Ashes to Embers by Abigail Livinghouse (best book reader txt) 📕

Siren’s reputation has blossomed into fame ever since she arrived at the Haven and became the only known Flame in existence. It seems her life is finally falling into place. As much as it can anyway in a world being eaten alive by the Plague, a disease that turns living and breathing humans into the vicious Undead that live off the flesh of the very humans they once associated with. It’s become nearly impossible to survive in the world, but Siren has found her home in the Haven. Which is named quite literally for its safety and solitude from the Dead lurking on the streets.

          In the Haven, Siren is among the Prophets who have welcomed her like family. Her boyfriend, Dimitri is just an added miracle in her newfound life. It appears everything is going wonderfully, and Siren’s life can finally begin. Except that the leader of the Haven and the Prophets has deserted them, leaving everyone vulnerable and unsure how to proceed. What can you do when the one who’s led you for years and taken care of you has suddenly abandoned you, and hope?

          Felix has skeletons in the closet that he cannot hide forever, and Siren is quickly catching on to some of the leader’s secrets. If Felix really had everyone’s best interest at heart like he claims, then why does it seem he wants nothing more to do with his apparent failed project? The Prophets were founded and taken care of by him, and they were told as soon as they joined that they were meant to save the world and bring it back to its prime. There are just a few things Felix hasn’t told them yet, and they may never know, until it’s too late.

“I just need more time.” Izzy assured us as he sat on the hood of the old car we practiced on.

          I stood with my arms crossed and fighting the innate urge to tap my foot in impatience. We had been standing out here for hours waiting for Izzy to show us an example of his ability, and so far there had been no progress whatsoever. Rach leaned all of her weight on her left foot and ended up stumbling into me. I laughed and said it was okay and she gave me an apologetic smile. She was just as tired as we all were. Since Felix left, we had been getting up at the crack of dawn to practice like we knew he would’ve wanted.

 Even though Lilith on my left was blind, she was none too impressed with Izzy’s nonexistent progress as we reported to her, and was already on edge as it was with Felix’s departure. Out of all of us, she was the closest to Felix. She looked up to him and sought him for protection. Without that, she was at a loss. She found some sort of strength and solace in me, and our friendship had gotten very strong in the eight weeks I’d been at the Haven as a member of the Prophets.

          This setback with Izzy would leave us all behind schedule. We all knew it, even Izzy himself. This was why we could see the sweat dripping down his face from his effort (no matter how small) and his anxiety at the fact that he couldn’t perform for us.

          I was about to speak up and call it a day when Isaac stepped on the scene, angrily stalking over to his brother.

          “Are you serious?” He demanded. By the tone of his voice I could tell he was serious and pissed.

Izzy physically cowered at the sight of his furious twin brother, and I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. Eighteen years old, and he was afraid of his own brother. The word pathetic came to mind, but I didn’t say anything. Isaac had this one handled.

“Do you know how disappointed-not even that. Disgusted  we all are with you? You’ve wasted everyone’s time here today. Do you really think this is what we wanted? To see you sweating and sniveling under pressure? What do you expect to happen when you’re out in the real world, away from these walls and have to fight a real pack of the Dead? You think they’re going to give you another chance if you cry and whine and say, ‘I can’t do this, I just need more time’. They’re going to fucking tear you to shreds, and I’m not going to be there to help.”

At the end of Isaac’s furious tirade, he turned around and left his brother standing alone in stunned silence. I was a bit surprised myself, but not totally. I hadn’t expected anything less from Isaac. He was harsher and much more to the point than his brother. The moment I saw him coming I knew Izzy was in for it.

“Well I think that’s enough for today.” Lilith announced. No one argued.

We all filed inside the apartment complex shared by the Prophets. Izzy trailed miserably behind, and made his way to the stairs as soon as he could. Nobody stopped him or tried to console him. I suppose in our minds he just didn’t deserve it. We had given him enough attention for one day, and he had wasted it for all we were concerned.

Rach followed Izzy’s suit, and I was about to as well when Lilith grabbed my arm.

“Can I talk to you a minute?” She asked.

“Of course.”

We turned our backs to the empty lobby and went outside once again. Lilith didn’t need to, but she kept ahold of my arm as we walked into the backyard of the apartment complex. I stopped at the rusty car we used for practice, long thawed out since Lilith had frozen it. I helped her climb on and we sat on the roof. From here you could see the large concrete wall that held the Haven in its palm, completely cut off from the rest of the world. I hadn’t been out there in over two months. I wasn’t afraid of what I would find per se, I knew very well that nothing had changed. I just didn’t want to see the same death and decay of a once great civilization.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked to Lilith, who sat cross-legged and staring unseeingly at the vast landscape. “What’s bothering you?”

She sighed. “Isn’t it obvious? I’ve tried, Siren. I really have. I’ve tried to be strong for everyone and act like nothing’s wrong, but I just can’t do it anymore.”

I knew what she was talking about, and I didn’t want to address this right now. If I had known we would be talking about Felix, I wouldn’t have even come outside. But now that I was already out here, I knew I couldn’t get away. Felix was a touchy subject with me as well as Lilith, in two totally different ways though. Lilith was missing him and in despair over his leaving. Me? I was furious enough to burn down half the city of Seattle. Felix had just up and left us with no warning or anything to let us know where he was going or what he was doing. It was as if he didn’t give a shit about us. That’s how I saw it, anyway. I knew Lilith didn’t see it as that, and I wasn’t about to get my ass frozen just so that I could speak my mind. So, I did the next best thing. I played dumb.

“What are you talking about?”

Lilith scowled, and I knew I hadn’t fooled her. “You know full well what I’m talking about. Felix-” Her voice broke when she said his name, and she had to take a minute to compose herself before she continued. “Felix is gone. No one has any idea where he is or if he’s okay. We’re just sitting here doing nothing.”

I straightened up and stared at the blind girl, hearing a tone in her voice suggesting that she was going somewhere with this. I knew I wouldn’t like it either.

“What are you saying?” I questioned.

“I’m saying, we should go and find him.”

“That’s insane. Lilith, you know we can’t do that. We can’t afford to lose anyone. Felix wouldn’t want that.” I tried to sway her, but I knew that she had already made up her mind. When Lilith makes a decision, there’s no use in trying to change what she’s already decided on.

“It’s not insane, it’s practical and necessary. It’s been over a month since he left and we haven’t done a damn thing to try and find him. What if Cal’s got him? Or what if he’s sick and dying somewhere and we aren’t there to help?”

“Felix is a big boy who knows how to take care of himself. And I think we’d know if Cal had him. Do you really think Felix would go quietly?” No matter what I said, I knew it was going in one ear and out the other. But I kept going.

“Try to think logically. If Felix was really in trouble, somehow, someway, we’d know. There’s no use in sacrificing a search party when Felix will come home when he’s ready.”

“We wouldn’t be sacrificing anyone.” Lilith corrected me, even though I knew and she knew that there was no way of knowing if she was right or if I was right.

“Lilith, please. Listen to me. If Felix doesn’t want to be found, then there would be no use in looking for him.” I surmised. By her silence, I knew the argument was over. She knew that when it came to this at least, I was right.

I got down from the car, offering her my hand. “C’mon, the sun’s going to set and it’s going to get cold soon.”

“I’ll be in later.” Lilith responded.

No use in arguing that either. I sighed, and headed inside. I turned once before I shut the door, seeing Lilith’s slim silhouette outlined by the setting sun.