The House Guest by Paul Curtis (ebook reader wifi TXT) đź“•
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- Author: Paul Curtis
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everything”
“Oh” she said disinterestedly
“But don’t worry you wont have to see him he’ll do everything by phone”
“Oh” She said trying to hide her disappointment but failing.
The next morning Julie and I went out to inspect the damage in daylight, Julie in her dressing gown and wellies and me in my revolting red jumper, though Julie couldn’t get very far due to the tangle of branches so she went back inside.
When I had finished my inspection I went back inside myself and found Julie standing in the kitchen, her mobile phone in front of her, tapping the counter with the edge of a business card.
“He wont bite you know” I offered “Unless you want him to”
I laughed to myself but she apparently didn’t hear my little joke.
“I said he wont bite you know”
“What? I’m not worried about talking to him that’s a preposterous suggestion”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t a problem; I was just thinking that’s all”
Then she picked up her mobile and keyed in the number.
“Hello Its Julie Molesworth here is that Mr Warwick?”
“Ok Paul”
All the time she was talking she was fiddling with her hair with her spare hand which amused me greatly.
“I’m fine but I have a bit of a problem I have a rather large tree laying in my garden”
She noticed me watching her, scowled and turned her back to me.
“No the house is fine”
“Yes”
“No”
“Oh Yes that would be fine”
“Ok thank you bye”
She switched off the phone and put it down.
“Well that sounded quite amicable, not scary at all” I said.
”I wasn’t scared to talk to him” she retorted.
“So what was the outcome?”
“He’s coming round this morning” She said matter of factly “in about an hour”
“Excellent” I said. “That is good news”
Julie nodded her agreement.
“And I think he’s just going to love your outfit”
She gave me a puzzled look, then glanced at her dressing gown and muddy wellies, and looked back at me again though the puzzled expression had been replaced by panic.
“Oh God” She exclaimed then kicked off left boot so it flew across the kitchen, a technique she was unable to employ with the other boot due to he bad leg.
So she sat down and lifted her foot off the floor and shouted.
“BOOT! QUICK!”
“Alright calm down” I said as I removed her boot.
“Yes calm” she took a deep breath “Calm is good”
Then she jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen, she was still unable to run despite the progress she had made but she covered the ground quite swiftly anyway.
She reappeared forty five minutes later looking much more presentable in a smart skirt and blouse and I noticed she was wearing makeup.
“Is that better?” she asked.
“Very smart but you really didn’t need to go to all that trouble for me”
“I didn’t” she replied shortly.
“I did it for….” She tailed off
“For Paul Warwick? Is that what you were going to say? Why on earth would you care what he thinks?”
“Shut up” she said and tried to punch my arm playfully but not for the first time her hand went right through me and she nearly fell over.
“That’s really annoying Harry” She said when she had straightened herself up “I hate it when that happens”
A little over ten minutes later Paul Warwick’s Landrover pulled up in the lane outside the cottage.
Julie was looking out the window as he got out of the vehicle and opened the gate but instead of coming to the front door he went straight to the site of the damage and out of her line of sight so she went into the other room which afforded her a better look and she watched on as he clambered up onto the fallen tree and then he disappeared down the other side.
“I don’t think he’s going to come in” she said still trying to catch site of him amongst the branches.
“Oh he’ll be in when he’s done” I said
It was obvious, if only to me, that he hadn’t rushed round to the cottage on a job he could quite easily have delegated only to go off again without fulfilling the real purpose for his visit which was clearly to see Julie..
Julie spent the next five minutes craning her next to get a better view then she moved away from the window and headed back to the kitchen just in time to see him heading back up the path to the gate.
“He’s off now” She said unable to hide her disappointment.
“What?”
She went back into the sitting room and sat down in her chair and I just didn’t know what to say I couldn’t believe I’d got it so wrong I would have put money on it.
I sat down in the chair opposite her and tried to think of something clever to say.
“Well it’s probably for the best; it was bound to end in tears”
“That’s not helping” she said flatly
I was just about to say something full of wisdom when there was a knock at the door.
Julie opened the door to find a rather dishevelled Paul Warwick the other side of it.
After a brief exchange of polite greetings Julie invited Paul into the kitchen with the promise of coffee and then she turned to look in my direction and mouthed “Not you”
So I sat alone in the sitting room for the next twenty minutes trying to decipher words from the low rumble of conversation interspersed with small bursts of girlish laughter.
