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helping me choose what to wear?”
“Sure I don’t mind, im happy to help” I lead him up the stairs and into my bedroom and helped him take the baby carrier off his back and placed Grace in the crib next to Dylan, who was delighted to see his friend again. “What clothes have you got in mind?” he asked as he sat on the edge of my bed
“Well I was thinking these” I held up a pair of skinny black Jeans and a long sparkly top “or these” replacing them with the denim dark blue skirt and a white halter neck top, both of which I had only worn once.
James got up off the bed and looked closer at the two outfits, “I think” he said “I like this one the best”
“Good choice” I said grinning “I think I would have probably chosen this one as well” Then to his surprise I stripped off down to my underwear then covered myself up again with the denim dark blue skirt and my white halter neck top,
“Close your eyes” muttered James “I want to surprise you with something”
“With what?” I asked quietly
“Just close your eyes”
I closed my eyes and stood in front of my mirror whilst James tied the top securely around my neck. I was feeling nervous; it was his touch on my skin, it sent a feeling of electricity run down my spine, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, it made me feel secure and safe. I felt him move closer to me as he leaned over and picked up something; I jumped slightly when I felt something being ran gently through my hair but then relaxed when I realised that it was my hair brush, he spent a long time brushing my hair and playing with it, every so often he would tug and pull and clip bits of my hair up.
“Open your eyes” he whispered in to my ear, I obeyed and slowly, very slowly opened my eyes, I gasped when I saw my reflexion in front of me, I looked like a completely different person, for once I truly felt beautiful.
“Wow James, I look so different, thank you so much” I whispered
“This is how you always look, I see no difference”
I turned around to face him “where did you learn this?”
“I used to do my mum’s hair for her when she was pregnant with Grace; she was a hairdresser so she taught me a few tricks”
“James, this is brilliant thank you so much” I gasped pulling him in to a hug, once again I felt the electric shock shoot through my body and I was reluctant to let go
“Lana we have to go, it’s ten to seven”
“All ready?” I gasped “time goes so quickly”
We arrived at the centre dead on seven, I moaned as I saw how many balloons were floating outside “He is one year old; he is never going to remember this! What is the point in throwing a fabulous birthday party for a one year old?”
James laughed at me and said “relax, let your friend have some fun and anyway I get to meet all these amazing friends your always talking about” then paused and said “which amazing friend planned this?”
“Bree” I muttered, it was like I had just triggered an alarm by saying Bree’s name because she suddenly appeared through the door and ran over to us.
“Finally! Nearly every one is here, come on” she said as she took Dylan from me and ran back in side with him
“Who is every one?” I shouted back at her, but she was already through the door.
I looked at James who shrugged then said “That was Bree I take it?”
“Yes” I grumbled “Come on were not doing any one any favours by standing out here in the cold” and trudged towards the door, followed closely by James and Grace. “Oh no!” I gasped as soon as I had walked through the door.
“Oh wow” gasped James as he also entered the room “It’s like a giant soft play area!”
“Go ahead and play James” I said sarcastically “but don’t forget to take your shoes and sock’s off”
“Relax Lana” said Bree bounding over to us “this is for Dill not for you”
“Speaking of my brother, where is he?” I watched as Bree pointed into the corner where I saw Dylan sitting in a baby chair that had wheels, you know the ones where the kids use their legs to move around, “Bree? Where did you get all these babies from? You didn’t steal them did you?”
“Don’t be silly, of course I didn’t”
“You have to admit that with you anything is possible”
Bree frowned then said “this is the playgroup that uses the hall on week days, I invited them”
“But we don’t know them! The only baby Dylan knows is Grace.”
“Grace?” said Bree sounding confused “Oh, hi, who are you?” she said when she realised that James was standing next to me
“Hi, I’m James, and you’re Bree…right?”
“Right” said Bree happily
“Lana, I’m just going to put Grace in one of them things Dylan is in, I’ll be right back”
“Ok” I said as he walked away
“Wow Lana, where did you dig him up from? He is definitely my type! You haven’t given up on Gabriel already have you?”
“What? No, James is just my friend” I hated saying that word ‘friend’ about James
“Where is Gabriel anyway?”
