The Flying U Ranch by B. M. Bower (best books to read TXT) 📕

“He's an ornament to the Flying U,” Pink stated dreamily. “Us boneheads don't appreciate him, is all that ails us. What we ought to do is—help him be as pretty as he wants to be, and—”

“Looky here, Little One.” Big Medicine hurried his steps until he was close alongside. “I wouldn't give a punched nickel for a four-horse load uh them idees, and that's the truth.” He passed Pink and went on ahead, disgust in every line of his square-shouldered figure. “Combin' his chaps, by cripes!” he snorted again, and straightway told the tale profanely to his fellows, who laughed until they were weak and watery-eyed as they listened.

Afterward, because Pink implored them and made a mystery of it, they invited Miguel to take a hand in a long-winded game—rather, a series of games—of seven-up, while his chaps hung to dry upon a willow by the creek bank—or so he believed.

The chaps, however, were up in the white-house kitchen, where were also the reek of scorched hair and the laughing expostulations of the Little Doctor and the boyish titter of Pink and Irish, who were curling laboriously the chaps of Miguel with the curling tongs of the Little Doctor and those of the Countess besides.

“It's a shame, and I just hope Miguel thrashes you both for it,” the Little Doctor told them more than once; but she laughed, nevertheless, and showed Pink how to give the twist which made of each lock a corkscrew ringlet. The Countess stopped, with her dishcloth dangling from one red, bony hand, while she looked. “You boys couldn't sleep nights if you didn't pester the life outa somebody,” she scolded. “Seems to me I'd friz them diamonds, if I was goin' to be mean enough to do anything.”

“You would, eh?” Pink glanced up at her and dimpled. “I'll find you a rich husband to pay for that.” He straightway proceeded to friz the diamonds of white.

“Why don't you have a strip of ringlets down each leg, with tight little curls between?” suggested the Little Doctor, not to be outdone by any other woman.

“Correct you are,” praised Irish.

“And, remember, you're not heating branding-irons, mister man,” she added. “You'll burn all the hair off, if you let the tongs get red-hot. Just so they'll sizzle; I've told you five times already.” She picked up the Kid, kissed many times the finger he held up for sympathy—the finger with which he had touched the tongs as Pink was putting them back into the grate of the kitchen stove, and spoke again to ease her conscience. “I think it's awfully mean of you to do it. Miguel ought to thrash you both.”

“We're dead willing to let him try, Mrs. Chip. We know it's mean. We're real ashamed of ourselves.” Irish tested his tongs as he had been told to do. “But we'd rather be ashamed than good, any old time.”

The Little Doctor giggled behind the Kid's tousled curls, and reached out a slim hand once more to give Pink's tongs the expert twist he was trying awkwardly to learn. “I'm sorry for Miguel; he's got lovely eyes, anyway.”

“Yes, ain't he?” Pink looked up briefly from his task. “How's your leg, Irish? Mine's done.”

“Seems to me I'd make a deep border of them corkscrew curls all around the bottoms, if I was doin' it,” said the Countess peevishly, from the kitchen sink. “If I was that dago I'd murder the hull outfit; I never did see a body so hectored in my life—and him not ever ketchin' on. He must be plumb simple-minded.”

When the curling was done to the hilarious satisfaction of Irish and Pink, and, while Pink was dancing in them to show them off, another entered with mail from town. And, because the mail-bearer was Andy Green himself, back from a winter's journeyings, Cal, Happy Jack and Slim followed close behind, talking all at once, in their joy at beholding the man they loved well and hated occasionally also. Andy delivered the mail into the hands of the Little Doctor, pinched the Kid's cheek, and said how he had grown good-looking as his mother, almost, spoke a cheerful howdy to the Countess, and turned to shake hands with Pink. It was then that the honest, gray eyes of him widened with amazement.

“Well, by golly!” gasped Slim, goggling at the chaps of Miguel.

“That there Natiff Son'll just about kill yuh for that,” warned Happy Jack, as mournfully as he might with laughing. “He'll knife yuh, sure.”

Andy, demanding the meaning of it all, learned all about Miguel Rapponi—from the viewpoint of the Happy Family. At least, he learned as much as it was politic to tell in the presence of the Little Doctor; and afterward, while Pink was putting the chaps back upon the willow, where Miguel had left them, he was told that they looked to him, Andy Green, for assistance.

“Oh, gosh! You don't want to depend on me, Pink,” Andy expostulated modestly. “I can't think of anything—and, besides, I've reformed. I don't know as it's any compliment to me, by gracious—being told soon as I land that I'm expected to lie to a perfect stranger.”

“You come on down to the stable and take a look at his saddle and bridle,” urged Cal. “And wait till you see him smoking and looking past you, as if you was an ornery little peak that didn't do nothing but obstruct the scenery. I've seen mean cusses—lots of 'em; and I've seen men that was stuck on themselves. But I never—”

“Come outa that 'doby,” Pink interrupted, “mud to his eyebrows, just about. And he knew darned well we headed him in there deliberate. And when I remarks it's soft going, he says: 'It is, kinda,'—just like that.” Pink managed to imitate the languid tone of Miguel very well. “Not another word outa him. Didn't even make him mad! He—”

“Tell him about the parrots, Slim,” Cal suggested soberly. But Slim only turned purple at the memory, and swore.

“Old Patsy sure has got it in for him,” Happy Jack observed. “He asked Patsy if he ever had enchiladas. Patsy won't speak to him no more. He claims Mig-u-ell insulted him. He told Mig-u-ell—”

“Enchiladas are sure fine eating,” said Andy. “I took to 'em like a she-bear to honey, down in New Mexico this winter. Your Native Son is solid there, all right.”

“Aw, gwan! He ain't solid nowhere but in the head. Maybe you'll love him to death when yuh see him—chances is you will, if you've took to eatin' dago grub.”

Andy patted Happy Jack reassuringly on the shoulder. “Don't get excited,” he soothed. “I'll put it all over the gentleman, just to show my heart's in the right place. Just this once, though; I've reformed. And I've got to have time to size him up. Where do you keep him when he ain't in the show window?” He swung into step with Pink. “I'll tell you the truth,” he confided engagingly. “Any man that'll wear chaps like he's got—even leaving out the extra finish you fellows have given 'em—had ought to be taught a lesson he'll remember. He sure must be a tough proposition, if the whole bunch of yuh have had to give him up. By gracious—”