The Orb by Monica Gillespie (best book series to read TXT) 📕

as my leading examples I know I have to take every necessary step to save my marriage. More than anything, I know I want to have a home for my children and grandchildren to come to – always- and I know that I want to grow old surrounded by the family I created. For that vision and dream to come true I need Joseph by my side.

Perhaps I had to come to terms with the role Christian played in my life to focus on my future. In many ways last night shut the door on my childhood and opened the double doors to my life as an adult. An emotional adult.

As Christian pulls out of the driveway I look heavenward and feel the rays of sunshine upon my face. “I love you paw paw.” I say quietly. I can see his wink and feel his embrace when I close my eyes. Retreating inside, where everyone is still asleep, I settle into his recliner. I wonder how long his smell will remain here and almost get up, so as to not quicken its demise.

Family is the true orb of our existence. For most of us, our children, our grandchildren and beyond are our opportunities to leave behind nuggets of ourselves. It is doubtful that granddaddy knew that his second born granddaughter was so deeply immersed in her connection to him and their shared passion and ability to love unconditionally. We never had deep conversations, what I know of him was mostly through stories and quiet observation. But somehow I know that he quietly understood and also recognized the similarities we shared. Sitting in his chair I can hear his wisdom and understanding in the same way he shared it in the car that day with Christian and me.

“Little girl, sometimes you can’t control where your heart goes. Be thankful it is large enough to hold all the love you possess. Lord knows I never did like that little prick, Christian, but one cannot judge the love of another. But, Joseph, he’s a damn good man. Don’t forget that. You know what is important dear. You know what to do with your love for both of these men.”

I do. Rising from his chair, I go get the others up, stopping first by grandma’s bed and kissing his picture that rests beside her.

Walking into the funeral home and witnessing the family that has been brought together during this time of sadness fills me with love and hope greater than I have ever experienced. Fortunate are those that can know there is always a net into which you can fall and a hand of guidance that can be found within the arms of your family.

Taking Joseph’s hand, I lead him to edge of the parking lot. His eyes portray heavy emotions. They are filled with the sadness of the loss of a man he admired, and fear that his own family is outside of his grasp.

“I love you to the moon and back, Joseph Rearden, and I can’t wait to grow old with you just as grandma and granddaddy did.” I kiss him with all the passion that lives inside me. When we break from our embrace I notice the faraway glances of my parents, grandma, Dori, Mary… and Christian, who grins and lowers his head as he descends into his car and drives away.
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Publication Date: 01-18-2010

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