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9. Collateral Damage

A term which only came to be widely used these last couple of years, or at least it became used in such a way my mind consciously noticed it. Yet another one of those things that surfaced in order to be included in this book. But that was years ago already, and even though my subconscious worked on it every now and then when warlike situations (in movieland) wiped out the lives of innocents, or at least associated with it in my sometimes quaint way of looking at thing....

It consciously came back into my mind again, when Schindler's List was on my big screen for the first time. Being one of the Spielberg 'dead serious' movies, it shows both sides of collateral damage: first of all, the fact that any Lord of War has some level of compassion about the families and friends of his opponent, which may be totally unrelated to the feelings he has for his own family and friends. Case in point would be our main character, who is taken to see the boss of the crime family he's been dealing with. He did something with their information they didn't like, and so the son of 'Papa' takes him there to be held accountable.

Now there's something to know about this crime family: they deliver information to any non-political group, about the whereabouts of people. They don't go after them themselves, and thus delegate the responsibility for any collateral damage that may occur. That responsibility lands squarely in the lap of our main character, who wants to bomb one of his intended targets, but is hellbent on making sure it is not the target's daughter who picks up the phone which is filled with C4...

The other end of the scale is shown when the then very modern Citroen DS21 pulls into Papa's courtyard: a huge farm, with a very family-style garden: kids playing on swings, grandma hanging out the laundry, and her daughters setting the table for lunch, not at all the kind of entourage in which you'd expect to find a mafioso-style godfather. What that should do is make you realize that even people like those can very well be family men! Actually, that was the very reason Papa's organization kept their nose clean when it came to dealing with political parties. Now that'll avoid you getting drawn into wars, but you are still working between a rock and a hard place, like the people you pay for information which you then sell to others who will quite likely not see things like the guys you got the information from.

Still though, Papa turns out to be a righteous man: he offers his guest the idea of considering himself a father figure to him, but Avner bounces back the simple fact that he already has a father, thus gaining Papa's trust. And that basically shows us how family relationships always impinge upon the war effort, or any effort of one party trying to get the better of its opponents. But still we're inside Einstein's small circle: as long as we can't see those outside of our family and friends as at least worthy of the same consideration, we'll never grown into a big fish.



10. Adaptation

A true warlord, like any given life-form, adjusts. Rigidity is the most devastating of all concepts within the Cosmos. But since my youngest daughter Melanie brought me a movie called 'the Adjustment Bureau' yesterday, that idea took on a whole different meaning. Because what in fact do we adjust? Or are we adjusted?

Our expectations first of all: the moment Melanie mentioned 'the Adjustment Bureau', this notion formed in my head of how it would be, and I knew I'd be thrilled to watch it. But since my parents were visiting, there was no possibility to get to that showing undisturbed for now. But as ever a light shone at the end of the tunnel: my parents would return home after dinner like they always do, and my daughters would be treated to a night at the movies by my ex and her partner. So after all, there would be ample possibility to enjoy myself.

To heighten the enjoyment, I went on a quick shopping trip for something nice and fairly harmless to drink, and some additional goodies. But as I strode around the corner of the shopping mall, this guy accosted me. Nothing serious, but what at first appearance seemed just a bum: scruffy coat, a pair of training trousers like the ones I use to wear around the house, and an apparently empty beer can in his hand. A bike of considerable age leaned against the wall behind him, as he began talking to me.

But then the strangest thing happened: do you know how it is that some people can be categorized as 'making sense, but just not being relevant?' Well, this guy was anything but that: in a flash of clarity he brought the conversation to Dutch history, and more that of my home province of Zeeland in particular, as if he knew I came from there (well, he did double-check it). And if that wasn't enough, he knew how to keep the dialogue captivating, by throwing in concepts that are near to my psyche. It felt like Nostradamus was talking to me at times because of the archaic elements in his language, but as I listened and threw in the occasional reply, it became reasonably clear of what he wanted from me: he was institutionalized, and apparently allowed to go out for short periods of time. He mentioned not being allowed to go into the nearby supermarket. Was it beer he wanted? Nope. The gentleman claimed to have enough money even to buy a car, but he lacked the possibility to put an ad out on the Internet to acquire one. And that basically was what he wanted from me: put in the ad for him, so he could buy the car, and go back to his roots, somewhere in Holland.

