Remember me by Cindy Young (good books to read for young adults txt) 📕

laugh at me and push me around: "Look, doesn’t the fat-baby roll wonderful? No wonder, indeed almost resembles a ball. "

More laughter.

My face is a lake.

Why do they do that?

What have I done that they are like this to me?

And he, he is the crush of girl, with his beautiful blue eyes staring at me… icy.

Yes, ice-blue eyes.

I can’t help it, I adore him despite his evilness.

He is good looking, smart, has famous parents, rich and is very charming and all, only not to me. But he’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I want and will want.

I know that it is his mask, this charming existence, but he masters it perfectly.

His interior is evil and corrupt, I know that, I can feel it everyday.

I can feel it in class, during breaks, on the way back home.

He only calls me “fat-baby". Therefore his friends call me “fat-baby” too. I'm not fat at all.

I shouldn’t gain this name.

I'm normal, I'm thinner than Charlotte, like many other girls, but he simply doesn’t like me.

I'm a little chubby, but that's normal! **

 

But he reiterates that I’m fat. Over and over, again and again till I believed that I’m fat. That was the time when I started to slim.

 

**I found friends, very good friends, they gave me something, they called it laxative, and it helped me getting thinner.

Yesterday I met Logan at the way to my locker, he saw me and bullied me, but he didn’t call me fat-baby for three years! That’s amazing. I can’t really believe it.

 

My parents don’t like my new friends, but they helped me a lot!

How could they not be real friends?

I’m popular, more than ever and I’m very, very good at school, but I’m not a nerd or a geek. And I’ve got super-duper wonderful friends. Ok, sometimes they act crazy and freaky but they are my friends.

Sometimes they are strange. It’s like, they live in another dimension. They use lemons and candles and needles. But I don’t. They use frightening things and they take drugs. I don’t.

They told me that one day, I’d be like them too. But I don’t think so.’’

 

In some cases my friends have been imprisoned, but they came out again.

There were many dangerous and less dangerous drugs.

I had no idea; I threw myself into it later. Before that there was the incident with Sam and with Logan.

 

**”Hey fat-baby, we should go together to the prom!” Sam says, he is one of my friends. He smells awful and he seems to be high.

And yes, he didn’t stop calling me fat-baby. For fun I think. I’m not fat anymore. I am thin. Fairly thin.

And I am also quite popular, even more popular than Chantal, Logan’s ex-girlfriend. It is rumoured that he stopped being Chantal’s boyfriend because of me, but that’s not true. I hoped it is true, but it isn’t. He had a few new girlfriends and they are called Fiona, Celine, Elle, Andrea and Clara. And every girl he had was thinner than me, which means more diet coke for me.

“Fat-baby! Answer me!” Sam whispers. Instinctively I move a little bit away.

Then I shake my head: “No, I don’t want to go with you to the prom, okay? It’s my night and I simply don’t want to go with you.” – “Oh, come on. You want to go with me. I can see it in your eyes.”

“No! I don’t want to, Sam!”

He squeezes me against the wall so I can’t get away. But I don’t want to stay here. He acts freaky. I want to run far away.

Now he is even closer, his breath smells atrocious.

Ugh.

And he wants to get closer but something clicks in my head and I push him as hard as I can without understanding what I’m doing.

Sam collapses; gasps and I look down at him in astonishment.

What?

What happened?

When I realize that something is wrong, I bow down to him.

I can see many red veins in his eyes and his head turns red too.

He still gasps.

Then he noticed me and grabs me by the throat.

No!

Where is the air?

I stifle.

Help, I'm suffocating!

 

I kick around me.

Where are the others? They were here a few minutes ago!

And why is no one hearing my cries?

 

Air.

I need air.

 

I kick one last time as it crunches.

He lets go.

I hit him.

 

Oh God.

I hit him.

 

I slump down beside him.

I take long deep breath.

Probably I hit a sensitive place. I listen.

I hope that he doesn’t want to grab me again.

Wait.

It whistles softly.

And then…

 

Something is missing.

The gasp noise, it’s gone.

He’s not breathing anymore.

 

Oh God.

 

Finally, I pull myself together and run to the infirmary.

It is so far away. I force myself to keep running, even though everything is blurring.

Finally I get to the door but I can’t open it, I am too weak. I call for the nurse: “Hey! Help.”

The door opens and a kind woman comes running towards me.

“What’s going on dear?” she asks.

“Sam.” I breathe out, “Sam, he’s dead.”

Then everything turns black.

 

As I wake up again and it’s not like in the books I read and what I heard.

I can see everything clearly and hear every little sound.

My parents are not here. Where are they? What time is it? No, what is the date? Where am I?

I turn to the side, so I can get up.

I pull a few odd hoses from my body. A device next to me starts to beep. It doesn’t interest me. I go to the window with the huge white curtains. I tear it up and look outside.

Okay, hospital.

Why am I in the hospital?

The door opens. A doctor.

"Miss Daniels, your sister wants to see you!"

"Of course," I mutter, "Sure."

The doctor leaves.

 

Silence.

What happened?

I can’t really remember. Only fragments.

It’s hard.

Sam.

Sam.

Samuel Brandt.        

Something happened to him.

