The Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals by Charles Darwin (adult books to read TXT) 📕

The habit, so general with every one who feels ashamed, of turning away, or lowering his eyes, or restlessly moving them from side to side, probably follows from each glance directed towards those present, bringing home the conviction that he is intently regarded; and he endeavours, by not looking at those present, and especially not at their eyes, momentarily to escape from this painful conviction.

Shyness.—This odd state of mind, often called shamefacedness, or false shame, or mauvaise honte, appears to be one of the most efficient of all the causes of blushing. Shyness is, indeed, chiefly recognized by the face reddening, by the eyes being averted or cast down, and by awkward, nervous movements of the body.

Many a woman blushes from this cause, a hundred, perhaps a thousand times, to once that she blushes from having done anything deserving blame, and of which she is truly ashamed.

Shyness seems to depend on sensitiveness to the opinion, whether good or bad, of others, more especially with respect to external appearance. Strangers neither know nor care anything about our conduct or character, but they may, and often do, criticize our appearance: hence shy persons are particularly apt to be shy and to blush in the presence of strangers.

The consciousness of anything peculiar, or even new, in the dress, or any slight blemish on the person, and more especially, on the face—

points which are likely to attract the attention of strangers—

makes the shy intolerably shy. On the other hand, in those cases in which conduct and not personal appearance is concerned, we are much more apt to be shy in the presence of acquaintances, whose judgment we in some degree value, than in that of strangers.

A physician told me that a young man, a wealthy duke, with whom he had travelled as medical attendant, blushed like a girl, when he paid him his fee; yet this young man probably would not have blushed and been shy, had he been paying a bill to a tradesman.

Some persons, however, are so sensitive, that the mere act of speaking to almost any one is sufficient to rouse their self-consciousness, and a slight blush is the result.

Disapprobation or ridicule, from our sensitiveness on this head, causes shyness and blushing much more readily than does approbation; though the latter with some persons is highly efficient.

The conceited are rarely shy; for they value themselves much too highly to expect depreciation. Why a proud man is often shy, as appears to be the case, is not so obvious, unless it be that, with all his self-reliance, he really thinks much about the opinion of others although in a disdainful spirit.

Persons who are exceedingly shy are rarely shy in the presence of those with whom they are quite familiar, and of whose good opinion and sympathy they are perfectly assured;—

for instance, a girl in the presence of her mother.

I neglected to inquire in my printed paper whether shyness can be detected in the different races of man; but a Hindoo gentleman assured Mr. Erskine that it is recognizable in his countrymen.

Shyness, as the derivation of the word indicates in several languages,[27] is closely related to fear; yet it is distinct from fear in the ordinary sense. A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them, he may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.

Almost every one is extremely nervous when first addressing a public assembly, and most men remain so throughout their lives; but this appears to depend on the consciousness of a great coming exertion, with its associated effects on the system, rather than on shyness;[28] although a timid or shy man no doubt suffers on such occasions infinitely more than another.

With very young children it is difficult to distinguish between fear and shyness; but this latter feeling with them has often seemed to me to partake of the character of the wildness of an untamed animal. Shyness comes on at a very early age.

In one of my own children, when two years and three months old, I saw a trace of what certainly appeared to be shyness, directed towards myself after an absence from home of only a week.

This was shown not by a blush, but by the eyes being for a few minutes slightly averted from me. I have noticed on other occasions that shyness or shamefacedness and real shame are exhibited in the eyes of young children before they have acquired the power of blushing.

[27] H. Wedgwood, Dict. English Etymology, vol. iii. 1865, p. 184.

So with the Latin word verecundus.

As shyness apparently depends on self-attention, we can perceive how right are those who maintain that reprehending children for shyness, instead of doing them any good, does much harm, as it calls their attention still more closely to themselves.

It has been well urged that “nothing hurts young people more than to be watched continually about their feelings, to have their countenances scrutinized, and the degrees of their sensibility measured by the surveying eye of the unmerciful spectator.

Under the constraint of such examinations they can think of nothing but that they are looked at, and feel nothing but shame or apprehension.”[29]

[28] Mr. Bain (`The Emotions and the Will,’ p. 64) has discussed the “abashed” feelings experienced on these occasions, as well as the stage-fright of actors unused to the stage.

Mr. Bain apparently attributes these feelings to simple apprehension or dread.