This, if anything, was a lesson, an adjustment of sorts. And as he sent me on my way to do my grocery shopping claiming he had to be inside in a few minutes, my mind mulled over a few of the more personal claims he'd made during our conversation. But I won't bother you with that (just now), when there are still quite a few remarks to be made about the movie I was setting up to see....

First of all, based on my encounter with the guy at the store, I figured the adjusters would be diverse in appearance, because anyone could be an adjuster, either of his own behavior or that of someone else. But no, Hollywood had to cast them in the mold of grayish men in black, with matching hats that enabled them to do their door trick. But then again, there's your clue, Sherlock! The simplicity in the modeling of the adjusters is a hint at the fact that the whole movie is a one-dimensional representation of a reality that hides behind the whole story of the Adjustment Bureau. But I'll get to that later. Because my first conclusion about the encounter with the guy changed the moment I finished the movie: remember how in the end one of the adjusters says to the main characters: β€œYou probably met the chairman once or twice, but just as probably didn't recognize him.” The moment I saw that scene, I knew that I'd seen Him, and more than once! Why? Because the guy at the supermarket specifically told me that he'd met me once before, that he'd been called in to intervene even back then. He even mentioned a specific address, which consciously I didn't remember, but which still rang a bell: it might well have been the moment 'normal reality' diagnosed me as manic in order to adjust my path through the bigger Reality.

But somehow, after a night's sleep and the wish that it would bring me more clarity on the whole subject, I woke up with a nicer view of the whole Adjustment procedure. Now I'd suggest you watch the movie first, and then try to comprehend what I'm about to tell you: Ignore the various roles, and stop trying to think of the Adjustment Bureau as a single-dimensional movie! Destiny is there, but where the movie claims we have to fight it to make sure our free will is the leading force in our lives, I simply cannot think of it that way: In this Reality, we are all Humans, but also all Adjusters, and all Chairmen! Where the Chairman is shown in the movie to be this 'nasty' who decides for all of us, in the end he gives our characters carte blanche the moment they decide that their plan is to be together, come hell or high water. And yes, that is it: there is Fate or Destiny for those who believe in it, but if Free Will is your particular poison, you'll have to make use of it. Because the moment we leave room for Fate or Destiny in our Free Will lives, they will surface to fill in the rest of the Plan, the backup that completes the infinite circuitry of the Grand Design.

So yes, the guy at the supermarket was adjusting me, and the fact he knew stuff about me without me even having as much as hinted at it to him before was a dead giveaway. It was a more impacting occurrence, but in normal life adjustments happen all the time and we accept them as such because we figure they originate from 'normal' reality. The exceptional ones are those that appear to happen in normal reality, but leave this distinct taste and scent of being 'beyond normal conditions'. But what was he adjusting me about? Well, the fact that normally, I'd have no problem to place an ad for someone else. Heck, I've even done it for my dad and a few others. So what was keeping me from doing it in this case? Surely the guy wanted just a car, and was willing to pay for it! The problem however was in the implication of his proposition: he wanted to 'go back home', which implied escaping the semi-closed institution he was in. And he specifically mentioned wanting to take his friends. It all sounded just a little bit too much like Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys....

But am I in fact responsible for what this guy would do with the car I would help him to acquire? It would be a transaction between him and the guy who was selling the car, and I'd only have typed in a few characters into my computer just like I always do. Even though deep down inside I do not believe mental diseases are in fact diseases, but rather altered states of reality, I still am caught by society's template of it: I have a problem helping someone escape this frame of mind, simply because I am not yet free of it myself. Because the moment I go against society's view and help the guy escape, it will get back at me and lock me up again! And that of course is against my Free Will! But even there adjustment is required: because part of my free will is to help others attain whatever they want. If they express a desire and I can help them out in any way, I will. Funny adjustments: Since 1941 is now playing on my second screen, and the Japs are just interrogating Hollis Wood about the location of Hollywood, you can see the similar predicament he is in: the moment he wants to point it out to them, he suddenly realizes that the Japs will use the knowledge acquired to do something bad to

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