The Book Of The Bush by George Dunderdale (books to read to improve english .TXT) 📕

One Question May Be Briefly Noticed.  It Has Been Asked,  When Did

Life First Appear On The Earth?  We Shall Understand Now That The

Question Is Unnecessary.  Life First Appeared On The Earth When The

Earth First Appeared As An Unsatisfied Atom Seeking Combination.  The

Question Is Rather,  When Did The Inanimate First Appear?  It Appeared

When The First Harmonic Combination Was Effected.  The Earth Is

Indeed To Be Considered As Having Grown Up Through The Life That Is

Inherent In It.  Man Is The Most Concentrated And Differentiated

Outgrowth Of That Life.  Mankind Is,  So To Speak,  The Brain Of The

Earth,  And Is Progressing Towards The Conscious Guidance Of All Its

Processes."

"Dunsinane."

It Was Not Clear On What Ground This Noble Duke Based His Authority

Over Me; But I Had Been So Long Accustomed To Fulfil The Behests Of

Lunatics Of Low Degree That I Was Able To Receive Those Of An

Afflicted Lord With Perfect Equanimity. But As I Could Not See That

My Obedience Would Be Rewarded With Anything Except Death Or

Pentridge,  I Refrained From Action.  I Did Not Place The Broad Arrow

Abaft Of Anything Or Anybody,  Nor Did I Make A Levy On The Cash In

The Bank Of Victoria.

Gippsland After Thirty Years.

"A Pleasing Land Of Drowsihed It Was,

And Dreams That Wave Before The Half-Shut Eye."

For Twelve Years I Did The Government Stroke In Her Majesty's Court

At Colac,  Then I Was Ordered To Make My Way To Gippsland.

The Sun Of Wisdom Shone On A New Ministry.  They Observed That Many

Of Their Officers Were Destitute Of Energy,  And They Resolved To

Infuse New Life Into The Service,  By Moving Its Members Continually

From Place To Place.  But Officials Live Long,  And The Most Robust

Ministry Dies Early,  And The Wisdom Of One Cabinet Is Foolishness To

The Next.

I Took Root So Deeply In The Soil Of Gippsland That I Became

Immoveable.  Twice The Government Tried To Uproot Me,  But I Remained

There To The End Of My Official Days.

Little Reliable Information About The Country Or Its Inhabitants Was

To Be Had,  So I Fondly Imagined That In Such A Land,  Secured From

Contamination By The Wicked World Outside,  I Should Find A People Of

Primeval Innocence And Simplicity,  And The Long-Forgotten Lines

Returned To My Memory:

"Beatus Ille Qui Procul Negotils,

Ut Prisca Gens Mortalium."

It Was Summer Time,  And The Weather Was Serene And Beautiful,  When In

The Grey Dusk Of The Evening We Sailed Through The Rip At Port Philip

Heads.  Then Began The Troubles Of The Heaving Ocean,  And The Log Of

The Voyage Was Cut Short.  It Ran Thus:

"The Ship Went Up,  And The Ship Went Down; And Then We Fell Down,  And

Then We Was Sick; And Then We Fell Asleep; And Then We Was At Port

Albert; And That's All I Knows About It."

I Walked Along The One Street Past The Custom House,  The Post-Office,

And The Bank,  About Three Hundred Yards And Saw Nothing Beyond But

Tea-Tree And Swamps,  Through Which Ran A Roughly-Metalled Road,

Leading Apparently To The Distant Mountains.  There Was Nothing But

Stagnation; It Was The Deadest Seaport Ever Seen Or Heard Of.  There

Were Some Old Stores,  Empty And Falling To Pieces,  Which The Owners

Had Not Been Enterprising Enough To Burn For The Insurance Money; The

Ribs Of A Wrecked Schooner Were Sticking Out Of The Mud Near The

Channel; A Stockyard,  Once Used For Shipping Cattle,  Was Rotting

Slowly Away,  And A Fisherman's Net Was Hanging From The Top Rails To

Dry.  Three Or Four Drays Filled With Pigs Were Drawn Up Near The

Wharf; These Animals Were To Form Part Of The Steamer's Return Cargo,

One Half Of Her Deck Space Being Allotted To Pigs,  And The Other Half

To Passengers.  In Case Of Foul Weather,  The Deck Hamper,  Pigs And

Passengers,  Was Impartially Washed Overboard.

An Old Man In A Dirty Buggy Was Coming Along The Road,  And All The

Inhabitants And Dogs Turned Out To Look And Bark At Him,  Just As They

Do In A Small Village In England,  When The Man With The Donkey-Cart

Comes In Sight.  To Allay My Astonishment On Observing So Much

Agitation And Excitement,  The Principal Inhabitant Introduced

Himself,  And Informed Me That It Was A Busy Day At The Port,  A Kind

Of Market Day,  On Account Of The Arrival Of The Steamer.

I Began Sorrowfully To Examine My Official Conscience To Discover For

Which Of My Unatoned-For Sins I Had Been Exiled To This Dreary Land.

Many A Time In After Years Did I See A Stranger Leave The Steamer,

Walk,  As I Had Done,  To The Utmost Extremity Of The Seaport,  And

Stand At The Corner Of The Butcher's Shop,  Gazing On The Swamps,  The

Tea-Tree,  And The Far-Away Wooded Hills,  The Strelezcki Ranges.  The

Dismal Look Of Hopeless Misery Thatstole Over His Countenance Was

Pitiful To Behold.  After Recovering The Power Of Speech,  His First

Question Was,  "How Is It Possible That Any Man Could Ever Consent To

Live In A Hole Like This?"  Here The Principal Inhabitant Intervened,

And Poured Balm On The Wounded Spirit Of The Stranger.  He Gently

Reminded Him That First Impressions Are Not Always To Be Relied On;

And Assured Him That If He Would Condescend To Take Up His Abode With

Us For Two Or Three Years,  He Would Never Want To Live Anywhere Else.

