How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) by DeYtH Banger (all ebook reader .TXT) 📕
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- Author: DeYtH Banger
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RULE 4
ALWAYS demonstrate high value.
Women are looking for a man that is in a higher position than they are mentally and emotionally.
This does not means they are looking for a guy who is richer than they are or who has a good job, or who has a high social status. The truth is, they are looking for a man who is stronger than them in regards to his character and sense of direction, and what he wants out of life!
Weakness is a major TURN OFF for women! Uncertainty and having an apologetic nature will totally RUIN your chances of attracting women.
RULE 5
Always be closing.
Men often end up in the dreaded ‘friend zone’ as a result of a multitude of reasons ( Including the lack of understanding of all the elements mentioned above) But the main reason why guys simply end up as the forever ‘lovable companion’, is because they fFAIL to CLOSE or SEAL the deal with the girl they like. Men get side tracked, they lose their nerve, their miss opportunities, and they
just simply DO NOT know what to do!
The ability to escalate the interaction from something plutonic to something sexual is as skill in itself , and it is something myself and my incredible team of both male and female instructors on the team teach men how to do on our PICK UP COURSES.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A GIRL
What you should not say to a girl
1) “I bet you get hit on all the times by guys”
NO NO NO! Stop giving her so much validation, regardless of whether she gets hit on all the time or not! If you mention it, you are either immediately playing up to her ego or reminding her of the reality she faces every time she goes out to a club.
You automatically put yourself in a lower position in the interaction and plus you are essentially saying to her “ And so I’m just another one of those guys who will be hitting on you too” You gain nothing from telling her this, and in fact you will make it even harder for yourself if you do.
2) “I feel nervous..”
Never tell a girl that she’s making you nervous or convey any message that your unsure or anxious when you’re around her. A lot of guys think that this will gain them sympathy and that as a result she will somehow give him a break. Although she can indeed feel sympathy towards you, it will never result in giving you that break. In fact, she will just see you as the sweet nervous guy that gave it a shot. Girls do not sleep with guys out of sympathy! And nerves, as endearing as they might be, are not a turn on.
3) “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Never ask her this. There are many ways to find out if she is with someone, but an outright question like this will show her what your intention is way too soon, and very often girls will reply yes, even if their ‘boyfriend’ is just someone she is casually dating. As soon as she says ‘yes’, there will be a massive shift in the interaction, and that shift will not be a positive one.
4) “I bet you hear this all the time..”
Like the first point, it immediately puts you in the same category as the men who HAVE said it to her before. It also unnecessarily feeds her ego. Whatever it is that you want to say to her, say it without a hint of apology or uncertainty, and if you genuinely feel that it does sound like a cliche then try something else that is more unique.
5) “Can I have your number?”
Never say “can I” It sounds like you are asking her permission, instead there are dozens of other ways to get her number without having to use the dreaded ‘Can I..” option.
A command such as “Put your number in my phone..” will be way more effective. Always presume she has agreed without asking.
THE ART OF SELF MARKETING
The Art Of Self Marketing
In this article, I want to share a short excerpt from my latest book ‘How To Make Her Want You’ which touches on the value of self marketing.
Self promotion is vital when it comes to achieving success with women, and it is often overlooked by most dating coaches. Most other dating coaches will encourage their students to just be themselves, which is good advice if just being youself has served you well in the past, however, I suspect that’s not the case if someone feels the need to go to a dating coach in the first place.
Now I admit that the phrase ‘self marketing’ does sound a little clinical and even slightly calculated, but in my experience from helping thousands of men over the last 10 years, it’s much better to go in with a self marketing strategy than the alternative which is just a lazy free style approach that depends heavily on luck.
Instead of approaching a woman with the mindset of :
“Well I hope we just kind of click”
Or:
“I hope the conversation flows well so she can get to see my best qualities at some point”
Make the choice to take control of the situation and focus on conveying the very best and most attractive version of your self from the very start.
Here is the short excerpt from my book:
‘You have five minutes to sell your most valuable product’
The reason why women probably keep seeing you as just the Nice Guy (even though you now know that you’re so much more than just that) is because on some level, this is how you have chosen to present yourself. You most likely have chosen a weak marketing campaign to sell your most valuable product. YOU.
