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without fearing we will displace anything else. It will just be a complete and seamless merge, with no one feeling any worse, or threatened in any way.

With the goodbyes said, and nothing but the grandest wishes for the two of us, we set ourselves down on the grand bed, facing one another in the lotus position. Our android bodies will remain here, to be turned into energy along with the rest of the ship, returned to Source.

I look into my darlings eyes, those dark pools of love that never failed me yet. Together we aim for that very One moment, when 2011 Sander and Selina first set eyes on one another in full knowing. No, not that one moment in 2006, where they first physically met, but the one highly synchronistical one on November 11th, 2011, when they both knew they belonged together. We place our hands with the palms against one another, look each other in the eye, and then imagine us there......

Monday, April 11th, 2010, 19:45

I had the weirdest day today, like I really was dreaming all day long. It started with me getting up really awake, and intending a very satisfactory morning update for the website. When I got downstairs, it turned out that another one of my other contributors had awoken for the first time, and between the three of them they'd added about half a dozen articles, which is just about what I usually contribute! So all I had to do was thank them nicely, and add some music to the mix!

While traveling to work, I got a mail that some Chinese company was trying to acquire my domain name as a brand name, which looked legit enough for me to seriously answer it. In light of my recent mindset, I could see this as an incoming windfall, but I'm not counting on anything yet. Basically, it is like that one Heineken advertisement: β€œAnd now, we wait....”

I figure there are both positive and negative scams out there. I came to that conclusion when going home, I got another "I want to be your friend" mail: way too beautiful, but also way to blonde, and she signed off with the exact same line Liliya did that first time: "embraces lonely girl". Well cutie, we can be friends, but my heart belongs to another......

So one myth supposedly costs you money, and another one might bring in an unexpected windfall, and I got targeted by both on the same day! Is it any wonder that I feel like a million for having finally seen through this?

But let's be honest: this novel started out as a couple of 45th century androids playing with the past, helping their past selves along by tweaking our present. But why the immense distance in time? And if time is an illusion, why wouldn't the very same thing be possible for us in our own incarnations? Don't we tweak daily? When you pick up some experience, is not your future different from what it was before you had the experience? The only problem is, we make things far too difficult by also wanting to tweak other people. The moment you stop worrying about tweaking others, is the moment life becomes simple. Sure, there may be some negative echoes that still arrive because people at first treat you the way they perceived you in the past, but that is unavoidable: as long as we believe light speed is limited, we see each others past, and not the now! And as long as we cling to our memories of one another, the echoes remain longer.

Yes, there are very many urban myths and some of them we even consider realities. But viruses, hackers, spam, russian brides, lotteries, law suits and corporate buyouts have certain common attributes: they are either positive or negative, they involve probability, and not everybody gets as severely affected by them as everybody else. I usually narrowly escape the bad parts, and come close to the positive ones, close but no cigar. There's a wisdom in there somewhere, that I'm just about to put my finger on.....

But you can't hurry it along. And that's why tonight, I'll just go and watch Mission Impossible III because it is now being aired by my cable company, to get some 'more input', because that I know: blockbusters in movie land are literally loaded with clues to the inner workings of the Cosmos!

Tuesday, April 12th, 2010, 04:55

After Mission Impossible III had given me a loads of clues and symbolism, and awe at the sheer impossible camera paths that modern movie making seems to so generously deploy, the weirdest night followed: lay awake literally All Night Long, only to be fully rested by the time my alarm clock went. Just totally lucid dreaming the whole night!

And my mailbox held another surprise: a mail from Cindy, whom I never met, but who thoroughly confirms my 'suspicions' even way before my novel actually hits the street! Her mail, though sent to a domain I owned since recently, claims I subscribed to her service in 2006, when I only acquired the domain in 2010! It was also flagged as spam, although nobody can figure out why that would be the case, because it seems like a very normal mail message to me. So much so in fact, I posted it on my site, and sent her a nice mail in return.


Hi Cindy,


I'm not sure here, so just to check: did you send me this story so I could redistribute it? Because even though it is addressed at a mail address which no one knows is related to me, and my mail program flags it as junk mail, it is absolutely the kind of story I could use on my web log. But I've just learned that all these mechanisms like spam, viruses, scams, etc. are just that: mechanisms to get the word out.

So yes, I'll gladly post it, and it bears no copyright or anything, so I safely could right? Also it is in a private E-mail to myself, so I can safely quote since you didn't tell me it requires restriction.....

