Married To My Bully by Sakshi C (comprehension books txt) 📕

I felt his heated gaze stroking my body when I came out of the bathroom donning an off-shoulder orange spring top and a pair of rugged ankle-length black jeans. He went inside the bathroom to take a shower. I combed my hair, put on some makeup, and wore sparkly dangles.  

Just when I thought I am all set to head out my phone whined indicating low battery. And at that moment I felt like smacking myself for not putting it on the charge. I had only half an hour give and take. So I started rooting through my bag for the charger but couldn't find it. My eyes swept over the length of the room in search of the charger but to no avail. I was growing frustrated. I looked for it under the couch, on the table, behind the curtains.   

Lastly, I went for the drawers that were located on Alex's side. I had to get done with my exploration before he came out. Disappointment marred my expression when I pulled it out. There were only a handful of medicines in his drawer. Nothing else. I picked a pill strip out of curiosity. I had seen him taking these pills every day but could never muster the courage to ask him what were they for.

My eyes bulged out in shock when I read the name. Alex has been taking anti-depressants. A foreign pain tore through my heart at the thought of him fighting his demons all alone. What led him to it. Tears pricked my eyes but I blinked them away. Not being able to recognize other medicines, I clicked pictures of them and pushed the cabinet shut before Alex could catch me red-handed. 

Just a second later, Alex strolled out, dressed in a grey polo shirt that clung to his bulging muscles like a second skin and dark blue jeans.

We were avoiding seeing each other in the eye since yesterday, much less talking. 

My phone beeped again notifying a message from Aldrich.

"Aldrich is here," I informed him. His eyes snapped on me but he didn't respond and quickly turned his eyes away from me. I had gotten used to his stoic expression but that didn't mean I had grown immune to it. However, this time his indifference didn't hurt me as much as it did in previous times. Maybe what I learned today about him was more painful than his disregarding of me. 

Aldrich took us to the market today. The day was bright and beautiful, in deep contrast to my spirit that was left in tatters. I bought a few souvenirs for my friends and family. Alex spent most of his time in the car, attending some virtual meeting with his business partners. I noticed he spent most of his waking hours working. Maybe his work had become his distraction. His escape. But was it enough. For how long can one escape from their own self? He needed salvation more than an escape. And I wanted to become his salvation. What? Did I really think that? His salvation.

But the real question was would he let me?               

I cut short our excursion as I found it impossible to drag it any further. 

"Hey," he was typing something on his phone when I got in the car and flashed him a sweet smile. He looked at me and then past me probably for Aldrich. 

" We postponed the rest of our excursion for tomorrow," I answered his unspoken question. 

"Why?" he asked looking me in the eyes. Breath caught in my throat when our eyes locked. He is beautiful. like an angel. Like a broken angel. 

"Ummmm....I am having a little headache," I lied. Thankfully, he didn't ask any further questions and put the car in motion. 

Alex dropped me at the hotel and left for somewhere, giving me an opportune time to do a little research on his medicines. 

And that is what I did. I entered the room, closed the door, and fished out my MacBook. Yup, I am one of those people who don't go anywhere without their laptops. My heart was thudding painfully against my ribcage when I was typing in his medicine's name. 

And rightfully so as another wave of shock hit me when I pored over the results. 

PTSD. He was being medicated for PTSD? 

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. 

My posture stiffened and my hands turned cold. That was too much to process.  

I didn't know much about PTSD but one thing that disorder occurs in those who have gone through something terrifying in their past. 

I skimmed through different articles on PTSD, gathering as much knowledge as I possibly could. I read the symptoms and realized some of them were present in Alex. Nightmares, agitation, this all could be seen in him. So he indeed was suffering from PTSD. 

I palmed my mouth as tears burned my eyes. The mystery around him had always attracted me but I had no idea what he was hiding could be this perturbing and painful. I didn't stop the unbidden tears that were eager to travel down my cheeks. 

His silvery orbs that resembled an unshackled cloud in thunderstorm mirrored the inconquerable swirl in the sea was in reality a thick layer of fog concealing so many secrets from the world.

Why can't he open up to me? What do I do to make him trust me? So many questions were whirling in my head.

And a question that took precedence over any other question. What triggered PTSD in him? What so horrible had happened in his past that was still haunting him. I had seen fear in his eyes the night when he had that nightmare. 

I know he wouldn't let me but I made a silent promise to myself that I would help him get over his trauma. I would stand by him whenever he would need a shoulder to cry on or arms to rely on. But for that to happen, I needed to know about his past. And the event that brought him to this stage.

I made a mental note to have a talk with Mom as soon as we get back home.

Alex came back after a couple hours. I couldn't deduce for the life of me where had he been in this foreign land. 

It took every ounce of me to stifle the urge of pulling him in my arms. He rounded to his side of the bed and sat on it while holding his head in his hands.