Redeeming Love by Shikha Mishra (red queen free ebook .TXT) 📕

My blurry sight stops on the door of the room.

Does he know I am here? How will he react? Would he be happy?

My hand stops in the mid air, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and then open it. I knocked. I wait for any answer. Every second feels like one hour. Not getting any response, I open the door. I take baby steps inside. 

It took me a few minutes to get my eyes adjusted to the dark room. I still, my breath hitches, my blurry eyes widen. 

Vihaan is seated on the floor in front of me, with his back on the wall, his eyes shocked, lips slightly parted. 

“Di-disha." 

I gulp the lump formed in my neck. He stands up.

“Di-disha." And the very next second I am engulfed in a bear hug.

“Disha, are you really here? Are you….are you really standing here….in our room, in front of me." I hug him back while nodding my head. The words stuck in my throat, not wanting to leave my throat.

I didn't know that I was missing him that much. I had always gotten affected by his vulnerability and still am. I am sure if that day he would have stayed for a few more minutes, I would have definitely started crying in front of him, breaking the facade of apathetic. 

Suddenly he stumbles on the ground, taking me with him. I find myself sitting on his lap, still hugging him, as we sit on the floor.

He starts pecking my face and neck. A giggle escapes my lips. My eyes fall on the ashtray having lots of cigarette buds, the food on the table untouched and a bottle of beer rolling around.

Suddenly he stops his movement completely. He moves his face in front of me, so close that any move from him or my side will end up brushing our lips. 

“You shouldn't be here. You asked me to get away from your life. You coming here will ruin everything. I was able to not look for you for more than a week and I am sure I can continue like that….but you coming here has ruined everything." He is saying that but his hands don't think the same. His eyes are saying something else.

I tilt my head and say “Should I go?" I blink my eyes and give him an innocent look.

“No." His answer comes the very next second. I giggle.

“Were you drinking and smoking?" I ask, knowing fully well that he has.

“I am sorry…." I open my mouth to ask him to answer in yes and no but stop as I realise he is apologising for something else. “I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry….. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that….." his eyes get teary, mine follows suit “I regret everything. I reg-regret doing it. This regret is eating me, suffocating me, mercilessly….. I-I want this pain to stop. I want this regret to leave me alone."

I hug him tightly, caressing his back and head simultaneously as he keeps mumbling that he is sorry. 

“Vihaan." I call him but he doesn't stop saying that he is sorry. So I try to part myself from him, but fail to do so.

“Vihaan. Vihaan. Stop saying sorry. Let's eat food. I am hungry." He stops mumbling. Suddenly he stands up, my hand on his neck tightens. My legs around his waist tightens. As he walks I get nostalgic. 

He used to carry me alot.

I put my head on his shoulder, my muscles loosened up as I calmed my body down. 

“Vihaan, what do you think is better for both of us?" I mumble. Half of the mind is hoping that he doesn't listen while the other half wants the contrary. 

“Should I be honest?" I nod my head. As he sits on the edge of the bed, I make myself comfortable on his lap. My hand on his shoulders.

“I want us to be together…. I know you think my love is toxic, and I can't fight with you on that…. because that's how my love is, but that doesn't make it right what I did with us. And I regret doing that. I……. I will not force you to be with me, but I can assure you that nothing like that will happen again, if you come into my life again. But my love will always be like this and…..it can never change. I was possessive, I am possessive and I will be in the near future. I was protective, I am protective and I will be the same in future… I wanted you to all myself and I still want you to all myself but….there can be some exceptions."

I blink, one time, two times and many more, not understanding what to say.

Is it good that he blunty confessed that his love is like this only? But he promised that he would never do something like that.

“You don't have to say anything. Whatever you decide I will accept. But first let's eat something. You were hungry, right?" I nod my head.

He's acting so mature even after consuming that much of intoxicants.

I come out of my internal turmoil as a morsel is pushed towards my lips. My lips part, he puts the morsel inside my mouth. His eyes darken. I slightly move in consciousness.

“Won't you feed me?" He says with his head slightly tilted. I gulp down the morsel. I open my mouth to give him a snarky remark but shut it down instantly.

Let's just listen to him.

I make a bite and push my hand towards his lips. My lips part as I feel his tongue moving around my fingers. My hold on his shirt tightens as I feel his wet tongue moving all over my fingers.

“Vi-vihaan."

I pull my hand out of his mouth but his teeth get hold of my middle finger before they can leave the confines of his mouth. My eyes widened as he pulled my middle finger in and sucked it hard. My other fingers wet and cold from his earlier torcher. 

I push him away and stand on my feet. My cheeks flushed.

“Vihaan, what were you doing?" 

“Eating." Saying that he also stands up, directly in front of me. His hands come around me as he puts his head on my shoulder.

Clingy.

“Vihaan, what are we doing?" I mumble.

Why are we acting like a couple? Why am I getting so comfortable around him? And why am I so ha…….

“Doing what our heart desires."