Travels Through France And Italy by Tobias Smollett (fastest ebook reader .txt) 📕

Revised. The Old Spelling Has Been, As Far As Possible, Restored.

Smollett Was Punctilious In Such Matters, And What With His

Histories, His Translations, His Periodicals, And His Other

Compilations, He Probably Revised More Proof-Matter For Press

Than Any Other Writer Of His Time. His Practice As Regards

Orthography Is, Therefore, Of Some Interest As Representing What

Was In All Probability Deemed To Be The Most Enlightened

Convention Of The Day.

To Return Now To The Doctor's Immediate Contemplation Of

Boulogne, A City Described In The Itineraries As Containing Rien

De Remarquable. The Story Of The Capuchin [On Page 21. A Capuchin

Of The Same Stripe Is In Pickle, Ch. Ill. Sq.] Is Very Racy Of

Smollett, While The Vignette Of The Shepherd At The Beginning Of

Letter V. Affords A First-Rate Illustration Of His Terseness.

Appreciate The Keen And Minute Observation Concentrated Into The

Pages That Follow, [Especially On P. 34 To P. 40.] Commencing

With The Shrewd And Economic Remarks Upon Smuggling, And Ending

With The Lively Description Of A Boulonnais Banquet, Very

Amusing, Very French, Very Life-Like, And Very Smollettian.

In Letter V. The Doctor Again Is Very Much Himself. A Little

Provocation And He Bristles And Stabs All Round. He Mounts The

Hygienic Horse And Proceeds From The Lack Of Implements Of

Cleanliness To The Lack Of Common Decency, And "High Flavoured

Instances, At Which Even A Native Of Edinburgh Would Stop His

Nose." [This Recalls Johnson's First Walk Up The High Street,

Edinburgh, On Bozzy's Arm. "It Was A Dusky Night: I Could Not 

Prevent His Being Assailed By The Evening Effluvia Of Edinburgh.

. . . As We Marched Along He Grumbled In My Ear, 'I Smell You In

The Dark!'"] And Then Lest The Southrons Should Escape We Have A

Reference To The "Beastly Habit Of Drinking From A Tankard In

Which Perhaps A Dozen Filthy Mouths Have Slabbered As Is The

Custom In England." With All His Coarsenesses This Blunt Scot Was

A Pioneer And Fugleman Of The Niceties. Between Times Most

Nations Are Gibbetted In This Slashing Epistle. The Ingenious

Boasting Of The French Is Well Hit Off In The Observation Of The

Chevalier That The English Doubtless Drank Every Day To The

Health Of The Marquise De Pompadour. The Implication Reminded

Smollett Of A Narrow Escape From A Duello (An Institution He

Reprobates With The Utmost Trenchancy In This Book) At Ghent In

1749 With A Frenchman Who Affirmed That Marlborough's Battles

Were Purposely Lost By The French Generals In Order To Mortify

Mme. De Maintenon. Two Incidents Of Some Importance To Smollett

Occurred During The Three Months' Sojourn At Boulogne. Through

The Intervention Of The English Ambassador At Paris (The Earl Of

Hertford) He Got Back His Books, Which Had Been Impounded By The

Customs As Likely To Contain Matter Prejudicial To The State Or

Religion Of France, And Had Them Sent South By Shipboard To

Bordeaux. Secondly, He Encountered General Paterson, A Friendly

Scot In The Sardinian Service, Who Confirmed What An English

Physician Had Told Smollett To The Effect That The Climate Of

Nice Was Infinitely Preferable To That Of Montpellier "With

Respect To Disorders Of The Breast." Smollett Now Hires A Berline

And Four Horses For Fourteen Louis, And Sets Out With Rather A

Heavy Heart For Paris. It Is Problematic, He Assures His Good

Friend Dr. Moore, Whether He Will Ever Return. "My Health Is Very

Precarious."

The Rapid Journey To Paris By Way Of Montreuil, Amiens, And

Clermont, About One Hundred And Fifty-Six Miles From Boulogne,

The Last Thirty-Six Over A Paved Road, Was Favourable To

Superficial Observation And The Normal Corollary Of Epigram.

Smollett Was Much Impressed By The Mortifying Indifference Of The

French Innkeepers To Their Clients. "It Is A Very Odd Contrast

Between France And England. In The Former All The People Are

Complaisant But The Publicans; In The Latter There Is Hardly Any

Complaisance But Among The Publicans." [In Regard To Two

Exceptional Instances Of Politeness On The Part Of Innkeepers,

Smollett Attributes One Case To Dementia, The Other, At Lerici,

To Mental Shock, Caused By A Recent Earthquake.] Idleness And

Dissipation Confront The Traveller, Not Such A Good Judge,

Perhaps, As Was Arthur Young Four-And-Twenty Years Later. "Every

Object Seems To Have Shrunk In Its Dimensions Since I Was Last In

Paris." Smollett Was An Older Man By Fifteen Years Since He

Visited The French Capital In The First Flush Of His Success As 

An Author. The Dirt And Gloom Of French Apartments, Even At

Versailles, Offend His English Standard Of Comfort. "After All,

It Is In England Only Where We Must Look For Cheerful Apartments,

Gay Furniture, Neatness, And Convenience. There Is A Strange

Incongruity In The French Genius. With All Their Volatility,

Prattle, And Fondness For Bons Mots They Delight In A Species Of

Drawling, Melancholy, Church Music. Their Most Favourite Dramatic

Pieces Are Almost Without Incident, And The Dialogue Of Their

Comedies Consists Of Moral Insipid Apophthegms, Entirely

Destitute Of Wit Or Repartee." While Amusing Himself With The

Sights Of Paris, Smollett Drew Up That Caustic Delineation Of The

French Character Which As A Study In Calculated Depreciation Has

Rarely Been Surpassed. He Conceives The Frenchman Entirely As A

Petit-Maitre, And His View, Though Far Removed From

Chesterfield's, Is Not Incompatible With That Of Many Of His

Cleverest Contemporaries, Including Sterne. He Conceives Of The

Typical Frenchman As Regulating His Life In Accordance With The

Claims Of Impertinent Curiosity And Foppery, Gallantry And

Gluttony. Thus:

