Never by Nicholas Elliott (best feel good books txt) 📕

Sometime, a while back, I cared for you. Sometime, you didn't care too see. It hurt me deep down, for it was the first time my heart had been broken. The first time I truly felt pain. But love doesn't simply go away. Love lingers forever. There may be times when it doesn't hurt, but sometimes the pain returns. A pain that I just cant help but love. When I stand there soul bleeding, heart melting, and brain destroyed I can't help but smile. I smile because I remember you. How could I not smile after knowing you. I've never told anyone because I knew if I did, they wouldn't understand. They would judge, tear, and mutilate everything that makes me happy... you.. you make me happy. But here we are now, at the end. How've you been?

I was born a introvert. I hate to be around people. I hate the mere though of being near someone. But at the same time, I'm hoplessly lost in the idea of love. As far back as I can remember I couldn't wait to be married. The only problem is, i'm 18 and still haven't had a girlfriend. Apart from the sexual desire which I put aside with the palm of my own hand, I've never felt the effect of love. It's not that I haven't been given the oppurtunity. I just want it to be the right girl. Maybe this is the year, no, maybe todays the day that I meet her. Please god let today be the day. But enough of that, I can't dwell on the emptiness that is me. I can't let an idea change who I am. It's time for work anyways..

 My sweetheart, my angel, my love, as I lay here watching you sleep I can't help but to wonder how lucky I am to have you. I can lay here by your side forever watching you sleep. Listening to the adorable cute sounds you make whenever you shuffle around. Feeling the warmth that your beautiful body creates against mine. Every now and then gently kissing your lips. Listening to you breath, knowing that I am so damn lucky to be sharing the same air with such an amazing person. I will never, ever get tired of watching you sleep, for it is the most beautiful sweet thing I can ever imagine.

The rain falling from above is warm. The clouds turn from white the a strange orange as the sun sets. I hold my hand out and let the rain collect in my palm. Though you're gone I feel your presence in the beauty around me. I feel your love in the warm breeze, I hold your tears in my hand. I slowly close my hand, letting your uneeded tears flow out the sides of my palm. I stare into the puddle of your tears below. These emotions are to much for me to bare, but I hold my tears back for you. I slowly look back up at the orange clouds as they steadily turn pink. "I'm sorry my angel" I stand there, letting the rain soak into my clothes. Trying to be as close to you in that moment as I possibly can. But no matter how hard I try, you're still to far away. I need you to be around me, I need you to be here. Without you here, I am not the same. I'm so grateful to carry your heart with me. Without you, everything seems darker. You are what brings light to my world. You are the one necessity to my life. Though your not here by my side, I never feel truly alone. I can always feel your love by my side, guiding me to the future with you that I dream of every night. Still holding my tears back, I remember all the amazing memorys we've created together. All the silly moments that we have shared, even all the sad goodbyes we have faced. Those memories are what make me who I am today, for you have made me a better person. A man who will love you for all of time.
A world away you hold my heart, and here I stand holding yours. I know it's fragile, I know it's soft, so I will take great care of it. I will always have it by my side, through good times and bad. I will make sure that I love it, and cherish it. I will make sure that I never lose, for it's mine to keep until I parish. 

Publication Date: 07-16-2015

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