The Cyberpunk Fakebook by St. Jude and R. U. Sirius (top 10 motivational books .txt) π
WORDS IN BOLDFACE
(enclosed in double <<angle braces>> for the ASCII version)
These are terms that are defined in *Building
Your Cyber Word Power*. Check there for anything that
baffles you.
Sometimes there's a double-anglebrace-enclosed term in the
text that refers to a chapter subheading, and then you
must practice your <<haqr smarts>> in order to find it.
If all else fails, you could ask Bruce Sterling at his
secret email address-- [emailΒ protected]. He will know.
THE SHURIKEN AWARDS
We may sometimes succumb to the temptation to rate things theway snotty critics do, by awarding stars. However, we willaward them as *shuriken*, a cyber kinda star:
^ ^ ^
< X > < X > < X >
v v v
A shuriken is a throwing star-- a shiny-steel, sharp-edged,sharp-pointed weapon from Japan (which is cyberpunk's
original home in certain misty urban legends). The shurikenitself as an assault weapon would rate one-half shuriken on ascale of four. A hydrogen bomb would rate five shuriken.
You get the idea.
Occasionally we may add Propeller Beanies to the Shuriken:
<<<o>>> <<<o>>> <<<o>>>
__|_ _|_ _|__
/___ /___ /___
This indicates nerdly interest over and above a cyberpunk
rating. Propeller head is an ancient term for <<nerd>>.
The real name for that key on the Macintosh is not COMMAND,but PROPELLER, and this is why.
| | _/_ O ||
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Chapter 9/ THE HARDWARE/SOFTWARE YOU ACTUALLY NEED /Or How to Fake It/
Computers, Modems, Encryption Programs + Plus Terminally Hip Extras: Laptops, Heads-up Displays, Personal Communicators, Pagers... Or + Realistic Balsa Mock-ups to Please Your BudgetChapter 10/ YOUR ONLINE PERSONA /How to Win Friends, Score Information, and Intrigue the Apposite Sex/
Starting Out Right + Writing a Kewl dot.plan, + Designing a Non-lame dot.sig + Location, Location, Location-- What Your Eddress Says About YOU. + Beyond Attitude-- What??? + Netiquette + Art of the Flame + Online Poise: Cool in a MUD, Uncowed in a MOOChapter 11/ HOW TO AVOID BANKRUPTCY /Sorry, that's just a little joke/
Chapter 12/ WHERE TO HANG /Finding the Cool Places in Cyberspace/
Will the Net Kill Hacking? An Introductory Rant + IRCs, BBSes, MUDs, MOOs and MUSEs, Special Interest Groups, With a Special Word About alt.sex.bestiality* SECTION IV: CYBERPUNK... THE SCENE ***
Chapter 13/ FACE TIME /Pleased to Meat You?/
Hacking Your Face2face IRL Persona + The Mandatory Black Leather Jacket + Leather Trousers? + Boots, Hair + Wearable Electronics: What's Chic, What's Rancid? And Buttons/Badges/Insignia, With a Special Warning About StarFleet Gear + Street Cred and Martial ArtsChapter 14/ TERMINALLY HIP WIDGETS /And High-Tech ToyZ/
Fun With Your Cellular Phone + One Hundred Uses for Your Laser Pointer + Laminator 2: Identity Hacking + Why NOT to Buy a Stun Gun or a Nerve-Gas Dispenser or a TASERChapter 15/ GAMES!
Video Games & Computer Games Fast-twitch Muscle Games, Exploration Games, Weird or X-Rated Games, Slacker Computer Games + Offline Games Magic, Hacker, The Glass Bead Game, DD&DChapter 16/ CYBERPUNK LIFESTYLE HINTS /Trends, Faves and Hates/
Interior Decorating Tips and Stylin Furnishings, Amusing Potted Plants, Stickers, Posters and Logos + What to Put on Top of Your Computer Monitor and Why + Nerd Comic Strips + Haqr Basic Diet, Stunt Foods & Intimidating Soft Drinks + Music That Doesn't Suck + Squeaky/Cuddly Toys With Really Good Rationalizations + Rubik's Hypercubes or Rubik's Dodecahedrons or Rubik's Other Strange Shapes and Hi-Tech Intellectual Adult Transformers In the Shape of Interlocked Rings, Chains, Blocks, Helices, and Platonic Solids That Shapeshift into Other Configurations of Rings, Chains, Etc Etc But Only If You Do Them Exactly Right, Which Is Very Difficult Or Impossible, but Which Gather Dust, Take Up Lots of Room On Your Monitor, and Taunt and Sneer at You Every Time You Look at Them.* SECTION V: CYBERPUNK... THE INNER SCENE ***
Chapter 17/ CYBERPUNK SECRETS REVEALED! (Yes, Just as We Promised-- REVEALED!)
