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- Author: jewel crotan
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“I’m going to go back to the party now,” he said. “Wait for a couple of minutes, and then follow me.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
As soon as he was gone, I took in a deep breath, seemingly breathing for the first time. What the fuck had just happened? It had been the best orgasm of my life. With any of my ex-boyfriends, they’d had to touch me just right, using different positions or pressure. And even then it wasn’t always a guarantee that I could get there.
And yet Cole had made me come so fast.
It was all kinds of fucked up.
And the worst part was, I liked it.
I took another deep breath and made myself count to one hundred slowly. It wasted time, giving myself a buffer just in case anyone had seen Cole come out of the closet, and it gave me a chance to think about something other than what had just happened.
I ran my hands over my dress and smoothed my hair, and then opened the door and returned to the party.
I ran my eyes over the smartly dressed men and women, looking for Cole.
But I didn’t see him anywhere.
And then someone stepped into my line of vision.
A ghost from my past. Someone I’d never wanted to see again. Someone who’d shown up in my nightmares, over and over again, causing me sleepless nights for years.
“Hi, Avery,” Jeffrey Adams said, grinning. “I thought I saw you here. How are you?”
He looked exactly the same – same chipped front tooth, same weak chin, same bags under the eyes. He was older now, of course, but his face was the same, his eyes still dark and soulless.
“I’m fine,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even.
I went to move past him, but he followed me. “You here with Cole?”
“Yes.” I was moving through the party now, weaving through the party-goers, looking around wildly for Cole.
“Just visiting?”
“I’m working for him now.”
“Good for you,” he said. “I heard something about that.”
I stopped and turned and looked at him. “How?”
He shrugged. “You know, things get around.”
I gave him a tight smile. “I need to find Cole. We’ll be leaving soon.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think what?”
“I don’t think you’ll be leaving soon.” He pointed over to the side of the room, and I squinted. I could make out Cole, deep in conversation with Kalia. What the hell was she doing here?
“They’re fucking,” Jeffrey said. “They were fucking from the beginning, when we first hired her, before I left the company.”
My mouth had gone dry, and my body had gone numb. So numb that it took me a second to realize Jeffrey had grabbed my forearm, his nails digging into my flesh. I looked down. His nails were perfectly manicured, immaculately clean and filed.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wrenching out of his grasp. “But I should go.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said jovially. He took a sip of the drink he was holding. “Not unless you want me to tell Cole about that summer.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. That summer. The summer I wanted to forget about, my biggest secret, my biggest shame. I’d rather go back to Gordon, rather have everyone I knew what it was like to grow up in my house, rather have what Cole and I had just done in the coatroom plastered on the front page of every tabloid in the city than have anyone find out about that summer and what had happened.
“Relax,” Jeffrey said. “Don’t look so panicked, Avery. I’m not going to tell him. You just have to do one thing for me.”
“What?” I whispered.
And then he leaned in and began to talk.
“Yes. And with your brother’s past record, we –”
“Stepbrother,” I interrupted him. “And what record?”
“Your brother’s criminal record. The breaking and entering, the burglary…” He trailed off. “You did know about that, didn’t you?”
“Of course,” I lied. Cole had a criminal record? Since when? And why hadn’t he told me about it? “But I can assure you I’m fine.” As much as I wanted to ask more questions about Cole’s record, I knew it would just bring more problems. I didn’t owe the police anything. They were here trying to make it seem like Cole had done something nefarious to me, when in reality, he’d saved me.
“Okay,” Officer Marks said, shrugging like it was nothing to him. But I could see right through his casual attitude. I’d dealt with enough social workers and authority figures to know they sometimes acted like they didn’t care if you told them something in an effort to get you to tell them something.
Officer Marks reached into his pocket and pulled out his card, handed it to me. “Here’s my card,” he said. “Call me if anything changes.”
“Thanks,” I said, taking it. “But it won’t.”
He opened the door to the conference room and I followed him back through and down the hallway. When we got back to the lobby, Cole was talking to the other officer in a low voice. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could tell from his tone he was annoyed.
“All set?” Cole asked when he saw us.
“Yes,” I said, making sure to keep my voice firm just in case the cops got any ideas about hanging around and asking more questions.
But fortunately, they didn’t. Instead, hey thanked us for our time and then left.
As soon as they were gone, Cole turned to the receptionist, who had been standing there pretending not to be eavesdropping as she answered calls.
“Hold my calls, Jacinda,” Cole said.
“Even – ”
“Yes, Jacinda.”
Cole disappeared back through the heavy oak doors into the hallway, and I followed him. But before we could get to his office, he turned around.
“Go home, Avery.”
I swallowed. “Home?”
“Back to my apartment.”
Relief flooded through me at the idea that he still wanted me to stay with him. But I tamped it down. I needed to stay away from him, especially after what had just happened – not only had we hooked up in his office, but now cops had been sniffing around. Things were getting out of control. “I don’t think that’s a good –”
“Jesus, Avery!” he said. “Knock off your shit. My father is obviously planning something, and you need to stay safe until we figure out what it is.”
“And you think I’m safe with you?”
“And you think you’re not?” He gave me an expectant look, daring me to contradict him. And the thing was, I couldn’t. I didn’t think Cole was going to hurt me. I wasn’t sure why, since he’d obviously just been screwing with me back in his office, but still, deep down, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
“I’m not sure.”
“Avery. Go. Back. To. My. Apartment.”
And then he turned around and walked down the hall, leaving me staring after him.
***
I did what he said. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.
You do have a choice. You always have a choice. You could have left home a while ago if you’d really wanted to, but you stayed because of your mom. You don’t have to go to Cole’s, you could find a job and an apartment and a roommate. You could go to a homeless shelter if you really needed to.
The thoughts swirled around my head, forming a cloud of confusion that kept leading me back to the same conclusion – that I wanted to be here with Cole. It made no sense, but it was the truth.
The doorman in the lobby of Cole’s building was expecting me, and I used the key Cole had left with him to let myself in. The apartment felt different now, quieter, and I dropped my purse onto the leather ottoman in the foyer and made my way to the kitchen.
I opened the refrigerator, suddenly starving.It was stocked with freshly cut fruits and vegetables, organic deli meats, fresh-pressed juices, and plastic containers of salad. I wrinkled my nose. Since when had Cole become such a healthy eater?
I abandoned the fridge and headed for the panty, where I was able to rustle up a box of organic chocolate cookies. They definitely weren’t Oreos, but they’d have to do. I poured myself a glass of almond milk and settled myself onto the couch.
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