But just so you know I saw through the 'scam': I never subscribed to veremail from [email protected] simply because at that moment, I did not own the domain nothere.nl! But thanks for the very appropriate confirmation that I'm on the right track.


Come to think of it, Veremail reminds me of Vera, the spouse of Victor at a company I worked. That must have been around 2006....


Say hi to Viktor for me!


Love your Light, and your Beauty


DrΓ©


So yes, my day has succeeded before it's even virtually begun. On to another day of testing, where I'm sure there will be many other great clues in this mystery. Just like the hospital reality show yesterday before the movie, that featured two injuries which were literally experienced by members of my household: me cutting my outside of my thumb on a shard of glass in a garbage bag, and Jane falling and hurting the bottom side of her chin. Non-significant events, I'm sure, but it was weird seeing both of them on the very same show! Would love to chat, but now it's off to work!

I've come to think of it just now, that tweaking is a so-called recursive pattern. But maybe I should first try to explain recursiveness to the less computer-minded among you:

Recursion happens whenever part of a program executes itself, to solve a subset of the problem that it is facing. It is like the child's game called higher / lower, where once you've called a number and gotten the reply, you know your problem has become smaller.

One of the tricky bits of recursion is when to stop calling yourself: recursive programs are notorious sources of endless loops and stack overflows!

But tweaking is even more tricky, because a tweak alters the program before calling it again! That is what programmers call self modifying code. Now self modifying code is even trickier than recursive code, because in recursive code the end conditions are fixed. Self modifying code has no such simple guarantees: any modification might break the end condition, and render the program catatonic!

Experiments in these areas still happen, but they are preferably not used in mainstream programming, because of the risks involved.

Another programming technique is so-called genetic programming, which is a form of self modifying program that is evolved through trial and error, and survival of the fittest. Here, we obviously looked at Nature, and saw something of value. Remarkable though, when applied to practical cases, genetic programs tend to make the same initial mistakes that humans do when they solve the same problem.

Stuff like this is state of the current art, but what about state of the future art? I'm talking self-correcting, adaptive code here. Nothing Nature hasn't already figured out.... So just look around you for a change, and the next revolution in computing may be yours!

But that's the point, right? If we see the world as a perfectly spherical ocean of water, and people as objects of different densities, there are first of all those that sink, and those that float. Nothing wrong there, because denser object belong in denser conditions to thrive, right?

Of the floating objects, only the heavier ones have enough weight to make big waves by themselves, but they cannot perceive the waves that are around until they allow themselves to stop making waves. Once you stop making waves, you can be aware of the waves that are already there, so you know what is happening.

The lightest objects seemingly are driven by those heavier objects, but lets not nullify their influence: when connected, they become a sort of blanket that dampens the waves of the bigger players. And that my friends, is the essence of tweaking: masses of lightweight beings, working towards a single goal without even knowing one another. If they connect too strongly, they become a net where the water escapes through the spaces in between, and they tend to drown. Floating loosely and unattached, they are most aware of the waves on the surface, and restrict their watery habitat as little as possible. How's that for an analogy from a Pisces?

And the analogy pops up in various waves of Life: lately I've been noticing the imagery on vans and big trucks. There are blind ones, simple names and logos, names and logos with additional text, and complete advertisements. Also, you have designs that span both the truck and the trailer.

But if you observe a given stretch of road for a longer while, you find some trucks passing by daily, or even hourly, while others come by sporadically. Still others come by for the first time, something our mind knows very well: even watching thousands of photos, you can quite consistently know you've seen a certain scene before, if only once. Well, maybe that is a fluke that just happens to me, but I figure anyone can do that.

Anyway, once you start observing with an open mind, you'll soon find phrases like β€œSure we can”, β€œDon't Worry”, β€œTransports Air”, β€œIntelligent Logistics”, and many, many more. I haven't yet done a full analysis on what you can expect, because from your vantage point it may not even look that way, but for me these types of weird coincidences make me laugh out loud sometimes...

Saturday, April 17th, 2010, 04:42

Today I am somewhat in conflict, but in a good way. I'm going to break my word in a manner of speaking, but only because I know Jolene will forgive me, in a way will even silently applaud me for it!

Just like I knew Henk, the psychic that helped me at age 35 to remember my vow at age eight, was lying when he told me his Thursday meetings were ending, I just know Jolene meant just about the complete opposite of what she told me: she asked me not to tell anyone about her life, but

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