"If A Frenchman Is Capable Of Real Friendship, It Must Certainly

Be The Most Disagreeable Present He Can Possibly Make To A Man

Of A True English Character. You Know, Madam, We Are Naturally

Taciturn, Soon Tired Of Impertinence, And Much Subject To Fits Of

Disgust. Your French Friend Intrudes Upon You At All Hours; He

Stuns You With His Loquacity; He Teases You With Impertinent

Questions About Your Domestic And Private Affairs; He Attempts To

Meddle In All Your Concerns, And Forces His Advice Upon You With

The Most Unwearied Importunity; He Asks The Price Of Everything

You Wear, And, So Sure As You Tell Him, Undervalues It Without

Hesitation; He Affirms It Is In A Bad Taste, Ill Contrived, Ill

Made; That You Have Been Imposed Upon Both With Respect To The

Fashion And The Price; That The Marquis Of This, Or The Countess

Of That, Has One That Is Perfectly Elegant, Quite In The Bon Ton,

And Yet It Cost Her Little More Than You Gave For A Thing That

Nobody Would Wear.

"If A Frenchman Is Admitted Into Your Family, And Distinguished

By Repeated Marks Of Your Friendship And Regard, The First Return

He Makes For Your Civilities Is To Make Love To Your Wife, If She

Is Handsome; If Not, To Your Sister, Or Daughter, Or Niece. If

He Suffers A Repulse From Your Wife, Or Attempts In Vain To

Debauch Your Sister, Or Your Daughter, Or Your Niece, He Will,

Rather Than Not Play The Traitor With His Gallantry, Make His

Addresses To Your Grandmother; And Ten To One But In One Shape Or

Another He Will Find Means To Ruin The Peace Of A Family In Which

He Has Been So Kindly Entertained. What He Cannot Accomplish By

Dint Of Compliment And Personal Attendance, He Will Endeavour To

Effect By Reinforcing These With Billets-Doux, Songs, And Verses,

Of Which He Always Makes A Provision For Such Purposes. If He Is 

Detected In These Efforts Of Treachery, And Reproached With His

Ingratitude, He Impudently Declares That What He Had Done Was No

More Than Simple Gallantry, Considered In France As An

Indispensable Duty On Every Man Who Pretended To Good Breeding.

Nay, He Will Even Affirm That His Endeavours To Corrupt Your

Wife, Or Deflower Your Daughter, Were The Most Genuine Proofs He

Could Give Of His Particular Regard For Your Family.

"If There Were Five Hundred Dishes At Table, A Frenchman Will Eat

Of All Of Them, And Then Complain He Has No Appetite--This I Have

Several Times Remarked. A Friend Of Mine Gained A Considerable

Wager Upon An Experiment Of This Kind; The Petit-Maitre Ate Of

Fourteen Different Plates, Besides The Dessert, Then Disparaged

The Cook, Declaring He Was No Better Than A Marmiton, Or

Turnspit."

The Gross Unfairness, No Less Than The Consummate Cleverness, Of

This Caricature Compels Us To Remember That This Was Written In

The Most Insular Period Of Our Manners, And During A Brief Lull

In A Century Of Almost Incessant Mutual Hostility Between The Two

Nations. Aristocrats Like Walpole, Gibbon, And Chesterfield Could

Regard France From A Cosmopolitan Point Of View, As Leading The

Comite Of Nations. But To Sturdy And True-Born Patriots, Such As

Hogarth And Smollett, Reciprocal Politeness Appeared As Grotesque

As An Exchange Of Amenities Would Be Between A Cormorant And An

Ape. Consequently, It Was No Doubt With A Sense Of Positive

Relief To His Feelings That Smollett Could Bring Himself To Sum

Up The Whole Matter Thus. "A Frenchman Lays Out His Whole Revenue

Upon Taudry Suits Of Cloaths, Or In Furnishing A Magnificent

Repas Of Fifty Or A Hundred Dishes, One-Half Of Which Are Not

Eatable Or Intended To Be Eaten. His Wardrobe Goes To The

Fripier, His Dishes To The Dogs, And Himself To The Devil."

These Trenchant Passages Were Written Partly, It May Be Imagined,

To Suit The English Taste Of The Day. In That Object They Must

Have Succeeded, For They Were Frequently Transcribed Into

Contemporary Periodicals. In Extenuation Of Smollett's Honesty Of

Purpose, However, It May Be Urged That He Was Always A

Thoroughgoing Patriot, [Witness His Violently Anti-French Play,

The Reprisal Of 1757.] And That, Coming From A Calvinistic

Country Where A Measure Of Tartufism Was A Necessary Condition Of

Respectability, He Reproduces The Common English