Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) 📕

him watching her, hear

his steady breathing, and feel

his presence like an awful frost-bite on her subconscious, chilling her to the core.
“You’re awake,” he said, sighing. “Finally

. I was starting to worry I’d drugged you too much.” He shut the door, taking his time. “It’s been over an hour, in case you’re wondering. Rachel should be waking up soon, too.”
Slowly, she braved opening her eyes, careful to avoid his gaze. “You’re not worried she’ll call for help?” Her stomach dropped at the horrifying memory of Rachel’s abused body. “You must know she’ll try.”
“I’m aware,” he said, almost pleasantly. “In fact—I’m looking forward to it. See, the thing is, even if she gets the authorities involved it won’t stop me. It won’t stop us

from being together, like we should be.”
She choked on the bile in her throat, utterly disgusted. No

, she replied silently, too shaken to speak aloud. It will. You’re never going to get away with this, Johnny. I’ll never be with you.

He smiled—a sick, repulsive twitch of the lips. “If you have something to say, Princess, just say it.”
She turned her face towards him, glaring, and shook her head. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Aw, don’t be like that, sweetheart,” he crooned, stepping towards her. “You’ll learn to enjoy my company, soon. Everything will be just fine. You just have to remember to listen to me, okay?”
“You’ve taken everything I love away from me,” she snapped, voice cracking. She fought back the tears that threatened to leak. “Nothing will ever be ‘just fine’

again. And you’re kidding yourself if you think I’ll ever

enjoy your company. I can’t stand being around you. You make me sick

.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” He smirked, reaching out to catch a lock of her hair in his fingers. “I like it when you’re honest with me, Princess, but I can’t have you running your mouth like that, either. And if you want to keep your ‘innocence’ intact, I suggest you start keeping some of your thoughts to yourself. Things will go better for you if you don’t fight what’s going to happen.”
Stricken with an aggressive surge of fear, Skye recoiled, pulling herself as far away from Johnny as she possibly could with her restrictions. “What do you want from me, Johnny?” Her voice was small and weak, showing fear she wanted so desperately to hide. “Why are you doing this?”
He leaned in, cupped her face in his hands, and pressed their foreheads together, sighing. “I just want you

, Skylar. I’ve always wanted you.” He brushed his lips over hers, inhaling. “Everything I’ve done has been for you.”
She whimpered, blinking back tears. “No, stop—”
“Shh, don’t worry, Princess—it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Please—” she croaked, trying to pull away. “Don’t.” Bitter sobs shook her body as Johnny pressed his lips against hers and kissed her, invading a boundary she wished he hadn’t. She had to fight the urge to gag, repulsed by Johnny’s sick tongue probing its way into her mouth. Her stomach lurched at his taste, so bitter, so vile

, she could hardly bear it.
When he finally pulled his lips away, Skye gasped for air, choking on the aftermath of his aggression. “Johnny,” she whispered, mentally slapping herself for how weak and insecure she was being. “Please—don’t touch me. Not like that.”
He frowned, gave his head a little shake. “I’m sorry, Skye—but I’ve wanted to be with you for so long. It’s not easy for me to hold myself back, especially with you right here, so close to me.” He pushed himself onto the bed, placing himself above her. “And besides, it’s not like you’ve been very respectful to me in the past. Things could be much worse; I could be making you do things you’re not ready for, or hurting you—but I’m not. I’m being merciful, instead.” He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, breathing heavy. “You should be grateful.”
She shivered, feeling his teeth graze her soft, tender skin. “I-I am grateful,” she lied. It wasn’t entirely a lie though; she was

