Love in an Undead Age by A.M. Geever (good non fiction books to read .TXT) đź“•
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It was his relief that did her in.
The jolt of impact traveled from knuckles to elbow to shoulder before Miranda realized she had crossed the room and thrown the punch. Mario staggered back.
“How could you do that to me?” she shouted. “How could you do that to me?”
She punched him again, and again, and again. Rage and betrayal blinded her vision. Doug’s strong hand caught her from behind and dragged her away, but not before he caught an elbow in the face for his trouble.
“You son of a bitch!” she hissed, twisting free of Doug’s grip. Her breath came in shuddering gasps. “You let me think—oh my God, you all let me think—”
“Miranda,” Walter said.
“What about me?” she whispered, eyes filling with tears as she backed away. “What about me, or don’t I count? You let me think he betrayed us, that everything was a lie. How can you say he didn’t betray anyone? He betrayed me, didn’t he? Didn’t he?”
Walter tried again. “If you’ll let me explain—”
Miranda bumped against the end of a pew. She reached blindly to steady herself and felt something wet and warm hit her arm. She touched her face as she reeled toward the chapel doors. It was wet, too.
“Miranda,” Walter called from behind her. “The Council is after you. I know you don’t want to hear anything I have to say, but there are things I need to tell you. You can’t go anywhere, not when you’re upset like this.”
Miranda turned back. “Now you need to tell me something, Father?”
She hurled the honorific like an epithet. She glimpsed her horrified reflection in one of the chapel windows, amazed that the hurricane raging inside her could not be seen.
Hold it together for a minute, just a minute don’t let them see, don’t let them see…
Connor’s face was pale and shocked. When she looked at him, a choked sob forced its way past her lips.
“Will you come with me?” she asked, hardly able to speak.
She had to escape. She didn’t know how to stop a hurricane and she couldn’t let them see.
Connor crossed the room, silent save for the echo of his footsteps and her barely contained weeping. When he reached her at the chapel doors, she fled.
Connor could not catch Miranda as she ran from the Jesuit Residence into the wet, inky night. She was headed for the Mission Church. He knew it before she darted up the steps and pulled on one of the massive doors. A few moments later, he stepped inside, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the murky interior. Her sobs echoed off the walls like forlorn prayers.
He couldn’t believe he had missed it, but how could he have known? She hated Emily’s husband so much she only visited if Mario was not there. The vicious riposting and malicious digs that she and Mario had traded at dinner, and Karen’s comment that he did not know the half of it. In hindsight, it was lit in neon, but there was no way he could have seen it. He hadn’t had enough pieces of the puzzle to fit together.
Connor wiped the rain from his face as he walked past the row of tapestry draped columns that demarcated the entryway from the sanctuary proper. In keeping with classical Mission style, the church had no fixed pews. Often the altar was set up against the far back wall, but at the moment it was in the center. Rows of sturdy wooden chairs surrounded it, utilizing an in-the-round style. Massive iron candelabras glowed, candlelight flickering off the stark white walls and golden decorations. The timbered ceiling was almost lost in the cavernous gloom, and the deep-set windows high along the walls stared out into the night like sightless eyes.
Miranda huddled on the floor in the aisle by the first row of chairs. Sobs racked her body. A few people milled nearby, not sure what to do. Connor waved the concerned onlookers away and knelt down beside her.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, her head and shoulders on his lap. He ran his hand over her soaked head, making sure to tuck imaginary strands of hair behind her ear. Her mother had smoothed her hair behind her ear when she was sick as a child. She told him that the first time she was stuck-in-bed sick her freshman year. Funny the things you remember, and when.
The familiar motion seemed to soothe her. Eventually she began to settle a little, sobs replaced by weeping.
“You loved him.”
She shuddered, and for a moment he thought she might begin to sob again. He slid his hand under the fingers of her right hand so he could get a look. The knuckles were scuffed and scratched and beginning to swell.
“We should get some ice for your hand.”
She shook her head and mumbled.
“I can’t hear you, Miri.”
Miranda’s tremulous voice was barely audible. “God is punishing me, I know He is.”
“Miranda… It doesn’t work like that.”
“He’s punishing me, He is,” she insisted. She began to cry harder. “He wasn’t free. I was so, so selfish.”
“Look at me.”
Miranda shook her head. Connor burrowed his hand under her chin and raised her head. Tears ran unchecked down her face. Even though he held her chin, she tried to look away.
“Look at me,” he said again.
Slowly, she raised her eyes to his. The fear and self-loathing Connor saw in them tore at his heart.
“You must think I’m horrible,” she said, almost unintelligible through her tears. “I know you do. I’m the worst kind of— God’s been punishing me all this time and—”
“Stop it,” Connor said. “Stop right now. Do not put words in my mouth. I don’t care, Miranda. I love you whether you think you deserve it or not, and God loves you, too. God is not punishing you; that’s not how it works.” His voice softened. “I only care that he hurt you so much.”
Connor pulled her close and held her tight and rocked her like a baby. She wept with her face pressed against his chest. And then, finally, she surrendered. Her body relaxed and went limp.
“I can’t believe you have to see me like this. Crying over someone else, I mean,” she said. Tears that she quickly wiped away still leaked from the corners of her eyes.
Connor shrugged. “I was gone a long time. I never thought you were waiting for me.”
“That might have worked out better,” she muttered. She looked up at him, then straightened up, concerned. “Connor, your face… It’s all cut up.”
Connor touched his face. He felt small cuts on his left cheek and forehead. His fingers came back with red smears.
“There’s a big piece of glass in your cheek.” Miranda leaned over and pulled out a long, sharp sliver. Warm blood began to run down the side of his face. “Ah, Jesus, I should have left it alone. You’re going to need stitches.” She dug in her front jeans pocket and produced a handkerchief which she pressed against his face.
The squelch of wet footsteps echoed from the direction of the main doors. Doug walked toward them looking uncomfortable but resolved. When he saw the blood-stained handkerchief in Connor’s hand, he stopped short.
“She didn’t punch you, too?”
Connor swallowed his annoyance and shook his head.
Doug looked at Miranda. “We need to talk, Miri. I know you don’t want to hear anything I have to say, but things are going sideways. We need you.”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before,” Miranda said. She had her voice under control, but she still swiped at tears.
“That’s part of what I need to talk to you about,” Doug answered. The exuberant young priest looked more serious than Connor would have thought possible. “I don’t mean to sound like Walter, but this is more important than any one of us.”
From the look on her face, Connor was sure Miranda would hurl an insult, but she surprised him.
“It’s about the vaccine.”
“Yes,” Doug answered.
She gave a disgusted sigh. “Fine, whatever. I could give a shit, but fine.”
Doug looked at Connor expectantly. Ah. Apparently he was supposed to beat it.
Fuck that, Connor thought. Aloud he said, “Do you want me to stay?”
Miranda turned to look at him, misery stamped across her face. Seeing her like this was torture. I’ll kill that asshole if it’s the last thing I do, he vowed.
“It’s okay,” Miranda said tiredly. “You should get your face looked at.” She kissed him, then lingered, like she didn’t want him to go. “Thank you.”
“You silly,” he said, his voice pitched low for her ears alone. “I’d do anything for you.”
“I know.”
Her cornflower blue eyes, beautiful despite being red and puffy, regarded him gratefully for a moment.
Connor grasped Miranda’s hand as he stood. “I’ll be just outside if you need me.”
“No. Go to the Jesuit Residence and get someone
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