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now. Sometimes I wonder if Emily still thinks Mom can hear her in heaven? Is that why she’s relentless with her playing? She’s not seven years old anymore!”

Goosebumps popped up on Jen’s skin. “She can’t believe that now.” A kaleidoscope of family memories invaded her mind, finally bringing her to the prior night’s conversation at Maguire’s.

“Maybe we’re all carrying around a piece of the past,” she said softly. “You, me, Em, our brothers. Maybe it doesn’t go away, and we just deal with it the best we can.”

A long, low whistle came through the phone. “Quite the philosopher so early in the morning.”

Jen chuckled. “I try.” But did she? For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t sure.

“Mike and I don’t worry about you anymore. You figured out what you wanted and never looked back.”

Maybe, where Doug was concerned. “Thanks, but it was a no-brainer. Finance and I are a natural fit.”

“Don’t I know it! Oh…Bobby’s calling me. See you later.”

A natural fit, Jen thought, as she disconnected. For the first time in her adult life, she wondered if her career was enough. Her family? Friends? Her choral group? She’d never questioned her choices. But since Doug had reappeared only a week ago, he’d turned her life into one big question mark.

Chapter 6

 

Friday night with Jen and her friends wasn’t enough. His nightly phone calls to her were good, but not good enough either. He wanted more. He needed more. On Saturday morning, Doug started a small pot of coffee and glanced at his calendar. Every box was filling up. The new play required not only rehearsals but meetings with Jake about publicity and community sponsors. He had to prepare for the new semester at BU. He had ideas for his advanced students that he wanted to implement himself. And of course, a revision to Straight from the Heart. All important goals, but not more important than his first priority: Jen.

He poured the coffee into his mug and sipped. He wanted to build his relationship with her. Built it slowly, with trust. Court her! He smiled, first, at his old-fashioned word choice, and second, because he realized that “courting” was essentially what the hero of his novel had decided to do while searching for his ending. Not too surprising when he’d based the heroine on Jen.

Picking up his cell, he pressed her number.

“Hey, Doug. I’m just out of the shower. Can I call you back?”

Shower? Images of a glorious, naked Jen bombarded him, with her long legs, soft breasts—but he bit his tongue. “Absolutely. I’ll be…ah…waiting.” Dreaming.

But just as Friday nights and nightly calls weren’t enough, dreaming wasn’t enough either. He answered the phone on the first ring. “It’s Saturday,” he said. “Let’s spend the day together. Wherever you want to go. Whatever you want to do. I can pick you up in thirty minutes.”

Silence. Then, “I’m sorry, Doug. The twins are back, and Emily’s got her concert tonight. Little Brianna’s coming home today too. I’m really busy…and—and…well you know the routine with my family. Everything’s happening at once.”

“I’ll take you and Emily to the concert tonight,” he responded.

“You haven’t heard anything I just said.”

“I’m ignoring it. While I’d really like to spend the entire day with you, I’m also trying to show some understanding. Don’t I get points for that?”

He heard a reluctant laugh and smiled. Humor. Humor always worked.

“You’d need a ticket for tonight. The concert’s at Symphony Hall, a really big deal, and Emily…well, she might be as highly strung as her violin. Uh…that’s a family joke…sort of.”

“Very funny. I’m glad you shared it. And don’t be sorry when you realize what you said.” Sharing a family joke was a good sign—almost like in the old days.

“I’m sorry already. See you at five o’clock. At the house.”

“I’ll be there.”

He hung up and wanted to cheer. Better than sharing that joke, she’d just invited him to her most precious place. A place he hadn’t entered in five years. Her family’s home. That was the upside. The downside? How would he be received?

Shrugging, he searched for the Symphony Hall website. He couldn’t control how Jen’s siblings felt about him reappearing, but he could buy a last-minute ticket to Emily’s concert.

##

Doug immediately spotted the limousine as he approached the house on Beacon Street. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Mike Brennan would make sure Emily’s special night was special in all ways. And safe, too. He had to admit the guy had taken on a load of responsibility when he’d married his wife.

Doug had liked the man when they’d first met. After learning Doug was a writer, Mike had extended his hand, saying “Welcome to my world, Doug, where you either have what it takes or you don’t.”

“Thanks. I intend to make my own kind of touchdowns.”

He recalled that conversation and stood a little taller as he approached the door. Whatever his reception, Jen was worth it.

The door swung wide before he could knock. And there stood Jennifer Grace Delaney. Stunning. Long sparkly earrings, a black dress that hugged her figure and strappy, high-heeled sandals. The woman had legs. Did she ever. He took it all in with a glance and then focused on her eyes. Her violet eyes shone, then darkened as she looked up at him.

“You clean up pretty well, Doug….”

His reservations melted as he burst into laughter. “Glad you approve. I did learn a little something in New York.”

“Well, come in, come in.” She stepped back, and he walked into familiar territory—with a twist. No one matched his memories in the small crowd that had gathered. Two identical-looking young men approached him, same blonde hair, green eyes, same walk and body movement. Dressed up for a night out.

“There’s no way I can distinguish between you two,” Doug said, extending his hand. “But it’s amazing to see the grown-up version of the boys I once knew.”

