Alex & Sam by Jeniffer M (free novel reading sites TXT) 📕

is that they are suicidal. Not that all the girls were the same… Katy really marked me. I was afraid of love, afraid of Alex, afraid of her feeling for me and afraid of my feelings for her. Last night I was jealous like crazy. Maybe Katy didn’t restrain herself from sending text messages or mails, or even calling or popping everywhere I was. But I was no different. I was always thinking those things, only I didn’t do it.
I need it to be clear with Alex. I knew that somehow she was waiting for an explanation. But I wasn’t ready yet to face her and talk about it. Last night was clear, I was babbling instead of telling her what I wanted to tell her. She was watching me with desire in her eyes, but I couldn’t fell the same way. I love her, but I didn’t want to make the same mistakes again. I needed more time and I didn’t have the right to ask her to wait for me indefinitely. It wasn’t fear for her. But watching her kissing another guy with such passion sure hurt me badly.

When I was ready I went to the studio to the old man. My Father was never a really paternal man but he did the best he knew he could do. As a result of that, neither Georges nor I could call him dad or father. We call him “George” or “old man”. George was waiting in his desk and when he saw me he pointed out the chair in front of him.

“I have the application forms and the letters from the university. You weren’t paying attention back then but you are going to star college in September. You are in the basic year of engineering. You will have to hold there for a year if you want to change your mind. Also, you have to keep up you grades.”

“OK. I got that.” < Engineering!!!>

“I don’t want you to be here doing nothing Samuel. Rest today, from tomorrow on you will come with me to the office until you start college.”

“Ok, George. Anything else?”

“Call your mom. She is worry.”

“Go it”

Pretty much, all the conversations with the old man were like that. I know he loves us, he just doesn’t know how to showed. I we do the same with him.

I went to the living room and called my mom. We talk like for 15 min and she was better by the time we said good bye. Then I went to the kitchen and prepare some sandwiches. This house need it a woman to cook for everybody, but George wasn’t going to let any female in this house. And all the girls of my brother were good in just one thing, and it wasn’t the kitchen. I missed mom home cooking so bad.

I finish eating and went to my room to check out my mails. When I saw a mail from Alex I felt the food in my stomach getting heavy. I click in it to read:


I want to be your friend.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]

Hello Sam. I’m sorry for not calling you or text you but I didn’t want to bother you. You know, all this time I was waiting for you. All the time you were in England I was always thinking of you, and dreaming with you coming back to me. I didn’t contact you often because; well… you had a girlfriend and I didn’t want Couse you trouble. It was clear to me that you didn’t wanted to be bothered. So instead I decide to wait until someday I will see you again. “Someday” came before I expected. At first I didn’t understand why you change so much. But it’s ok. I don’t need to understand Sam. Whatever are your reasons, I trust you. You can take your time. You know that I love you, but I won’t push you Sam. I told you before and will repeat it, you are free.

Don’t push me away. If there is any possibility to be friends, please, think about it.
You know I love you. But you are free. You can choose!
I will always remember you the way I use to. Remember who you are and don’t give up!

Take care.
Love
Alex.

I read the mail, and read it over and over until I almost memorize it. She knew something was wrong with me. Or maybe she already knew about Katy. But she was trying to make it easy for me. She loves me so much that she was giving up on me. She was setting me free. I didn’t need to talk to her, or explain anything if I didn’t really wanted. May be loving her wasn’t a mistake after all… but I wasn’t ready yet. Not yet. So I decide to let her know at least that!


RE: I want to be your friend.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Thank you Alex! I’m not ready yet to talk. But I will look for you to talk whenever I feel ready.

Until then, you are free too.

Take care.
Sam C.

After I sent the mail, I went to bed again. Depressed and tired. Do men really wanted to cry so much? Because lately, the tears always threating me come out! I went back to sleep. But this time, I didn’t have memories mixed with my nightmares, for the first time in a long time, I slept without dreaming. The next day, I started to work with my father at the office.