 

My head begins to ache.

Just when it becomes unbearable, the door burst open again.

"Leeeex!" Cries my sister. "Oh my God, you were almost dead. This ass. "

Confused, I ask: "Sarah, I can’t remember. Please help me. Please, tell me what happened."

She nods at me and leads me to the bed: "Better sit down." She takes a deep breath and begins to tell me:

“It was like that: Sam had something to tell you, your friends moved away because he asked them. But maybe he didn’t have enough courage to tell and maybe that’s why he took drugs.

He oppressed you. Maybe you didn’t say, what he wanted to hear, because he started to choke you, very hard. You tried to stop him and you kicked him in his stomach and a few ribs broke. Because of the broken ribs and an overdose, well, his death was caused by that. You ran to the nurse and you cried for help. Strangely you know that he died. And then you collapsed.”

“Sarah, I really want to remember what happened, but I just can’t. There is a hole in my mind. But I’ve got a question. If his ribs weren’t broken, would he still be alive now?”

I’m so sorry, but yes, he would be alive. But he was an asshole because he choked you. He took drugs, so that he couldn’t feel that his ribs were broken and as you kicked him, you took him his air. His ribs burst his lung.”

What a twist of fate. He wanted to suffocate me, instead I let him suffocate.

 

Sam.

Sam.

I can’t remember anything. But something echoes in my head over and over again: “I can see it in your eyes.”

Whatever that means.

“The doctors said that your brain has a natural protective function. If you can handle what happened to you then you’ll be able to remember again in a few days, they hope.”

**

 

After that I wasn’t living actually. Like a movie, my life played in front of my eyes without doing anything. And at the school? I became even more popular. I became a heroine, because I tried to help Sam, despite the fact that he choked me. That was why I attracted attention and Logan noticed me. And a few days later:

 

 

**

I’m at my locker. I take out my books like a robot. And put some books back inside. And suddenly: “Hey!”

It’s a male voice and it’s loud.

I close the locker. Still staring at my books. Probably it’s again someone who wants to go with me on the prom. I think, one of nerds. I slowly turn around and want to say something negative: “I told you already, no, how long…”

But guess what? It’s Logan. And he grins.

Does he want to bully me? Or push me around?

I look into his eyes, those ice-blue eyes; I can’t do anything against them.

“Hey, your name is Al, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” my friends call me Al. Only my sister calls me Lex. I prefer Lex, but only my sister may call me Lex. My parents don’t.

“So, go with me. To the prom.”

“What? I mean, sorry, can you say that again?”

“You heard me, go to the prom with me.” Arrogant like always.

Wow, he asked me, well he ordered to go on a date with him? This isn’t a joke.

“Shall I wait any longer for your answer, or what? I have to do. And I could go with another girl too. Make up your mind!”

“O…Ok,” I stutter. He isn’t really nice. But he is good looking and he is gorgeous. And I adore him.

“Tomorrow evening. A date because I want to know how you are.”

“Eh…Sure.”**

 

The next day I actually went with him on a date, I was so naive and I was head over heels in love with him. I got his long-awaited positive attention.

 

** I put on a skirt and high-heeled boots, Logan’s going to pick me up. I am really nervous.

I think I look pretty in that skirt. It’s a bit too tight and small, but it looks good.

It rings. Punctual to the second.

Logan.

I run to the front door, my mum already opened it: "Hey, good to see you! You're Logan, who carries my daughter on her first date. Oh god! Al, you never told me that he is so sweet!“

"Mum!", I exclaim in horror, red in the face, “I go now!”

She gives me a fat smack on my cheek, Logan looks disgusted: “Have fun, Sweetie! See you! And don’t be outside later than tomorrow morning!”

I get redder, if it’s possible. She beckons and my sister appears and beckons, too. Logan smiles plastic, then he says to me: "Is your family always so annoying?"

My goodness, no! Wait a minute; he thinks that they are annoying?

“Yeah, you know, sometimes they are really tiring.”

No they are not!!! But of course I don’t tell him.

 

I'm with Logan on a date! And he drives a really expensive car. When I sit, I admire the soft leather and the many screens inside. He drives to a fancy restaurant and he even ordered on his name!

“Cooper”, he says.

"Yes, for two people, right?", says the waitress and winks.

He smiles charmingly, "Exactly, for a romantic dinner."

It’s almost like he wants to eat with her and not with me. I clear my throat.

It seems like as if she doesn’t even recognize me.

She waves lasciviously with a finger and we’ve got to follow her, she wiggles really hard with her hip, she wears a very short dress.

I watch Logan; he freezes for a moment motionless behind her. Then he steps forward hastily.

What does she have that I don’t have.

I sigh sadly; probably it’s her divine figure.

We order, I order a salad while he orders seafood.

The waitress asks: "And what do you want to drink? Or other things you want?"

She looks at him.

“Water please”, I grumble. She turns and smiles at me campy and turns back: “And for you, Mister?”

"For me, a red wine, the best one you have." He winks at her. He has to drive later! The waitress laughs and leaves with swinging hips. And he watches her leaving.

"Um, how is it going? I mean in school?" I try to have a conversation with him.

He moans: "Please Do not remind me, although I’m pretty good, my