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just knew she would run out on me, but I still had hope.

 

Mrs. Woods handed the paper back to me. I hold it in my hand without looking down to it.

 

 

''I can't think of anything, i'm sorry. But hopefully someone else can help you.'' she replies.

 

She was back to her regular self after that awkward answer, but I still felt the stunned look on her face linger as I looked to her.

 

I nod my head in response.

 

My hands reaching to cover my mouth from the trembling form it took.

 

 

I felt like crying, but I had to hold on.

 

Maybe she was just as shocked as I was, or she knew something and didn't want to tell me.

 

 

I would keep her secret if she didn't want to tell me. I can trust she'll tell me when she's ready.

 

But it doesn't solve the fact that she may be holding something back.

 

 

''I'll be taking the trash out.'' she replied, reaching for the bag again.

 

 

She leaves and I however take the paper and place it back into my purse.

 

I still felt upset, I didn't have a lead or someone to predict the information.

 

I was really hoping Mrs. Woods would know something. But it looks like i'll have to keep searching for dad with someone else's help.

 

 

It'll be longer or sooner than I think.

 

 

I hover over my purse to close it as I heard heels click through the hallway. The open pathway near the front door came into a shadow with Elle.

 

She brushed past with her dog in her hands. I remember earlier how he was licking me and trying to bite the faux fur carpet on the ground.

 

 

I smiled as the dog looked my way.

 

I walk to the left towards the front door where Elle was holding Bongo.

 

 

''Elle, I think it's time I let you know the news now.'' I said.

 

She turns with a smile as she sets down her dog. His black and white splotched fur resembling the black and white checkerboard tile floor leading from the kitchen to the front door.

 

 

''I wanted to tell you earlier, that I go into FARELLE.'' I annonuced.

 

 

The surprise and shock in her face was amazing. I've been waiting to tell her.

 

She smiled and hugged me tightly as I returned a grin.

 

 

It was great. I got the job and met the required details for FARELLE.

 

By the time work starts up again. i'll have enough money to pay for rent.

 

And i'll be able to sustain myself.

 

 

''Nicki, i'm so happy for you. You'll get to work with me and everything.'' she said excited.

 

I felt my eyes water for a second. I was glad to be spending more time with Elle.

 

It's been so long since college, and it'll be great for us to hang out again.

 

 

I've already got comfortable with her friends during the party tonight, it'll be better when I go into work knowing more about Elle.

 

Rikki and Marybella were so nice to me when I said I would be working for FARELLE.

 

I know I wanted to wait until Elle was the first to hear.

 

But I couldn't resist.

 

 

''Well this is great, we'll work closely and i'll teach you everything I know.'' Elle replied.

 

''Thanks, it really means a lot. I get to see you more often when I start in August.'' I reply.

 

''Great, i'll see you sometime before-, or maybe at Marybella's wedding?'' Elle asked.

 

 

She pulled her hands into mine as we swing it side to side.

 

''Yes, Bella talked about adding me to the roster as long as i'm in New York City.'' I say.

 

''That's great, we'll talk more about FARELLE then.'' she replied.

 

 

''You don't know how much this makes me feel so happy.'' I answered.

 

''I'm glad, but right now I have to say goodbye. I have to a bunch of dog food to buy for Bongo, since he's offcially mine now.'' Elle replied.

 

''Oh, go ahead, I don't want to stop you.'' I said, gesturing her to leave.

 

''Goodbye.'' she said.

 

 

I waved bye as Bongo trails behind her. The glass design of the window up front parted as she exited.

 

I saw the pink tint of her dress shine in the dark as she passed.

 

 

I hear footsteps near behind me.

 

Jacob was in sight.

 

 

''Hey did Elle leave already?'' he asked, looking to his phone.

 

''Yes, she just left now.'' I replied.

 

''Okay, good night.'' he replied.

 

 

He opened the door and left as I watched his blue dress shirt reflect in the dark night, from the porch lights shining down near the cars parked out front.

 

I smiled widely and rubbed my arms, as I watched them leave together.

 

I head back into the kitchen.

  

 

I walk over and take my purse from the island table and throw it over my forearm.

 

''Goodbye Mrs. Woods, i'm leaving.'' I shouted.

 

 

I didn't know if she heard me or not, but  i'm going.

 

 

I head down the porch steps onto the huge driveway where I parked my car.

 

 

Chapter Seventeen: 400 Lux

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

4 years ago

 

 

I walked into the classroom where the professor looked as I entered. Several other students stared too.

 

It was common for this to happen. 

 

I clentched my fist as I make the embarassing walk to my seat, it was about 10 steps up.

 

 

Students continued to stare as I ease through to my seat. I sit down next to a girl subconsciously watching me.

 

I felt my face start to get hot.

 

 

It wasn't my first time being late to class. In fact, I barely went.