The old man didn’t give breaks or chance to rest or relax. I was working with him almost the seven days of the week, and was working 10 to 12 hours per day. He was giving me the therapy that always worked for him, work until you die of exhaustion. But it was working on me too. I was so tired that didn’t think too much. Alex would appear in my drams sometimes, and Katy would in my nightmares. I was a zombie working. I didn’t go to parties with Georges or the friends at the office; in part to avoid any encounter with Alex or her friends and in part because I was really tired. The months pass by and it was the last week of August. The old man told me that if I were a new employee on trial I would have pass and will be accepted. That made me feels better. My live in some areas was improving, so know was time to rest for a week before starting collage in the first week of September. I decide to give my best with the career that the old man chooses for me because, so far, he was right. So I better keep learning for him as much as could.

The first three days I just rest like a lazy sloth! Barely eating and using the shower. After I rested, I decide to go out with Georges. We went to some stores to buy things for his new car, and some outfits for him too. I pick some for me; after all I was going to begin collage. Georges was excited because Alice called him and invited him for a drink, and he was hoping to get her back. I felt tempted to ask about Alex but didn’t do it. All this months without news about her made me feel a little better. Katy wasn’t coming to my mind that often either, so I was getting better. But still, I need it more time. Then, Georges and his big mouth hit me again!

“So, do you want to come too?”

“I don’t want to be the fifth weal.”

“You are not going to be the fifth weal Sam, Erick, Gabriel and Mark are going to be there too. Aldo I think Lily and Kate and maybe Alex.”

“Better reason for me to not go.”

“Why not? She doesn’t have boyfriend anymore and I think she still likes you!”

“She had a boyfriend?”

“Apparently, but the guy is going to college out of the country, so they broke up and are friends.”

“How much longer Sam?”

“How much longer what Georges?” <I was getting annoying with Georges always reminding me about Alex and Katy and everything.>

“ ahh <sigh> You are going to lose her Sam. And you will regret it. You told me once that Alice didn’t deserve me, well; Alex doesn’t deserve you either!

“I know… that’s why I don’t want to keep interfering with her life.”

“Haven you thought that maybe is destiny that she is still waiting for you? Aren’t you afraid of losing her?”

“I can’t lose something that is not mine.”

“You know Sam ... Whatever! Keep doing it and you will regret it. You didn’t want to be with Katy, but with Alex is different! You want to be with her and she wants to be with you. Alex is a strong girl with a loving family and beautiful personality. Everybody loves her… She will begin collage too, and she will find …”

“Would you just shut the F**K UP!!!!” <Now I was piss off! But he made a point there. Alex was beautiful and soon somebody else will snatch her from me. She won’t wait forever.>

The conversation with Georges left me tormented! After a couple of month without worried about anything else besides work, now I was getting a headache all over again. I kept thinking in Alex and that maybe, ready or not, I should make my move. She might be better without me; but definitely, I wasn’t better without her. I need her in my life, and I was running out of time. This was my time, now! I had to regret so much about Katy, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake with Alex! I couldn’t afford it.

“Where are you going to be?” < I asked Georges after a while. I decided to go with them and see Alex.>

“Ander’s… in the 99st and San Johns’ avenue… are you coming?”

“Maybe… “

“you better Sam. You better!”

Later that night, I dress up to go to the bar and meet with the guys. I was wearing black jeans, a white V neck shirt with the Armani logo on the chest and black shoes. I took the keys of my car and went out of the house. I got to the bar one hour after Georges told me because I was still a little unsure. But when I got there and meet with everybody I felt disappointed. Alex wasn’t there with Alice and the rest of the group. I said hi to everybody and order a beer. I relaxed a little and started to have fun catching up with everybody’s life. But then Alice spoke to me:

“So, Sam… What are you doing here?” <She asked me when everybody else was distracted in other conversation. But I knew what she was asking about”>

“Umm… I’m having fun with you and the guys.” <She stared at me>

“You know Sam, I told Alex to come, but when she knew that Georges was going to be here, she changes her mind. She is now with Yami and Johnny in a bar called Mambo. . . So, I will ask you again, what are you doing here?”