[29] `Essays on Practical Education,’ by Maria and R. L. Edgeworth, new edit. vol. ii. 1822, p. 38. Dr. Burgess (ibid. p.

187) insists strongly to the same effect.

Moral causes: guilt.—With respect to blushing from strictly moral causes, we meet with the same fundamental principle as before, namely, regard for the opinion of others.

It is not the conscience which raises a blush, for a man may sincerely regret some slight fault committed in solitude, or he may suffer the deepest remorse for an undetected crime, but he will not blush.

“I blush,” says Dr. Burgess,[30] “in the presence of my accusers.”

It is not the sense of guilt, but the thought that others think or know us to be guilty which crimsons the face. A man may feel thoroughly ashamed at having told a small falsehood, without blushing; but if he even suspects that he is detected he will instantly blush, especially if detected by one whom he reveres.

On the other hand, a man may be convinced that God witnesses all his actions, and he may feel deeply conscious of some fault and pray for forgiveness; but this will not, as a lady who is a great blusher believes, ever excite a blush. The explanation of this difference between the knowledge by God and man of our actions lies, I presume, in man’s disapprobation of immoral conduct being somewhat akin in nature to his depreciation of our personal appearance, so that through association both lead to similar results; whereas the disapprobation of God brings up no such association.

Many a person has blushed intensely when accused of some crime, though completely innocent of it. Even the thought, as the lady before referred to has observed to me, that others think that we have made an unkind or stupid remark, is amply sufficient to cause a blush, although we know all the time that we have been completely misunderstood.

An action may be meritorious or of an indifferent nature, but a sensitive person, if he suspects that others take a different view of it, will blush.

For instance, a lady by herself may give money to a beggar without a trace of a blush, but if others are present, and she doubts whether they approve, or suspects that they think her influenced by display, she will blush.

So it will be, if she offers to relieve the distress of a decayed gentlewoman, more particularly of one whom she had previously known under better circumstances, as she cannot then feel sure how her conduct will be viewed.

But such cases as these blend into shyness.

[29{sic, should be 30}] `Essays on Practical Education,’

by Maria and R. L. Edgeworth, new edit. vol. ii. 1822, p. 50.

Breaches of etiquette.—The rules of etiquette always refer to conduct in the presence of, or towards others. They have no necessary connection with the moral sense, and are often meaningless.

Nevertheless as they depend on the fixed custom of our equals and superiors, whose opinion we highly regard, they are considered almost as binding as are the laws of honour to a gentleman.

Consequently the breach of the laws of etiquette, that is, any impoliteness or gaucherie, any impropriety, or an inappropriate remark, though quite accidental, will cause the most intense blushing of which a man is capable. Even the recollection of such an act, after an interval of many years, will make the whole body to tingle.

So strong, also, is the power of sympathy that a sensitive person, as a lady has assured me, will sometimes blush at a flagrant breach of etiquette by a perfect stranger, though the act may in no way concern her.

Modesty.—This is another powerful agent in exciting blushes; but the word modesty includes very different states of the mind.

It implies humility, and we often judge of this by persons being greatly pleased and blushing at slight praise, or by being annoyed at praise which seems to them too high according to their own humble standard of themselves. Blushing here has the usual signification of regard for the opinion of others.

But modesty frequently relates to acts of indelicacy; and indelicacy is an affair of etiquette, as we clearly see with the nations that go altogether or nearly naked.

He who is modest, and blushes easily at acts of this nature, does so because they are breaches of a firmly and wisely established etiquette. This is indeed shown by the derivation of the word modest from modus, a measure or standard of behaviour.

A blush due to this form of modesty is, moreover, apt to be intense, because it generally relates to the opposite sex; and we have seen how in all cases our liability to blush is thus increased.

We apply the term `modest,’ as it would appear, to those who have an humble opinion of themselves, and to those who are extremely sensitive about an indelicate word or deed, simply because in both cases blushes are readily excited, for these two frames of mind have nothing else in common.

Shyness also, from this same cause, is often mistaken for modesty in the sense of humility.

Some persons flush up, as I have observed and have been assured, at any sudden and disagreeable recollection. The commonest cause seems to be the sudden remembrance of not having done something for another person which had been promised.

In this case it may be that the thought passes half unconsciously through the mind, “What will he think of me?”

and then the flush would partake of the nature of a true blush.

But whether such flushes are in most cases due to the capillary circulation being affected, is very doubtful; for we must remember that almost every strong emotion, such as anger or great joy,