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CHAPTER 4

 

I pulled off my soaked sneakers and tossed them in the shoe bucket near the door leading into the house. Then i hung up my hoodie and went inside. "Kacey is that you? Its nearly four." My mother's voice rang clear and sharp in the late night air.

Its me mom, sorry, i want to spend as much time with Ky before college starts, i told her. Hoping it would be enough of an explanation to calm her raging thoughts.

"Oh okay, thanks for leaving a note."

She was speaking of the note i had left on her bed, telling her i was staying after school a little later than usual.

"You're welcome, i mumbled. Is it okay if i get a snack? I'll go to bed afterwards.

Of course, i think there's some turkey and cheese, make me a sandwich too please.

Okay mom, I'll be there in a few minutes.

I watched her retreating back as she went down the hall to her bedroom, satisfied she had stayed up long enough to ensure i was going to return home safe and out of harm's reach.

 

I made two sandwiches, pimento and cheese on toasted bread and a turkey, cheddar sandwich on rye for her.

I spread the mayo evenly and closed the two halves together, then i poured glasses of water and carried them on a larger plate to her bedroom.

 

I didn't bother to knock or announce my presence.

In my house that wasn't something we did.

It had always just been me and my mom.

And she didn't really go into my room anyways.

 

We had established our boundaries. And we respected them.

 

I found her reading a book in bed, her auburn hair spread out around her, uncombed. She had one of her nightshirts on. And her cow slippers on her feet.

 

"I made your sandwich, I announced, in case she hadn't realized i had walked into the room.

"Thanks honey, leave the plate on the bed please

I'll see you in the morning okay? I said.

Okay she replied.

 

I took my second sandwich to my room a door down from hers and started eating it.

It was good and the cheese tasted unusually better than it should have.

We didn't buy the real pimento cheese, we bought the cheap stuff.


chapter 5

 

The next morning found me puking my guts into the toilet. I felt pregnant and bloated but i knew what it was or at least i had a good idea.

When i was done i wiped my mouth with my shirt sleeve and lumbered into the kitchen finding mom's note telling me she went to work on a Saturday.

 

Question marks hung above my head, making me wonder where she went every weekend. This wasn't new, it had been going on for what seemed like decades.

I threw the container of pimento cheese spread into the trash, taking my foot off the lever and letting the lid slam shut.

 

I wanted normalcy.

Where mothers didn't lurk off to unknown lovers and best friends didn't have bat shit parents who despite being of legal age still had a tight leash on their kids and i wanted for myself, to not feel like i was trapped in a balloon, the plastic rubbery material stretching against my flailing limbs but retreating back each time, trapping me, making me lose my breath. Making me feel like losing control of everything.

Of everyone.

 

I didn't know what i was going to do today. I never did, even during school days i didn't know.

It was pouring rain by the time I had finished making breakfast. Although it was just some oatmeal and a piece of fruit, nothing special, even though everyone told me i was a marvelous cook. Their was so much housework to do, laundry, vacuuming, the mountain upon mountain of dishes stacked high in the kitchen and the bedrooms.

I was glad it was Saturday, being that if it was a day of the week, i was sure my heart would have stopped.

 

I started vacuuming first, running the old cranky machine across the carpet, occasionally snagging on large debris like food wrappers. When that happened i was forced to bend down and individually pick them up and toss them in the trash.

 

I was dizzy hauling the vacuum up the stairs and i was puking again by the time i hit the third floor attic room. I was only so lucky that my father had installed a half bath up there for guests and friends before he decided suicide was his only way out, from my crazy mother.

 

My mom was a whore, straight forward a stripper too. She did it for the money she always told me, that one time i caught her in bed with someone i knew from my highschool.

 

The cops would have given her time for illegal conduct with a minor.

That obviously didn't hinder her from doong what she wanted.

And i knew she didn't get paid for that day.

I knew she was missing my dad.

 

I was missing him too but i wasn't being a selfious brat about it.

 

Ky came over after i didn't answer his skype calls.

He had a key even though i never recalled actually offering him one, although my house was his house and vice versa.

 

"You look sick man, you should take a break." i can't i told him, i have so much to do.

He sort of chuckled, you and i both know your mom couldn't give a single fuck about how clean the house is and i know her clients don't either. As long as they get some.

 

I started to look at him with some sort of why would you say that look on my face before ky clasped his hand to his mouth and realized what he had said.

 

Realized he probably shouldn't have said it. I'm so sorry! I wasn't even thinking, god i'm such an idiot.
It's okay i hate her too, I told him shaking my head.

 

Then ky was pulling me to his chest and i was letting all of my emotions flow out into his chest. He smelled of vanilla and burnt cigarettes and sweat.

 

It smelled like home.

He was home, I reminded myself.
It made me smile.

 

chapter 6

 

So ky told me later when we were snuggled up next to each other in my twin sized bed. Have you heard anymore from this dennis guy?

No i haven't, but i was thinking maybe he is just being friendly.

It doesn't seem too harmful, suspicious sure but maybe he really is just wanting to talk.

Yea talk and then murder you in his car before..." he traileld off.
"You should have finished saying it.

 

"Yea i know but look. I wouldn't go if i was you. You barely have enough strength to vacuum, let alone fight off someone who wants to hurt you.

Please i pleaded. I'm bored and i want to know more about the writing programs they have to offer.

Ky shook his head, and i knew there was no point in begging.

 

Yet i tried anyways, go with me then. Dont you want to get away at least for an hour? I mean it could be fun.

 

Whats fun about some creepy old guy with sagging balls and a receding hairline? He could be a perv for all we know."

Then go with me, i said again.

 

"I dont know. Im kind of paranoid. He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.
I'll go with you i guess, he said after awhile. But, he said putting parthensses on the conjuction, i will beat either your ass or his ass if something happens.

 

Thanks ky! I said exctiedly, almost jumping up in joy but my lurching stomach prohibited me. Ky sitll had his strong arm wrapped around my chest, a small resurance that we had something.

Maybe not a big something but it was still prevalaent.

 

He had his other arm under his head supporting himself.

Ky? What are we going to do, i asked.

My heart dropping, stomach still feeling like it wa going to tighten and my breakfast was going to come up.

 

I dont know, but we'll figure it out babe.

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Publication Date: 01-26-2017

All Rights Reserved

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