Why Cyberpunks Seldom Have Their Organs Pierced + The Real Reason Why Cyberpunks Need to Encrypt Their Email + What Cyberpunks Are Doing at 3 AM in That Dumpster + Why Cyberpunks Avoid Altered States + Coping With Neurotoxins + Why Some Cyberpunks Love Star Trek Even Though It Sucks, + When Cyberpunks Always Diss What is Lame and Useless + What Cyberpunks Actually Admire, and Why + Secret Cyberpunk Handshaking, Signals and Head MotionsChapter 18/ CYBERPUNK: THE INNER GAME /The Tao of Punk; The Secret Dancing Masters of Cyber; And Everything You Wanted to Know About Cyber But Were Too Lame To Ask/
The Hidden Hierarchy of Cyberpunk Revealed, from Bottom to TopChapter 19/ CYBERPUNK: THE PARENTAL-DISCRETION SPECIAL /Sects and Politics... and Recipes/
Disclaimer and Waiving of All Rights + Declaration of Age >> 21 and An Anti-Suicide Pact*SECTION VI: CYBERPUNK... ARE YOU CYBER ENOUGH?***
Chapter 20/ IT IS AN INTELLIGENCE TEST! /Cyberpunk Skull-Tweakers and Fun Fare/
The All-Cyber Cryptic Crossword Puzzle + Name That Nym! + Three-Letter-Acronyms From H.E.C.K. Cryptic Crossword Puzzles, Twisters and Max Headroom Memorial RebusesChapters 21/ 22/, and Of Course 23/ BOTTOM LINE TIME /Making It or Faking It/ A Cyberpunk Review to Prepare you, and then **THE FINAL EXAM ** It's Not True/False, We Don't Grade on the Curve, Stop Sniveling.
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* THE OFFICIAL CYBERPUNK HIPNESS CHECKLIST *** You Won't Like This Either But It's for Your Own Good, Punk.
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................-..That Is All..-.....................
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APPENDIX A: Cyberpunk Valorized: Careers Under Deconstruction The Semiosis of Black Leather, Chrome, Mirrorshades and Modems
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
APPENDIX B: ASCII Charts
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Now, Welcome to.the Text..............................
* THE
* REAL
* CYBERPUNK
* FAKEBOOK
* By St. Jude, R.U.Sirius, and Bart Nagel
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SECTION I: + + CYBERPUNK...WHY?? + + Okay... HOW??? +
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Chapter 1: CYBERPUNK: A CHALLENGING POSTMODERN LIFESTYLE CHOICE Why Bother? Big Wins! (and Unexpected Smallstuff)
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Cyberpunk is extremely hip. Being extremely hip is the last hope for people with no money and no power. Being hip gets you big wins in the status game. Hipness can crush your enemies and attract the apposite sex. Best of all, cyberpunk is the next big thing AFTER the next big thing. You can hop on the cyberpunk bandwagon and coast for a long, long time. Think of the money you'll save on wardrobe updates! The worry you'll save on lifestyle decisions!
Cyberpunk has not yet been co-opted. In fact, this handbook is the very first exploitation of this hip new underground trend. This is the ground floor. Get in on it!
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Chapter 2: ACHIEVING CYBERPUNK Being It or Faking It
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What is there to know about being a cyberpunk? Leather jacket, mirrorshades-- that just about does it, right? This kind of patronizing shirt must farking DIE.*
Since we can't afford to offend any parental units who might purchase this book for their family circle, all chancy verbs and nouns have been cleverly encyphered. This is in the spirit of true cyberpunkhood, see <>.
You think cyberpunk is just a leather jacket, some chrome studs, and fully reflective sunglasses? You think that's all there is? Hah! You can find those on Kansas City bikers and the whole California Highway Patrol. The true cyberpunk might tuck a cellular-modem laptop under a spiked leather arm, and a laser pointer in the upper zip pocket. Or, a true cyberpunk may look just like YOU. But sHe who knows doesn't tell, and hirm who tells doesn't know.
Pronoun disclaimer: All pronouns in this book started life as intact males-- he, his, and him. If anything bad happened to them afterwards, blame it on the Riot Grrrls Bobbitt Squad.
The lifestyle and goals of the true cyberpunk are carefully guarded secrets in a life totally devoted to coolness and secrecy. We will PIERCE THE VEIL, and REVEAL those SECRETS. We will display for you the INNER CYBERPUNK. We will give you everything you need to know about embarking on this challenging lifestyle. When you have read to the end of this EASY handbook, if you DON'T pass the hipness quiz... well, just read it again. But turn your TV up louder.
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Chapter 3: A STYLE GUIDE TO THE CYBERTYPES Recognizing Them and Fitting In
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While a cyberpunk is commonly a middleclass white male with way too many electrons, there are varieties of cyberpunk. Underlying all the types and genres is Basic Cyber Style, which breaks down to physical gear and mental attitude:
--->Basic Cyberpunk Gear is simple. Black leather jacket. Boots. Mirrorshades. Laser pointer. (We don't know why all cyberpunks need a laser pointer, but it's mandatory.) We'll give you a more elaborate guide to basic cyberpunk gear. Later.
--->The Basic Cyberpunk Attitude is quiet assurance. Subdued swashbuckling. Maybe a little menace.
With these cyberpunk basics you can navigate through all the sub-genres. But if you want to pass as a native in a particular cyber sub-scene without getting jeered at or beaten up, you gotta accessorize, and pay close attention to detail.
Motorpsycho Maniacs Cyberbikers pack the mystique of both worlds-- high tech, and big greasy loud engines. Standard cyberpunk costume is ideal for riding motorcycles, and a mirrorshades helmet is a big plus for the cyber look-- mega robotic coolness. Motorcycles are dangerous and can kill you. This is also cool.
Goths, Deathcore, and Vampire-Wannabes Ideally, for this sub-scene, you should know about The Cure, which is a band. To fit in, grow your hair big and dye it blueblack. Spray it with <> to make it stick out, medusa-like. Go to a kidshop and buy plastic fangs. (The kind that glow in the dark are funny. Funny is NOT the object here.) All sexes should wear a Victorian shirt-- blouse-- white or black only--- that gapes to show flesh. You must practice looking tormented, tall and thin. The ideal is chalk-white face makeup with blueblack eyesockets. Blueblack makeup with white eyesockets is untested, but might work very well, if you avoid a minstrel look. At all times think intensity and
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