The Climate Was Delicious,  The Best In The World; It Induced A

Feeling Of Repose,  And Bliss,  And Sweet Contentment.  We Had No Ice

Or Snow,  Or Piercing Blasts In Winter; And The Heat Of Summer Was

Tempered By The Cool Breezes Of The Pacific Ocean,  Which Gently

Lapped Our Lovely Shores.  The Land,  When Cleared,  Was As Rich And

Fertile As The Farmer's Heart Could Wish,  Yielding Abundant Pasturage

Both In Summer And Winter.  The Mountains Sent Down To Us Unfailing

Supplies Of The Purest Water; We Wanted No Schemes Of Irrigation,  For

"Green Are Our Fields And Fair Our Flowers,

Our Fountains Never Drumlie."

We Had No Plagues Of Locust,  No Animal Or Insect Pests To Destroy Our

Crops Or Herbage.  Rabbits Had Been Introduced And Turned Loose At

Various Times,  But,  Instead Of Multiplying Until They Had Become As

Numerous As The Sand On The Seashore,  As Had Been The Case In Other

Parts Of Australia,  In Gippsland They Invariably Died; And It Had

Been Abundantly Proved That Rabbits Had No More Chance Of Living

There Than Snakes In Ireland.  And With Regard To The Salubrity Of

The Climate,  The First Settlers Lived So Long That They Were

Absolutely Tired Of Life.  Let Him Look At The Cemetery,  If He Could

Find It.  After Thirty Years Of Settlement It Was Almost Uninhabited

--Neglected And Overgrown With Tussocks And Scrub For Want Of Use.

It Will Be Gathered From This Statement Of The Principal Inhabitant

That Gippsland Had Really Been Discovered And Settled About Thirty

Years Before; But Mountains And Sea Divided It From The Outside

World,  And,  On Account Of The Intense Drowsiness And Inactivity Which

The Delicious Air And Even Temperature Of The Climate Produced,  The

Land And Its Inhabitants Had Been Forgotten And Unnoticed Until It

Had Been Rediscovered,  And Its Praises Sung By The Enterprising

Minister Of The Crown Before Mentioned.

Following The Example Of The Cautious Cat When Introduced Into A

Strange House,  I Investigated Every Corner Of The District As Far As

The Nature Of The Country Would Permit; And I Found That It Contained

Three Principal Corners Or Villages About Three Miles Apart,  At Each

Of Which The Police Magistrate And Clerk Had To Attend On Certain

Days,  Business Or No Business,  Generally The Latter.  It Was,  Of

Course,  Beneath The Dignity Of A Court To Walk Officially So Far

Through The Scrub; So The Police Magistrate Was Allowed Sixty Pounds

Per Annum In Addition To His Salary,  And The Clerk Whom I Relieved

Fifty Pounds,  To Defray The Expense Of Keeping Their Horses.

"Away Went Gilpin,  And Away

Went Gilpin's Hat And Wig."

I Bought A Waggonette,  And Then Began To Look For A Horse To Draw It.

As Soon As My Want Became Known It Was Pleasing To Find So Many Of My

Neighbours Willing To Supply It.  Cox,  The Gaoler,  Said He Knew Of A

Horse That Would Just Suit Me.  It Belonged To Binns,  An

Ex-Constable,  Who Was Spending A Month In Gaol On Account Of A Little

Trouble That Had Come Upon Him.  Cox Invited Me Into His Office,  And

Brought Binns Out Of His Cell.

"Yes," Said Binns "I Have A Horse,  And There's Not Another Like Him

On The Island," (These Men Always Meant Van Diemen's Land When They

Said "The Island," Forgetting Occasionally That They Had Crossed The

Straits,  And Were In A Land Of Freedom) "As Good A Goer As Ever

Carried A Saddle,  Or Wore A Collar.  I Wouldn't Sell Him On No

Account,  Only You See I'm Hard Up Just Now."

"What Is His Age?" I Enquired.

"Well,  He's Just Rising Ten.  He Has Been Used A Bit Hard,  But You

Won't Overwork Him,  And He'll Do All The Law Business You Want As

Easy As Winking. He's The Best Trotter On The Island,  And Has Won

Many A Stake For Me.  When I Took Johnny-Come-Lately To Gaol In

Melbourne For Stealing Him,  He Brought Me Back In Less Time Than Any

Horse Ever Did The Distance Before Or Since.  And You Can Have Him

Dirt Cheap.  I'll Take Ten Pounds For Him,  And He's Worth Twenty

Pounds Of Any Man's Money."

Lovers' Vows And Horsedealers' Oaths Are Never Literally True; It Is

Safer To Receive Them As Lies.  I Thought It Would Be Prudent To Try

This Trotter Before Buying Him,  So Binns Signed An Order,  In A Very

Shaky Hand,  To The Man In Charge Of His Farm,  To Let Me Have The

Horse On Trial.  When I Harnessed And Put Him In Between The Shafts

He Was Very Quiet Indeed.  I Took A Whip,  Not For The Purpose Of

Using It,  But Merely For Show; A Horse That Had Won So Many Races

Would,  Of Course,  Go Without The Lash.

When I Was Seated And Requested Him To Start,  He Began Walking Very

Slowly,  As If He Had A Load Of Two Tons Weight Behind Him,  And I

Never Weighed