Take this for example:
I want you to think of your three best attributes. One of those attributes could be your own particular brand of humour or your ability to connect with others, one of them could be your altruistic nature, your informed views on current affairs, your intellect, your playfulness, another one could be your passion for your work, your happy-go-lucky positivity, it could even be your witty cynicisms. Whatever those three attributes are, I want you to ask yourself this one question:
“How often do I convey those three attributes within in the first five minutes or ten minutes or even twenty minutes of an interaction?”
The answer probably is hardly ever. Which is one of the reasons for why you are failing to make a strong impact. You have chosen to conceal your most valuable assets, maybe with the intention to reveal them at a later stage, like some sort of dramatic plot twist half way into a movie, but in reality if you wait that long, then she will probably mentally block out the possibility of getting to really know you before you even get the opportunity to make that ‘plot twist’, and as a result, the unnecessary delay will make the whole process of building up attraction a lot more difficult to achieve. You can’t afford to wait for the right moment to convey your attributes, or prolong the interaction until you’re comfortable and relaxed enough to finally be your true attractive and authentic self.
There’s no way to sugar-coat this, but you’ve got around 2-15 minutes to shine with a woman, and when I say shine, I don’t mean you should sell yourself like some sort of a stripper desperate to make an extra twenty-bucks on the last hour of her shift. When I use the term shine it means you need to make sure that you are adequately using your ‘time slot’ in order to show her your best attributes, and to connect with her and make impact in a completely NON-NEEDY way, and that’s the hard part that I’m hopefully going to make a lot easier for you to accomplish by the end of this chapter..
ARE WOMEN ONLY ATTRACTED TO SUCCESSFUL MEN?
Because this is not a questions that can be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ I will answer this question in stages.
Firstly, success in a man is usually considered to be an attractive quality. Success is indicative of self belief, self empowerment and it is associated with someone possessing strength in character, these are the root reason for why success can be a powerful attraction trigger. However, a man can convey these exact same attractive attributes without having a successful career. A man can display confidence, self belief, strength of character and high value without having accolade or prestige.
The ability to attract women without relying on achievements, status and bank statements is essentially what I believe men should be focusing on improving.
It’s a little like a beautiful woman who relies solely on her looks until they eventually fade as opposed to a less physically blessed women who has had to work on her personality throughout her life The latter will be able to attract more men because she has the skills to attract without relying on her diminishing beauty.
A successful or wealthy man can often lazily rely on his prestige and achievements to generate him results, which begs the question; What if he lost that success? What would he have left to rely on? How would he cope going back to ground zero?
A few years ago, an out of work actor enrolled onto my Mastery Program. He turned out to be an actor who used to play a leading role in a hugely popular soap drama in the UK. He hadn’t been on TV for at least a decade, and as a result he had found himself falling into deep slump of depression. He told me how easy it was to attract women when he was on TV, all he had to do was walk into a bar or club and women would throw themselves at him. But as time went on, and his fame withered, so did his success rate with women. He had relied on the accolade and neglected the core skills to attract women.
When the external trappings have disappeared you essentially only have your character, conversation banter, presence, inner confidence and game to fall back on.
So why not focus on both?
Why not take care of your career, your social life and health without neglecting the other key area of your life? Your dating, sex and love life needs just as much attention and investment.
Millions of men are frustrated, and who can blame them? For years society has told them that so long as they got a good job, worked hard and became a financially comfortable, then success with women would follow, only to find out that having these kind of assets have made hardly any difference to their success rate with women.
Around 80% of the men who attend my 7-Day Mastery Program are considered ‘successful’ where their careers are concerned, and yet, they still struggled to attract women. Tyler, who is 34, and hugely successful had finally realised that nothing was really working for him. In the induction on day one of his program with us, I asked him how much time and effort in the last 10 years he had put into his work, his social life and going to the gym It turned out that almost 90% of his time was dedicated to making his career go from strength to strength, and the other 10% was spent on looking good (gym) and keeping up to date with his friends. No wonder he was struggling to attract the kind of women he wanted to be with. For too many years, he had blindly followed the popular but ultimately misleading mantra : “First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women”
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