 

And luckily the girl who sat one seat to the right from me got to see it all in action.

 

 

''You're late.'' she whispers to me.

 

''I know, I am most of the time.'' I whispered back.

 

 

The professor shushes us as he continued the lecture. The topic of the semester was haikiu's, poems and basically post modern literature.

 

 

It bored me to death, I was sure to change degrees next year.

 

If I even make it past my first year of college.

 

 

My first week was kind of rough, during orientation. But now the real fun begins.

 

And I knew I would get into class late with my schedule.

 

 

It took about 2 buses to get up here on the rural town side of Rosewood. Mainly exhausting.

 

 

My days of school would go regular as always.

 

 I'd fight with mom before I left uptown to catch the bus. Then i'd take the quiet ride up reviewing syllabuses to save my life.

 

And i'll pass by a couple of people I had to fight to get to the admission's office. But of course now going to admissions was no longer needed.

 

 

But then i'd show up to my Journalism class late, then sit down through lectures for other classes too.

 

And that was pretty much it.

 

 

''Alright take out a piece of paper and start taking notes. There will be an exam at the end of september finishing off the introduction to Journalism these past few weeks. The notes won't be said again or even pointed out, just follow along as I read from the board.'' Professor Lancaster said.

 

 

I slump back into the hard wood chair. I sighed.

 

''It's only September 1st.'' I whispered.

 

 

That was just peachy. Something I knew would hit me in the head.

 

An exam.

 

 

''What a great way to spend my birthday taking an exam on something i'll know nothing about just weeks from now.'' I silently said to myself.

 

 

The same girl I saw eyeing me from earlier leans back in her chair.

 

''When's your birthday?'' she asks.

 

''September 29.'' I replied softly.

 

''Well, happy early birthday, in case I don't come to class during that week of the exam.'' she says. 

 

 

There was a little laughter after in her voice.

 

I couldn't help but smile a little. It felt nice to have someone in class have a little sense of humor.

 

 

Everyone during their first week couldn't take a joke.

 

I had come up with so many just weeks before orientation.

 

 

It was serious business and classes through everyone else's eyes, and they all seemed better than mw.

 

 

They're talent and looks, the ways girls thought it was cute to dumb themselves down to get a guy's attention.

 

And guys thought it was fun to just skip class and hang out near the hot girls they'd nail later in the year.

 

 

It was a crazy first experience.

 

 

But it seemed better, when the girl who sat a seat to the right eased up the tension.

 

She leans back from her notes as I write too.

 

 

''My name's Nicki.'' she asked.

 

 

I looked to her with a small smile forming. I could tell I was going to like her, she was kinda like me.

 

Unprententious and full of hope. It was like looking at myself in the mirror from the past.

 

 

''Elle, freshman.'' I replied rolling my eyes.

 

''I'm a junior.'' she replied.

 

I laughed a little, it was hard to say I made friends often.

 

 

But it seemed easier just now.

 

 

I turn back to my notes as the professor continues. She taps my arm as I pull away from my paper.

 

 

''A little fact you should know about me, I have anxiety.'' she says.

 

''A little fact about me, i'm complicated.'' I replied.

 

''Me too.'' she replied with a smile.

 

 --

 

After a long class period I grab my backpack.

 

Students ahead leave as I run down the small stairs.

 

 

''Hey!'' called out a voice.

 

I turn around to see Nicki. I smlied as I looked to her.

 

''You got a roommate? Cause I don't.'' she asks.

 

 

Other students rush in making noise as I try to exit, she follows behind.

 

''What do you say?'' she asks, as we exit the room.

 

 

I turn right, into the hallways adjusting my backpack behind me.

 

''I don't know, i'll think about it.'' I replied.

 

''Was that a yes?'' she asked trailing beside me.

 

''No.'' I replied.

 

 

''Is that a no?'' she replied.

 

''No.'' I reply.

 

 

I walked away smiling a little bit. It took a while to understand the way I responded and how I thought.

 

I just hoped Nicki would get it.

 

I could feel the happy tension follow behind me. Nicki might have been the first classmate I ever had that was so nice to me.

 

 

No one even bothered to look my way during orientation.

 

But today, I might've made a friend.

 

 

It seemed weird and delusional to make friends. I was always forced into thinking friends were a good thing.

 

But with the way I acted and who I am personally, it didn't make much sense till now.

 

Chapter Eighteen: Bad Blood

 

   

''I can't believe the wedding is today, you're gonna look so funny in your dress.'' Nicki implies.

 

''Hey, don't say that. I'm gonna look fine. Plus Rita already has my measurements sewed. So i'm good for this afternoon.'' I replied.

 

 

I turn my head back from facing her and place my hands on my belly.

 

It's already been 2 months and it seemed like my baby was growing bigger each day.

 

 

A small breeze comes our way as we lay underneath the tree looking at the sky.

 

 

It was quite beautiful here

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