I had just come to the conclusion that as I was a ghost I could have been in the room with them all along and she would never have known when the kitchen door opened and Paul walked through.
“So the guys will be here first thing tomorrow” He said as he opened the front door.
“And I will see you later in the week”
“Ok thanks Paul bye” Julie said then closed the door.
“Well?” I said
“Like you weren’t in the room eavesdropping all the time” She implied
“No I was not” I said suitably indignant even though I would have been if I’d thought about it sooner.
“Oh sorry Harry”
She went on to fill me in on the bones of the conversation doubtless leaving out any of the flirtyness.
Paul was sending a crew round to cut and clear the timber which due to the size of the tree would take two or three days.
Then he would return and assess the rest of the damage to the garden, something else that could easily be delegated.
The next day was the 1st of December and the men were hard at work cutting up the fallen tree.
I thought to myself as Julie came down the stairs that she looked like a different person, her body had been getting stronger day by day for weeks but now there appeared to be a new spark within her, a new hope.
I just hoped I was right about her and Paul because I feared if that spark were to be extinguished again it would never relight.
I had just returned to my reading when she said “Hi Harry they’re a bit noisy aren’t they?”
“Harry!
“HARRY?”
When I didn’t answer she picked up her cane and poked the book I was reading.
“Oh Hello” I said.
“I’ve been talking to you, are you deaf?”
“Not exactly I turned the sound off so I didn’t have to listen to the racket outside”
“You can do that?”
I nodded.
“Cool” She said “Unfortunately I can’t do that so I’m going shopping for the day”
“Great don’t forget the decorations”
“Decorations for what?”
“Christmas” I said “It’s the 1st of December the advent calendars go up today”
“No, no, no” She said firmly “I don’t do Christmas”
“Why not?” I said shocked
“Why don’t you like Christmas?”
“Well let me see, it’s a waste of money for one thing”
“And?”
“The whole thing is just a sham, people don’t even believe in what they’re celebrating and if you believe what the papers say half the country don’t even believe Christ existed” She stated angrily though at the time I was unsure quite what she was angry about whether it was the season itself or peoples ignorance.
“Well that’s just nonsense we know from the Romans that Christ existed, they were great record keepers the Romans, people might argue that he isn’t the son of God or that God himself doesn’t exist but they can’t deny Christ’s existence” I said but I don’t think she was really listening, it would not be the first time I’d lost the attention of the person I was conversing with, boring conversation was a bad habit of mine throughout my life and apparently after my death as well.
“And what do you believe?” She asked more calmly.
“I believe in the whole nine yards, Father Son and holy ghost” I said trying to lighten the mood without success.
“What about you?”
“I must believe in him because I hate him so much”
With that she slipped on her coat and picked up her bag.
“I’ll see you later” she said and left.
I knew from the start of this exercise that she had some serious issues in her life but what I didn’t know was that Christmas was one of them if in fact it was.
Perhaps her dislike of Christmas was actually masking something deeper, only time would tell unless I were to push the right buttons.
Two days later the last of the timber was removed revealing the full extent of the damage to the boundary fence, the garden shed and what used to be the lawn, miraculously the wishing well sustained only minor damage.
Paul was on site and talking on his mobile organising the next phase which would be to remove all the debris and replace the fencing erecting a new shed and generally tidying up. The new lawn would have to wait until spring and the replacement shrubs and plants would be replaced at the same time.
Julie went out into the garden just as he was finishing his phone call.
I was standing by the remains of what used to be the shed, the shed erected by my own two hands, I was amazed it had lasted twenty years I never did master DIY.
I was too far away to hear what Paul and Julie were saying but they were headed back inside the house.
I was already in the kitchen when they arrived.
“We’re cutting Christmas trees on the estate at the moment I will have them cut you one by way of an apology, what size would you like?”
“I don’t really do Christmas” She said “It’s just an empty commercial festival”
“But thanks anyway” She added.
“Oh and when did you become so cynical?”
“From the moment I discovered Father Christmas doesn’t exist”
“Who says he doesn’t?”
“Ho, ho, ho” she said sarcastically
“I think everybody has a little bit of Christmas in their heart” Said Paul
“That would be tiny in my case”
Paul looked a bit deflated after she said that but perked up when she added.
“A meal would be a perfectly acceptable apology though”
It was a week later when Paul picked Julie up and drove her over to Abbotsford for their meal I would say their date but Julie kept insisting it was not a date.
It was quite late when he brought her home and I was a little disappointed when the evening ended on the doorstep with a peck on the cheek.