“We’re not done growing yet, I hope,” said one, his voice light. “I’m Brian.”

“But we’re old enough now to figure things out.” This brother’s tone was more serious. “I’m Andy. And, if you haven’t noticed, we’re both going with you and Jen to the concert.”

“We couldn’t disappoint Emily,” added his brother, with a meaningful glance back at his twin.

The air had definitely cooled. He had walked into the proverbial lion’s den.

“For crying out loud,” said Jen. “Cut the drama. Doug’s an old friend. Just a friend. So relax and focus on your little sister.”

“But we…”

“You were sad…”

“I can take care of myself, boys,” said Jen. “Stick to baseball.”

“Mike’s not liking…”

She turned to Doug then. “If you want to change your mind about going, I’ll understand. Maybe there’s such a thing as too much family!”

“I wish mine were more like yours.” His unplanned response surprised him. And must have surprised Jen, from the wide-eyed look on her face.

“I never knew that.”

“I didn’t either. Until this minute. But I have a great sister.”

She flashed a warm smile. “I remember. Sisters are the best. And speaking of…” She nodded toward the hallway.

Emily appeared. White blouse, long black skirt. Violin case in her hand. “We need to go,” she said quietly. “Lisa and Mike are with the baby. And Bobby won’t leave their side. So let’s just go.”

“You’re the boss tonight,” said Jen, her arm going around the girl.

“I always think Mozart is my boss or Mendelson but then…when I play, I think maybe it’s me who’s the boss. You know, it’s complicated.”

Doug caught the questioning look passing between the brothers. “The limo’s outside,” he said quickly. “Are you ready, Jen?”

She nodded. “C’mon, everyone.”

Luis stood by the car and waved them in. “Now we’ve got the whole family back. Mr. Brennan likes summertime the best.”

“So do I,” said Jen, as she entered the car after Emily. “Even if my bros drive me a bit crazy.”

But Doug could see the love for them in her laughing eyes as she teased. A good big sister, and he’d bet the boys counted on her. Or took her for granted. He was in no position to ask questions, but maybe he could do a good turn for Jen’s little sister.

“Hey, Emily, you got me thinking about what you said about Mozart. I feel like that too. Sometimes, I get lost in my writing. Sometimes, I don’t know where the words come from. Is Mozart your boss? Or does his music carry you away, until you’re lost and just play it from your heart? You’re right about it being complicated—especially when you’re really talented like you—but it’s also very satisfying.”

“Yes,” said Emily. “It just feels…good!”

“Mike’s his own boss,” said Brian. “And the team leader. He keeps practicing until he’s better than anyone.”

“He loves the game,” said Andy slowly. “In all ways—heart, mind and body. He calls the plays, but he’s also part of the team. When you think about it, everything really is complicated.”

“Even Mike can’t play such a tough game forever,” said Emily slowly. “But I want to make music forever.”

They were quiet for the few more minutes it took Luis to reach their destination. When the car slowed to a stop, Doug looked out the window. “We’re here.”

“Wow, I didn’t have time to be nervous,” said Emily, “until right now. Good conversation.”

Luis opened the door and they scrambled out, each thanking the man. Emily led the way. “I have to use the side door, but I’ll see you later.”

“Good luck.” Jen hugged her. “We love you no matter what.”

“Yeah, just don’t throw up,” said Brian.

“Like you used to,” added Andy.

She rolled her eyes. “They never forget anything!”

“As we theater-people say,” said Doug, “break a leg.”

Emily grinned and disappeared into the building.

“Whew,” said Jen. “We did it. It took all of us, but we did it.” She glanced at him. “Thanks for distracting her with that conversation.” Then she gathered her brothers, one on each arm. “Love having you both back from school.”

Doug saw it on her face, heard it in her voice. When she loved, she loved hard. And he wanted that.

She stared at him then, head tilted, eyes bright. “Now, do you understand?” she asked quietly.

“I do understand. And if that was the whole point of today’s visit, then you’ve wasted your time. I’m not in competition with your family. But you have to figure that out.”

##

After the concert, Luis took Emily and the twins home, and dropped Jen and Doug downtown. As they started walking toward their apartments, Jen found her hand resting in Doug’s, as though it were the most natural place to be. Had Doug been right earlier? Had she wanted him to see how close her family was so…so she didn’t have to feel guilty about the past anymore? Oh, yeah, Jen. Still trying to prove you were right?

“Emily was amazing, wasn’t she?” Jen said.

“I’d say. Standing-ovation kind of amazing. I had no idea she’d be a featured player. A major one.”

“She’s going to Tanglewood in a couple of weeks,” Jen said, “the summer home of the Boston Symphony. She might be the youngest there, only eighteen and playing with the best. She used to spend summers at a music camp run by Itzhak Perlman and his wife. She had to audition to get accepted.”

Doug’s long, low whistle reassured her.

“Tanglewood’s across the state,” she said, “and I’ll probably drive her. Emily doesn’t have a license yet—it’s never even come up in conversation!” She shook her head and sighed. “I swear she lives in the clouds. The girl needs a keeper!

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