Coming Out Of The Pain by Anna Harris (read full novel txt) 📕

my home town
in the shores of my home
town, oh, oh in the shores
of my home town...

I looked at him, he had tears in his eyes, Joe missed his hometown, where he grew up, a kid playing near the ocean, playing his guitar
on the sand, I could see him there, all alone, I smile at the thought, he smiles back.
"What are you thinking baby?"
"I love that song, every time I hear that song it gets to me Joe, is like I can see it in my mind"
"I wanted to find someone like you when I wrote that song"
"Really?", he left his guitar on the side of the bed.
"Yeah, I did, a New Jersey kid, who left his shores to follow his parents when they moved, I had missed those shores ever since", we kissed again, that night it was sweet with him, Joe was a tough guy but he knew how to be sweet too, it was just a matter of emotions.

We got up early to go go and get the guys, the instruments were already in one of the vans that Rick was driving, Joe was driving his own
car, I knew it was going to be an experience, it was cold and the chilly air got to me, I didn't like cold weather very much but being close to
Joe make me feel warm. He put the radio on and we were singing a few of the songs, it was a nice ride until I mentioned his father.
"Does your father knows you are playing this clubs?"
"What kind of a question is that?", he turned the radio off.
"Oh come on Joe, don't get upset, is just a question"
"That I won't care to answer", his mood was changed, he truly dislike talking about his father.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean for you to get upset"
"Well, I just did, thank you", he was harsh, he could get like that sometimes.
"Don't treat me like that Joe, don't be mean to me", I was trying to sound as harsh as him but my eyes were filled with tears, I just
dropped my head and tears slided across my face, he reached for it with his hand.
"Baby, I am sorry, I hate talking about that", his fingers trailing my tears.
"I shouldn't have asked"
"Sometimes I blow my top when I have to remember the things I went through because of him", his face got tighten.
"Joe, You know that you can talk to me about anything", I said holding his hand on my face.
"Yeah, I know baby, I just don't feel about talking about it, o.k.", he holded my chin.
"O.k., if you don't want to I understand", he had a big burden, it was all inside him eating him up but I couldn't offer much advice because
I had a burden too, all the years of solitude, my sister's illness, my mother working hard in a factory to raise us the best way she could,
the family problems, all of that was something I carried and it was not easy, you could think that with time you forget all that but the truth
is pain never goes away completly, is hard to let go.
"I was mean and I am sorry", he knew he had hurt me.
"Lets just drop it Joe, no harm done"
"Are you hungry?, we can stop and eat something", he smile.
"Sure, I am hungry", he did a signal to the guys as we approach a diner, the guys sat on a table and we sat alone in another.
"Good afternoon, how can I help you?", the waiter asked, a young guy around twenty eight.
"Yes, we will have two hamburgers, with the thin sliced fried potatoes, will have two cokes", the waiter smiled at me, Joe looked
jealous but he tried to let it go, after a while the waiter came with the orders.
"Any thing else?", he looked at me again, Joe was trying to restrain for making a jealous scene.
"No nothing, thanks", I said.
"Why does he look at you that way?", he was upset, I could tell.
"Joe, let it go, he is just trying to be nice", I knew the waiter was checking me out but I had to make Joe feel less jealous.
"Baby, I am not blind"
"Would you please just let it go, lets eat in peace, o.k.", he didn't say another word, we ate in silence, Joe seemed to be in a rotten
mood, I knew he was nervous about the up coming performance, it was only natural, he always thought about not being good enough. I
thought his father was to blame for all of that. We finished eating and I went to the bathroom so Joe could pay and somehow
avoid the waiter, a few minutes later we were in the car again.
"Thank you baby", he kissed my face.
"For what?"
"You know why, now lets get going", after that he seemed to be in a better mood, he turned the radio again, the rest of the time it was
pleasent, we arrived to the club and he talked to the manager, they set up the stage and they checked the sound, everything was good
so we just left the club for some relaxing time, we still had a few hours before the concert, Joe and I wanted to walk by the beach so
we walked hand in hand looking at the ocean, the seagulls around us.
"Nice place", he commented.
"Its cold", he was wearing his leather jacket and I was wearing mine, the breeze was cool.
"Yeah, it sure is", he held me closer, it felt so good to be able to be held like that, how many times I dreamed about someone like him.
"Joe, do you want a record deal?", I dare to asked him.
"No, baby, not now, I know I should but is not the right time, not yet", he was scare I could see it in his face.
"What happens if someone offers you one?", I was more scare than him, he could become famous and that would make an strain in our
relationship.
"I don't want one now, I did twenty years ago, now all I need is to keep playing", he was sincere.
"How about the guys?, what do they want?"
"I guess they dream with that, I haven't asked", he got serious, it was a touchy subject.
"You should think about it Joe"
"For what?, the minute that happens, they can go their way", he knew darn well that he made the band even better.
"Why are you scare of signing for a record label?"
"Baby, I don't want to be famous or in a cover of a magazine, all I want is to do music, besides I rather play the clubs and be with
you", I could tell he was very emotional.
"I don't want to loose you but I want you to be happy"
"I am happy this way, I am, is all I need", he kissed my lips.
"Being happy is what counts", he smile.
"Didn't you want something when you were twenty and now you don't want it any more?", he asked me seriously.
"Yeah, I did, I wanted to sing for an audience and now I could care less, I enjoy watching you on stage"
"You see, thats what I mean", he held me closer to his body and we kept walking by the ocean as the icy breeze caressed our faces.

The club was packed, his voice came loud and clear, the people were enjoying his music, I was watching the expressions on his face and
the good time the band was having, a thought crossed my mind, what would really happened if someone offered them a record deal?, I knew
Joe didn't want that, he was forty years old and he had been free for a long time, he was not the man to sign a contract to some label,
I knew it, maybe the guys just wanted to stick to him and play around with nothing more, I hoped that was true. The crowd was enjoying
the songs, they were good, too good. After the show was over, the owner offered him some more days in the future, he had another
band committed to the place for two weeks after that they could return and do a few shows, Joe was pleased, that is all he wanted, he
had a smile on his face. It was too late to drive back to Miami so we stayed in a hotel that night, he was getting out of the bathroom.
"Is cozy in here", he looked at me as always writing in bed.
"It is, Joe the show was great", he seemed satisfied.
"Yeah, it was great, the sound was nearly perfect", as always a perfectionist, I left my notebook on the lamp table.
"Joe, sing that song of the shores of my home town", I loved that song, it made my heart feel warm.
"Sure baby", he began to play softly...

little girl take my hand and
come to the shores of my
home town....

His voice always made me feel complete in a way nothing did in life, it took me to a place where everything was perfect, I loved the sounds
of the guitar on a cool winter's night, I was there with a guy I loved, all that was needed was to forget the times when life was painful
but I was sure that Joe felt the same way, coming out of the pain was not easy, we were trying as hard as we could and music was an
essential element in just letting go, for the guys in the band it was different, that night I discovered that they probably wanted something
different and Joe had to face that truth sooner or later but I wasn't going to bring it up, all I wanted was to hear his clear voice in a
cold December night in a hotel room near the ocean.


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Publication Date: 01-25-2011

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