I had high hopes
“Oh” she said disinterestedly
“But don’t worry you wont have to see him he’ll do everything by phone”
“Oh” She said trying to hide her disappointment but failing.
The next morning Julie and I went out to inspect the damage in daylight, Julie in her dressing gown and wellies and me in my revolting red jumper, though Julie couldn’t get very far due to the tangle of branches so she went back inside.
When I had finished my inspection I went back inside myself and found Julie standing in the kitchen, her mobile phone in front of her, tapping the counter with the edge of a business card.
“He wont bite you know” I offered “Unless you want him to”
I laughed to myself but she apparently didn’t hear my little joke.
“I said he wont bite you know”
“What? I’m not worried about talking to him that’s a preposterous suggestion”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t a problem; I was just thinking that’s all”
Then she picked up her mobile and keyed in the number.
“Hello Its Julie Molesworth here is that Mr Warwick?”
“Ok Paul”
All the time she was talking she was fiddling with her hair with her spare hand which amused me greatly.
“I’m fine but I have a bit of a problem I have a rather large tree laying in my garden”
She noticed me watching her, scowled and turned her back to me.
“No the house is fine”
“Yes”
“No”
“Oh Yes that would be fine”
“Ok thank you bye”
She switched off the phone and put it down.
“Well that sounded quite amicable, not scary at all” I said.
”I wasn’t scared to talk to him” she retorted.
“So what was the outcome?”
“He’s coming round this morning” She said matter of factly “in about an hour”
“Excellent” I said. “That is good news”
Julie nodded her agreement.
“And I think he’s just going to love your outfit”
She gave me a puzzled look, then glanced at her dressing gown and muddy wellies, and looked back at me again though the puzzled expression had been replaced by panic.
“Oh God” She exclaimed then kicked off left boot so it flew across the kitchen, a technique she was unable to employ with the other boot due to he bad leg.
So she sat down and lifted her foot off the floor and shouted.
“BOOT! QUICK!”
“Alright calm down” I said as I removed her boot.
“Yes calm” she took a deep breath “Calm is good”
Then she jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen, she was still unable to run despite the progress she had made but she covered the ground quite swiftly anyway.
She reappeared forty five minutes later looking much more presentable in a smart skirt and blouse and I noticed she was wearing makeup.
“Is that better?” she asked.
“Very smart but you really didn’t need to go to all that trouble for me”
“I didn’t” she replied shortly.
“I did it for….” She tailed off
“For Paul Warwick? Is that what you were going to say? Why on earth would you care what he thinks?”
“Shut up” she said and tried to punch my arm playfully but not for the first time her hand went right through me and she nearly fell over.
“That’s really annoying Harry” She said when she had straightened herself up “I hate it when that happens”
A little over ten minutes later Paul Warwick’s Landrover pulled up in the lane outside the cottage.
Julie was looking out the window as he got out of the vehicle and opened the gate but instead of coming to the front door he went straight to the site of the damage and out of her line of sight so she went into the other room which afforded her a better look and she watched on as he clambered up onto the fallen tree and then he disappeared down the other side.
“I don’t think he’s going to come in” she said still trying to catch site of him amongst the branches.
“Oh he’ll be in when he’s done” I said
It was obvious, if only to me, that he hadn’t rushed round to the cottage on a job he could quite easily have delegated only to go off again without fulfilling the real purpose for his visit which was clearly to see Julie..
Julie spent the next five minutes craning her next to get a better view then she moved away from the window and headed back to the kitchen just in time to see him heading back up the path to the gate.
“He’s off now” She said unable to hide her disappointment.
“What?”
She went back into the sitting room and sat down in her chair and I just didn’t know what to say I couldn’t believe I’d got it so wrong I would have put money on it.
I sat down in the chair opposite her and tried to think of something clever to say.
“Well it’s probably for the best; it was bound to end in tears”
“That’s not helping” she said flatly
I was just about to say something full of wisdom when there was a knock at the door.
Julie opened the door to find a rather dishevelled Paul Warwick the other side of it.
After a brief exchange of polite greetings Julie invited Paul into the kitchen with the promise of coffee and then she turned to look in my direction and mouthed “Not you”
So I sat alone in the sitting room for the next twenty minutes trying to decipher words from the low rumble of conversation interspersed with small bursts of girlish laughter.
I had just come to the conclusion that as I was a ghost I could have been in the room with them all along and she would never have known when the kitchen door opened and Paul walked through.
