Beyond Hilly Horizons by Kalai Selvi Arivalagan (snow like ashes .txt) 📕

changed during these four years.

Sylvia could not eat anything other than plain idlis with sugar or rice with curd. When every one was having varieties of food, she could not eat other than the bland food. She had to give up her favorite pickle also. Even after having bland food, one day, she started to have stools with mucus and pain in the stomach. When the doctor asked her if she had anything unknowingly, she could not suppress her tears. Sylvia felt she had lost her physical strength and could not think about anything.

Sylvia even tried the method that Gandhi had written in his autobiography, ‘My Experiments with truth’. She took some red soil and mixed with the water to form a thick paste. She placed the red soil paste inside a thin cloth and wrapped it like a bundle. She would place the little bundle of red soil paste on her stomach and tried to take away the heat from the stomach. Her entire body would be cool but her stomach would be so hot to touch. She placed the bundle on her stomach and waited for the pain to subside. To her surprise, the pain started to decrease and there was no heat on her stomach.

Sylvia’s brain also felt tired and she could not concentrate and write. Lying on the bed, Sylvia thought about the relation between the soul and the body. Before she was down with ulcer, she used to do yoga and meditation every day in the morning. Meditation helped her to build up her concentration level and it also helped her to feel the presence of sub-conscious mind. Sylvia was only eighteen years old, when she started to feel the pangs of ulcer.

Though teenage dreams accompanied her to make her feel happy and cheerful, she could not enjoy life. She dreaded to think about the stomach pain and felt that she was nearing the end of her life. Sometimes she felt her soul was watching the sufferings of the body and it was desperately waiting to get relieved from her body of flesh and bones. With a shudder she closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep.

Chapter 9

Lying on the bed, Sylvia looked at the tiles on the roof. No one was there at home. Her mother was busy in the kitchen as usual. Sylvia counted the number of days she was ill like that. It was more than three weeks. For the past three weeks, she was on liquid diet. Her mother mixed her a thin mixture of Horlicks in water. She was drinking that diluted mixture for more than three times a day. If she ate few mouthful of plain rice with curd, her stomach immediately churned them out with pain. The mere thought of eating solid food and rushing to the toilet made her shudder with pain. The thin mixture of Horlicks only stayed inside her bowels and she had to be satisfied with that.

Sylvia lost weight and now she looked skinny and pale. She could not even stand out and brush her teeth. She had to sit on the steps at the front door and brush her teeth. Sylvia sometimes thought about Toru Dutt who died at a young age of 21. Now she could realize how painful it would be to die when one was young. But the pain and strain that she felt at every twist of the stomach muscles made her feel that death would not be so painful.

While all these were going on, there was one more story track in line. Sylvia’s parents started to look for a bride groom and get her married soon. Her sister who was only one and half years younger was there standing closely to her and waiting for the track to be cleared for her chance. People who were impressed with her good looks in the photo and her educational qualifications, turned away after seeing her in person.

In a traditional tamilian family, when a prospective bride groom visits the house of his bride-to-be, it meant a lot not only to the bride to be, but to her entire family. The whole family waited in suspense till they get back the word from the bridegroom’s family. Every time when someone came to their house to see Sylvia, her mother would ask her sister not come in front of the guests.

One night after one such visit, Sylvia’s sister started to yell at her.

‘Till you are here, I will not get married. Why do you stand in my way?’

Sylvia could not suppress her tears. Streams of tears started to flow from her eyes and she stood there without speaking a word. Before leaving the house, the boy who had come there to see Sylvia told her father that he wanted to marry Sylvia’s sister. Her father was quite upset with this and asked the boy to get lost. Her parents started to worry about Sylvia’s future.

‘I don’t want to marry anyone. Leave me alone.’ Sylvia replied with a sob.

‘Ma, let me study. I don’t want to get married now.’ Sylvia’s heart was heavy with pain. Yet, her parents were stubborn to see her get married first, and then think about her sister.

Chapter 10

Sylvia looked into the dark night. It was raining heavily for the last three days and it was too cold. There was no electricity and there was only moon light. The full moon sailed across the sky and peeped out of the clouds in the sky. Sylvia and her siblings sat at the steps at the front door and were watching at the tiny glow worms or tiny flies that flew near the banana trees.

The green lights flickered in the dark and Sylvia’s brother tried to catch one or two fire flies. He was lucky to catch one and brought it to Sylvia. Sylvia placed the glow worm on her left palm and watched it with wonder. When her brother asked her to put it in an empty bottle, she let the glow worm fly into the dark.

Just like the sudden climax in a story, a turning point came into Sylvia’s life also. Sylvia got married within a matter of four weeks. She met her bridegroom only at the wedding hall where their marriage was solemnized. Sylvia told her consent for marriage with a wish that everything would turn out well. But, life had in store, a different challenge for her to face. With hopes, she proceeded to live her life.

Cold nights of the rainy seasons shiver and curl me up inside.
Dark seems to soothe me - my body, my mind, everything
I keep myself warm near the fire with lapsing thoughts on my mind
Is it suitable to have a passionate lover by my side on a cold night like this!
No, No. it's absurd to think so!
Emotions vanish away like clouds which always change its shape.
Chilled winds of the west pricks me,
I am shifted to-wards another thought
A real companion near my seat shall be suitable to discuss something!
Cheer up my heart for a while! Still my thoughts wander far away
In the dim light of a melting candle it's really wonderful to meditate
Meditate in the name of God.
I feel to be inside a maze,
I know the way to go out, still I can't come out.
Peeping rays of moon and stars chuckles louder at my puzzled mind
Now I realize – Meditation – let peace rule me by sleep
My mind shuts away the puzzles.
Now, nothing can enter my heart for I have become one, beyond everything
A daring lover or a silent companion or the real beauty of nature
Nothing can make me feel at rest to enjoy an eternal peace of mind
Calmness seem to enclose around me, around the whole world,
Believing dawn to be near, I lay down saying my prayers.

End Imprint

Text: Kalai Selvi Arivalagan
Publication Date: 11-18-2009

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Where my dreams have their roots