“Urm, Gabriel? Oh yeah, he should be here”
“Well, he’s late” she moaned
“Don’t fret Bree” said Gabriel sneaking up behind her and making her jump “I’m here”
“About time too, the party started at seven, it is now” she said as she checked her watch “five past!” then walked off towards James who was trying to detach himself from some children who were clinging on to his legs and laughing.
“Well” said Gabriel “James seems to be having fun”
“Are you jealous?” I asked
“Moi? Jealous, of course I’m not”
“Look, come here” I said dragging him out through the door in to the entrance hall, when we were alone I looked up at him and said “look you turned me down, Gabriel I can’t wait for you forever”
“When did I turn you down? You never asked me out”
“No, but I told you that I loved you and you rejected me”
“Lana” said Gabriel cutting me off “You are my best friend and only my best friend, I trust you, I’m sorry, but I don’t love you” when he said that I thought I saw a flash of pain shoot across his face I couldn’t tell but it didn’t matter anyway
I looked into his perfect eyes and said “I love you but only as a best friend”
“But you did love me more”
“Yes I did, but now I don’t” it wasn’t a lie, I did love him still, but like I told him, only as a friend, I knew that I had to move on from him there is no point running after a lost cause.
The party went surprisingly well and I did start to enjoy it towards the end because Dylan looked like he was having fun.
“You know he won’t remember it Bree” I said as i walked down the road accompanied by James who was carrying Grace who was asleep in her chair on his back and Bree who pushing Dylan in his pram who was also sleeping
“Oh shut up” she said smiling “all that matters is that he had a good time. Anyway where did Gabriel go?” she asked me just as I thought the same thing, we had both spotted Gabriel rush out half an hour before the party finished.
“I have no idea” I answered truthfully
“Oh well, he missed out” Bree sighed “Anyway guys, ill see you when I next see you” as she handed the pram back to me
“See you Bree, it was nice meeting you” James said as he waved
“Bye, I’ll ring you tomorrow” I shouted at her back and laughed when she did her imitation of the Queen’s wave to show that she had heard us.
“Well” sighed James “I had better get Grace home” then he laughed and said “Dylan looks like he had a good time”
“Yeah, it’s ok for Bree to throw the party, but it’s me that has to clear up his vomit after he has eaten too much cake”
“I don’t think he ate cake, but if that is the case just call me tomorrow and I will help you”
“Thanks James” I said as he pulled me in to a hug, “I’m glad you had a good time” I muttered looking up in to James eyes. I felt the electricity start up again but this time my heart began to beat faster, I was surprised that James didn’t comment on how loud it was because it was all I was aware of apart from his breathing which I could feel on my upper lip. I felt one of his hands move through my hair and the other on my back as his mouth etched closer to mine, something was pulling me closer to him as I felt my own hands wind around his neck as his lips finally pressed against mine. Its funny really because in the books I have read and in the films I have seen the first kiss between two lovers is exaggerated by fireworks or described as an electric shock, but to me it was so much more, it felt as if my heart had burst out of my chest and expanded so much I thought that it wouldn’t fit back In, it was as if the whole world had disappeared and there was only me and him, we were all that mattered.


Chapter Nine

A woman was sitting alone in a high backed chair, looking at her hands which were held out in front of her, just looking. The woman was old and frail looking, small with soft white hair. I watched her as she slowly lifted her hands a fraction higher and looked at them as she flipped them over a few times, I thought she was admiring herself but her face turned into a look of disgust and she let her hands drop onto her knees, she looked away as I watched a single perfect pearly tear fall slowly down her face, I wanted to rush to her and put my arms around her, comfort her, to tell her that she wasn’t alone, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t move, my feet wouldn’t let me, I had to just stand there and watch as her faced crumpled as she let down the barrier for more tears.
After a minute or so of her quiet sobbing she turned to look at me, I saw that her eyes were a bright green; they looked about the same shade as mine and they were smiling at me, well I didn’t know if she could see me or not but she held out her hand as if to beckon me closer, when I didn’t move, she got up out of the chair and slowly turned her back to me, I thought that I had offended her but what I saw next made me gag, the back of her head looked as though it had been crushed, hit a thousand times by a bat or stamped on, I could see a deep chasm where her brain should have been, in the chasm I could see bits of muscle and bone just hanging and flopping around every time she moved even the slightest inch and what was left of her hair was clumped together by blood
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