grateful he hadn’t made her do anything she wasn’t ready for—this time. But then again, he’d already abused her too many times for her to trust that he’d really be able to hold himself back if the time came. “I-I’m sorry—I guess I’m just afraid.” She swallowed hard, biting back what she really wanted to say. She had to be strong now; she had to fight for her own freedom. And maybe—if she told Johnny what he wanted to hear—she’d have a chance at winning this battle.
It was the only hope she had left.
“It’s okay, Princess. I know this is all must be very strange for you.” He nipped at a soft spot, pressed his lips against the skin. “But everything will be okay. I promise.”
She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to cry out. His touch created an overwhelming feeling of disgust, making her skin crawl. “Can I ask you something?”
He smiled against her skin. “Anything.”
Her heart was pounding, but she tried to calm herself down, too afraid that if she didn’t keep herself together she’d later regret it. She had no choice but to fake trust in him. “Why?” Her voice wavered, and she cleared her throat. “Why do you want me so badly? Why do all of this just . . . to have me

?”
He hesitated, lips parting from her skin. His breath was warm and heavy on her skin when he let out a long breath, before saying, ever so softly, “Because you’re just like her.”
Her eyes flashed open; body went rigid—suddenly wide awake. Her? She tried to wrap her mind around what he’d just told her, perplexed by the deep sorrow she’d heard in his voice. Could there have been another girl? A girl like me?

“Who was she?” she managed, finding her voice. “What happened to her?”
“Scarlett,” he said, quietly. “Scarlett Newman—the first girl I ever loved.” Skye could feel his body shaking around hers, just barely, as he propped himself up, hands on either side of her head. His stricken gaze bore into hers, so raw, so torn, so vulnerable

, it was like nothing she’d ever seen from him before. “I was going to propose for her hand in marriage, but before I could, she was taken from me.”
“Taken?” she asked, genuinely intrigued. “What happened, Johnny?”
“He

killed her,” he spat, brows furrowing in disgust. “He had no shame, no remorse. He was just a soulless monster that ruined my life.”
“Who?”
“My father.” His voice was laced with disdain. “He didn’t care about anyone but himself. After years of abusing his family—me, my mother, and sister—he eventually broke down completely and told me I had to help him get rid of them, or he’d kill me too. He made me watch as he took their lives—and Scarlett’s—before taking his own life and leaving me with no one. He’d always hated me. But he’d also always wanted me to be like him.” He sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and sat up, straddling Skye’s waist. “I guess in a way, he got what he wanted.”
“No—he didn’t.” Subtly, she tested the bonds again, searching for some way of escape. When they didn’t budge, she focused all her attention on Johnny. “You don’t have to be like him, Johnny. You can be different—better

—than he was. You can change.”
“So you agree, then?” His hands ventured down to her waist, and then lazily crawled upwards. She stifled a gasp, the feel of his hands sending the darkest of memories to her mind. “I’ve turned into him.”
She froze for a moment before shaking her head, taken aback. “No—you haven’t—I—”
He bent down, leaned in. “Just admit it, Skylar—you’re afraid of me. You’re afraid of the kinds of feelings I have towards you. But wait—it’s more than that. You’re not only afraid, but also disgusted

with me. I mean—don’t get me wrong—I can’t really blame you. I’ve done some pretty awful things to you and

your loved ones. But the problem is, I’ve done it all for

you

. You’re just so much

like her, and I can’t help but want you.” His hands reached the top button of her blouse and stopped, hesitating, and at the same time, he brought his lips against her ear, whispering, “You’re special, Princess—no one can say otherwise. But you’re also mine—and I’ve never been good at sharing.”
The first button came undone. She sucked in a breath, prepared to beg for him to stop, but he pressed a hand on her mouth, silencing her. “Don’t. It’ll do you no good. You’ll just have to trust me.”
She tried to shake her head but didn’t get anywhere, easily held in place by his hand. Her heartbeat was pounding painfully against her chest, fear and desperation squeezing the life out of her. She pulled on the bonds but it did nothing. She was trapped, vulnerable at Johnny’s hands.
Another button came undone.
“Maybe I should just take you now,” Johnny said slowly, as if considering it. “Maybe I shouldn’t wait for you to be ready.” A muffled whimper was her only response. “Maybe I’ll have a little fun.” He kissed her neck, softly, as his fingers worked to undo another button. “What do you think?”
As he removed his hand from her