Wild Bastard by Ella Savitskaya (book suggestions .txt) 📕

The kiss is deep, insistent, greedy. His teeth hit mine, as if he is trying to dislodge all the bad things that have just taken over my memory. And he succeeds perfectly. For a brief second, all I can think about is the taste of his wet tongue in my mouth, the prickly stubble causing a slight pain to the skin around my lips, the scalding breath shooting through the back of my throat like a bullet. Whether it is the alcohol or the cocktail of emotions brought on by the sudden sharp kiss that makes my head swim. My fingers tremble, my breath trapped in my lungs from his onslaught.

I know I should push him away, stop the nightmare that causes a swarm of goose bumps, but instead I kiss him back. A strong hand presses up against the back of my neck, fingers run painfully through my hair, ripping a tearful moan from my throat. I couldn't control myself, so I put my arms around Matthew's neck and let him pull me over him.

I don't know if it's crazy or what else to call it, but a desperate desire for something more for the first time in my life settles in my mind.

A male hand slide down my back, pushing into me with such force that my spine almost crunches. My stomach tightened in exhaustion from the stone hardness resting against my crotch.

"Rie, where have you been before, huh?"

An overpowering whisper burns my neck. I feel the sting on my skin, and I can' t hold back a loud moan.

God, I'd always been able to stop guys from kissing me, because it seemed completely unnecessary and unimportant. And now I realize I want more. With this self-righteous lunatic who had just opened himself up on the other side. 

Cheeky fingers dive under my shirt, pulling it up.  Matthew catches my breasts with his lips right through the lace fabric of my bra. My body curves toward him with an invisible force. I dig my fingers into his short hair and throw my head back. The millions of stars in the sky are shining as brightly as they have ever shone. I bite my lip painfully and find the stiff lips again.

"Reenah, are you there?"

I don't know where our mutual insanity would lead, but the familiar voice coming from deep inside the house creeps into my consciousness and tosses me flat on the ground.

My inner voice is crying out that I'm a lying bitch, betraying the person who saved my ass twice. My conscience is beating its fists into the door that was almost slammed in its face.

"Stop, stop" I gasp for air, shuddering as the insolent fingers tighten around my waist. "Matthew, no!"

He pulls away from me and glares at me with his squinting black eyes, not letting me go.

God, what am I doing?

The desire was so powerful that I almost made the worst mistake of my life under the influence of the released serotonins. Who is Matthew? A bastard who would forget about me tomorrow. He'll get what he wants and lose interest. Whatever skeletons lurked in his closet, hoping that he might feel something for a girl other than lust is foolish. He cares about family, but his behavior with girls speaks for itself.

All he wants is sex. Not me, with my problems. But my body, acting like a deserter, is willing to surrender to his pressure.

"Do you want to try to escape, Reenah? If I catch up with you, it won't be the same" The low, husky, threatening voice almost makes me feel like I'm being grinded to powder.

I rise hastily from the guy's lap and pick up the scarf. My pulse is racing, my breathing can't recover.

"I'm not going to run away. And I'm certainly not interested in catching up. I'm not interested in you at all! It's the alcohol!"

I turn around and take a few steps toward the house on unruly legs. A sleepy Lana comes out and smiles at me with a friendly smile.

"When did you get home?"

"A few minutes ago" I answer, putting my arm around her shoulders and turning her back. "Come on, let's go. Why are you awake?"

"I heard a noise near the pool"

My lips stung, my skin burned in the places that Matthew had roughly touched, and my guilt is tearing me from the inside. As I walk up the stairs, I hear heavy footsteps, and then a loud slam of the door. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think where he can go at this time of night. But I do the right thing. People like Matt don't need a relationship. And he certainly doesn't need me.

And I don't need him.

My phone vibrates with an incoming message. I unlock it and swallow noisily.

"I hate it when people lie."

"Who is it?"

Lana glances at the smartphone, which I immediately block. Where'd he get my number?

"Nobody" I pull the mask over my face with a smile as if everything is okay.

Nobody. Nobody. Yes, nobody!

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