Wild Bastard by Ella Savitskaya (book suggestions .txt) 📕

A little update today, girls. Next time will be bigger, I promise)))

When I entered the apartment a few hours ago, it was as if I had been sucked back in time by a powerful wind. The shabby wallpaper, the empty bottles under the table, and the syringes and colorful pills on the windowsill. Maybe a similar outcome awaits everyone who turns out to be trash in this life? Unneeded, lost, forgotten. Not a soul would even remember anyone from the orphanage if something happened to us. We are shunned, feared, initially labeled, and we involuntarily accept it and get used to the role, like those chameleons, adjusting to everyone's opinion.

I tried very hard to be the exception to the rule. I worked in different places, but every boss did not fail to point out my origins from nowhere. Maybe I shouldn't have tried? Fish can't live on land. Neither can we. No normal life for someone like me.

My friend, seeing me, immediately poured me a cocktail, and I realized that now this is exactly what I need. Just to exorcise from my body the hope for a bright life, which had collapsed just a couple of hours ago and painfully cut me with splinters.

"There's nothing to tell, Vi. You better tell me where the boys are"

"They'll be here soon. They've been unloading bags in the warehouse since five in the morning. I've already written to them, they should bring a refill" She points to the empty glass with a nod of her head.

I call Kate, asking her to replace me for a few days. I don't know what these days will change, maybe I'll never go back to the bar again... But I still leave myself an escape route. My gut resists this kind of life, I try very hard to listen, even though it is difficult.

The nineteenth missed call from Lana made me dial the girl with clenching teeth. She's especially hard to talk to, which is probably why I couldn't answer right away. She was the first one who believed in me and helped me so many times. I know I need to explain, because I'm a hundred percent sure my pink unicorn is terribly worried, and it's cruel of me to keep her in the dark. I'm just selfishly trying to hold on to our brief friendship for at least one more moment.

"God, Reenah!" My heart aches when the worried voice literally cries out my name. "Where are you? What happened? Why did you leave?"

The shot of questions hurts my skin, because I already know that in a few minutes I will lose her. The one sincere person in my life who opened the door to her home and her heart.

"Lana, I'm at a friend's house."

"Give me the address. I'll come over."

"No, you don't have to."

"Reenah, don't leave me! I feel so good with you, please" I bite my cheek on the inside so I don't give myself away with a nervous exhalation. "It's Matthew, isn't this? Did he hurt you?"

"Lana..."

"I hate him! He's always taking everyone away from me! But you promised he wouldn't break us up! And you left me"

"Lana..."

" Reenah, don't disappear! I love you so much! You're the only one who's ever treated me well, please!" My heart practically stops, but I blurt it out quickly, afraid that I'll change my mind and then I'll blame myself for lying, and she doesn't deserve that:

"Lana, I slept with Matthew."

The flow of words stops abruptly. The silence seems deafening. I can't breathe, just stare at one point in front of me while I listen to Lana breathe heavily.

"What a fool. I loved you, I loved you, and you?!" Comes out almost screaming, and then she shoots me in the temple without a gun, "His ex-girlfriend gave him a blow job today! He doesn't give a damn about you! Traitor!"

 And she hangs up.

Desolation, self-disdain, and hatred for Matthew rumble in my temples. I had lost a truly caring friend because I couldn't control my own weaknesses. The emptiness creeps into my nostrils, settles in my lungs, penetrates my ears, my eyes, and fills me completely. Without realizing it, I let these two become part of my life. And if Lana teared herself away of it, Matthew had to be plucked out with pincers.

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