“So the guys will be here first thing tomorrow” He said as he opened the front door.
“And I will see you later in the week”
“Ok thanks Paul bye” Julie said then closed the door.
“Well?” I said
“Like you weren’t in the room eavesdropping all the time” She implied
“No I was not” I said suitably indignant even though I would have been if I’d thought about it sooner.
“Oh sorry Harry”
She went on to fill me in on the bones of the conversation doubtless leaving out any of the flirtyness.
Paul was sending a crew round to cut and clear the timber which due to the size of the tree would take two or three days.
Then he would return and assess the rest of the damage to the garden, something else that could easily be delegated.
The next day was the 1st of December and the men were hard at work cutting up the fallen tree.
I thought to myself as Julie came down the stairs that she looked like a different person, her body had been getting stronger day by day for weeks but now there appeared to be a new spark within her, a new hope.
I just hoped I was right about her and Paul because I feared if that spark were to be extinguished again it would never relight.
I had just returned to my reading when she said “Hi Harry they’re a bit noisy aren’t they?”
“Harry!
“HARRY?”
When I didn’t answer she picked up her cane and poked the book I was reading.
“Oh Hello” I said.
“I’ve been talking to you, are you deaf?”
“Not exactly I turned the sound off so I didn’t have to listen to the racket outside”
“You can do that?”
I nodded.
“Cool” She said “Unfortunately I can’t do that so I’m going shopping for the day”
“Great don’t forget the decorations”
“Decorations for what?”
“Christmas” I said “It’s the 1st of December the advent calendars go up today”
“No, no, no” She said firmly “I don’t do Christmas”
“Why not?” I said shocked
“Why don’t you like Christmas?”
“Well let me see, it’s a waste of money for one thing”
“And?”
“The whole thing is just a sham, people don’t even believe in what they’re celebrating and if you believe what the papers say half the country don’t even believe Christ existed” She stated angrily though at the time I was unsure quite what she was angry about whether it was the season itself or peoples ignorance.
“Well that’s just nonsense we know from the Romans that Christ existed, they were great record keepers the Romans, people might argue that he isn’t the son of God or that God himself doesn’t exist but they can’t deny Christ’s existence” I said but I don’t think she was really listening, it would not be the first time I’d lost the attention of the person I was conversing with, boring conversation was a bad habit of mine throughout my life and apparently after my death as well.
“And what do you believe?” She asked more calmly.
“I believe in the whole nine yards, Father Son and holy ghost” I said trying to lighten the mood without success.
“What about you?”
“I must believe in him because I hate him so much”
With that she slipped on her coat and picked up her bag.
“I’ll see you later” she said and left.
I knew from the start of this exercise that she had some serious issues in her life but what I didn’t know was that Christmas was one of them if in fact it was.
Perhaps her dislike of Christmas was actually masking something deeper, only time would tell unless I were to push the right buttons.
Two days later the last of the timber was removed revealing the full extent of the damage to the boundary fence, the garden shed and what used to be the lawn, miraculously the wishing well sustained only minor damage.
Paul was on site and talking on his mobile organising the next phase which would be to remove all the debris and replace the fencing erecting a new shed and generally tidying up. The new lawn would have to wait until spring and the replacement shrubs and plants would be replaced at the same time.
Julie went out into the garden just as he was finishing his phone call.
I was standing by the remains of what used to be the shed, the shed erected by my own two hands, I was amazed it had lasted twenty years I never did master DIY.
I was too far away to hear what Paul and Julie were saying but they were headed back inside the house.
I was already in the kitchen when they arrived.
“We’re cutting Christmas trees on the estate at the moment I will have them cut you one by way of an apology, what size would you like?”
“I don’t really do Christmas” She said “It’s just an empty commercial festival”
“But thanks anyway” She added.
“Oh and when did you become so cynical?”
“From the moment I discovered Father Christmas doesn’t exist”
“Who says he doesn’t?”
“Ho, ho, ho” she said sarcastically
“I think everybody has a little bit of Christmas in their heart” Said Paul
“That would be tiny in my case”
Paul looked a bit deflated after she said that but perked up when she added.
“A meal would be a perfectly acceptable apology though”
It was a week later when Paul picked Julie up and drove her over to Abbotsford for their meal I would say their date but Julie kept insisting it was not a date.
It was quite late when he brought her home and I was a little disappointed when the evening ended on the doorstep with a peck on the cheek.
I had high hopes
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