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6 - Make It Happen

 "Each of them plays into a theme. You may not immediately see it, but it’s there.

If you want your life to be different, you have to make it happen. All of the thinking or meditating or planning or anti-anxiety medication in the world isn’t going to improve your life if you’re not willing to go out and take action and make changes. You can’t sit around waiting for the right mood to strike to for life to play out the way you want it to. Nor can you rely on positive thinking alone to transform things for the better. You have to go out and do.

 

One of the ironic things about developing our mind and our mindset is that it can actually keep us from acting on the things we really need to act on. You can become a personal development drone. You know tons of cool shit but it’s made little or no difference to the trajectory of your life.

 

We think, “As soon as I get rid of my worry or discomfort, I’ll start dating again”. Or, “When I find the root of my procrastination or when I find something to motivate me, I’ll be completely unleashed and happy”. The desire to work on our “procrastination” just leaves us stuck in the cycle of procrastination/not procrastination and keeps us even further from forwarding our actual lives.

We’re waiting on that moment or experience when everything in our mind is just perfect. Our thoughts are clear, our emotions our positive, and our anxiety or worry has completely disappeared.

 

When we feel “off”, we put our lives off. That’s right, you’re waiting on a feeling.

Life doesn’t work like that. There is no perfect mood. And while you’re waiting on it to improve and miraculously make your life better eh, guess what? Your life isn’t getting any better! None of these assertions are going to make your life easy. Hell, for a while, it’s more than likely to make your life harder! Nor is it enough to simply internalize them. You need to act on them.

It’s this simple, in order to improve your internal world, you have to start by taking action in the external world. Get out of your mind, and get out into your life."

Chapter 7 - Extreme Upset

 "None of this means you can’t plan, or that I’m telling you to walk through life aimlessly without direction

or goals.

But when you make a plan, what do you have to gain from being welded to the expectations inherent in it? Nothing. When you are free from its expectations you are “in a dance” with life where you can simply execute the plan, and deal with what happens.

If it succeeds, you can celebrate. If it fails, you can re-calibrate.

Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat. The expectation of people loving you or respecting you or a pointless exercise too. Be free to love them the way they are and be loved the way that they love you. Free yourself from the burden and melodrama of expectation, let the chips fall where they may.

 

Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have.

“I expect nothing and accept everything.” This simple personal assertion gets you out of your head and powerfully into your life, out of your thoughts and into your reality. Problems, barriers, disagreements and disappointments are all part of every human beings’ life.

Your job is to not get caught up in that crap, to stay out of the swamp of mediocrity and drama, to reach for your greatest self, your greatest potential and to challenge yourself to live that life every single day of it.

Your life, your success, your happiness, really is in your own hands. The power to change, the power to let go, be adventurous and embrace your potential all lies within your reach. Remember, no one can save you, no one can shift you, all of that is your responsibility and what better time to embrace that change than now?"

 

"Instead of silently expecting something and feeling slighted when it doesn’t happen, let go of that expectation. If there’s something you want, how about asking for it with no expectation? And when you do something positive or generous, do it because you genuinely want to rather than loading in the added weight of what you expect in return.

That game of tit for tat only hurts you both in the long run.

 

If it’s something serious that consistently challenges the relationship, confront the other party about it. Don’t expect them to realize how you feel or, by the same token, expect them to be able to change how you feel. They can’t. Only you can do that.

People are always going to lie, steal, cheat, and everything else one can imagine. It’s just not connected to reality to live in the expectation that they somehow won’t and then throw a hissy fit when they do it anyway. Remember, in those cases, you always end up worse off than they do! Much worse!

 

You end up sticking yourself with resentment, regret, anger or frustration. Remember, they’re not doing that to you, you’re doing that part to yourself! You really can accept things for what they are. It doesn’t mean you condone them or that you won’t decisively change them, this is about becoming masterful with your mind and your emotional state. It’s about quieting the mind and allowing yourself to act with power in the situations of your life rather than succumbing to your internal and external upsets."

Chapter 8 - Bothering

 "The next time you catch yourself getting brought down by your expectations, shift things in a different direction. Instead of getting your knickers in a twist about how things didn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected them to, simply accept them for what they are. In that moment you are now freed up to deal with them.

“This is appropriate.” When you’re having growing pains at your new job, take a step back and realize how appropriate that really is. Of course a new job is going to take some getting used to, whether it’s the tasks you’re performing or the people you work with. It’s therefore entirely appropriate to make a few mistakes or tread carefully as you try to get to know your new colleagues. The expectations dissolve right there, immediately.

If your relationship is struggling, change your perspective and get the whole picture. What are your expectations?

Many of us expect our partners to be a certain way consistently, or to anticipate our needs and know exactly what we’re feeling, as if by magic. But your partner, like you, is an imperfect human with his or her own set of complicated emotions and thoughts. So it’s appropriate that they may sometimes be distracted or get short with you after a bad day."

 

Note: The problem as far as it appears is that by giving meaning to things which are out of our zone… it creates concern by itself stress, anxiety. This so far sounds as bad as hell… more likely typical depression… THE PERFECT TIP WHICH YOU CAN GET IS STOP BOTHERING AROUND THINGS WHICH ARE NEGATIVE, OUT OF YOUR PATH…. OUT OF BEING STATE OF CONFIDENCE…"

 

 

Chapter 9 - It's Wrong

 The problems with such paths is suicide, homicide… killing others… depression, anxiety… and the moron thing about the whole thing is that is pure swallowing air and wanting food to be made with main ingredients air.


STOP, STOP, STOP… Putting yourself on pedestal.… it's wrong!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 10 - How To Stop Self-Monitoring

 "How To Stop Self-Monitoring

1. First you have to realize when you are self-monitoring. You have to
“catch yourself in the act.” This can be hard at first. When you realize you are
self-monitoring, you then have to...

 


2. Switch your focus. Your attention never stops. It canĘĽt be shut off or
lowered, only directed. One of the most important things you can do to
overcome your SA is to focus your attention in a way that will serve you
instead of holding you back.

 


In a social situation, if you think about all the things you are doing wrong,
and are focused on not embarrassing yourself, you will end up “playing it
safe.” You might say as little as possible and when you do speak, youʼll be
self- conscious and itĘĽll come across weird. But if your focus is on getting to
know others and sharing laughs with them, you will fit right in and people will
accept you into the group. If you are totally immersed in a conversation so that
all you are thinking about is what is being discussed, then the words will come
automatically and spontaneously. Again, this is a simple shift of focus.


If you are just walking by yourself and feeling self-conscious, you can still
switch your focus to something else. Think about being on the beach. Count
to one hundred. Observe and become fascinated in

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