount of gap between each other.
As I get closer and closer to the room, I feel like my heart is melting like an ice cream melting in a hot summer day.
I knock on the door, my hands shaking.
‘come in’ it was a female voice.
She smirks and asks me to sit down on the chair opposite her desk.
‘so you want to have an abortion?’ she ask in a kind way which makes me feel much more confident and comfortable.
‘y-e-s’ I mumble and look down at my sweaty hands at the same time. This is so embarrassing.
‘are you sure, no one is forcing you to right?’ she takes few notes on the computer.
‘course not, this is my decision.’ I lie.
She asks me few more questions and asks me to undress while she sets up. I get half-undresses, only taking of my shoes and jacket.
‘come on, if you want this abortion you need to undress your bottom wear, there’s no need to get shy.’ I watch her opening the cupboard and installing her hands inside the white gloves.
‘okay’ I unzip my trousers and pull it down. I slowly lay on the bed, forcing my self to look down at my body, I have goose bumps all over. She places a white tissue paper below my stomach, which covers below and my legs.
‘ready?’
‘yes’ I close my eyes.
Unexpectedly Joshua barges in the room, all red, sweaty, looking like he’s been in a rush or some kind of thing. He shots me a full smile and I do the same.
‘I want the baby, come on lets go.’ he hugs me.
The nurse raises her tattooed eyebrows very high.
‘ we want the baby’ Joshua speaks for me. Is this a dream or what, he was the one who made me an appointment for abortion not me he agreed with me to get rid of the baby, but now he says he wants the baby. I feel happy that he wants it too and cares.
He gets out and I get dresses. ‘sorry for disturbing you’ I express to the nurse.
‘ no problem, get this’ she hands me a booklet about babies health and all those stuff.
‘thank you’ I take the booklet and run to the car park, seeing Joshua waiting outside the car, arms folded, when he sees me coming he runs up to me, hands wide open and hugs me so tight that my lungs are about to pop out, twirling me around like a tornado.
‘ouch my stomach.’ I shout.
‘oops sorry, are you okay.’ he feels my stomach.
‘yes.’ I nod.
We get in the car.
‘im sorry for making you go through all these, deep deep down I did really want the baby, im going to make you the happiest girl ever-actually a mother. ‘ he kisses me gently on my red full lips.
‘ Im sorry too, I messed up your life at a very early age.’ I play with my finger nails.
‘shut up, you actually made my life, I had no life before, I worked and worked in a small shity hotel nothing else, that’s not life.’ he kisses me on my hand. I am glad that he didn’t blank me out of his life.
He does a surprise to me and takes me to a huge restaurant. I was starving. We order our food, he buys chicken and rice. I eventually choose fries and chicken burger. Joshua promises me that he will buy me ice cream at the end.
‘I’ll buy a house for us three to live.’ he throws the chicken from side to side with his tongue. I guess it’s hot.
‘calm down, your going to burn your mouth.’ I giggle, holding myself so hard not to laugh.
Easter and summer flew by.
My stomach got bigger and bigger. Joshua was busy with the house whilst I was in shopping nearly everyday, buying XL clothes for myself, I already bought quite a bit for the baby in the summer sale. I and Joshua are planning to name our daughter ‘Julie’ nice name right? We think so. My life is going on a new direction.

I am sleeping, Joshua lying next to me with his top off, nights are hot now a days. All of a sudden I feel a cramp-pain, starts from my back, and quickly circles my stomach. I feel a rush of some hot substance between my legs. I grasped Joshua’s arm.
‘the baby is coming.’ I shout squeezing his arm tight.
‘oh sugar’ he throws himself out of bed.
He takes me to the nearest hospital even though I said I wanted my baby in Hartford Hospital as I gave the babies details.
The pain was incredible. The nurse settles me into a wheelchair. The doctor comes in the room. The pain got worse and worse. I lay on the bed.
‘Mmmmmmmmmmm, OUCH’ I scream, over and over again.
‘you can do it Lora.’ Joshua strokes me hair, kissing my forehead.
With my sharp finger nails digging into the palm of Joshua’s hand, and biting onto my bottom lip and I push.
‘push, push’
‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’
‘again push’
Suddenly I