The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane by Alain René le Sage (good books to read in english .TXT) 📕

wait long enough, replied the knight of the iron spit; for you

shall stay here till to-morrow. You shall sup with us, and we

will give you a bed.

I was out of my little wits with joy at the mention of these last

tidings; and it was like the turnpike road to paradise after

crossing an Arabian desert, when being led by master Diego

through the kitchens, I there saw my lord archbishop’s supper,

and the stew-pans in the last throes of parturition. There were

fifteen accountable souls, for I reckoned them up, in attendance

on the labour; but the litter of dishes far outnumbered the

fecundity of nature in her most prolific mood: so much more

gracious and bountiful is providence to the heads of the church

in the indulgence of their appetites, than mindful of the

worthless brute creation in the propagation of its kind. Here it

was, at the fountain-head of prelacy, inhaling an atmosphere of

gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent as it lay upon the

breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuality. I had the

honour of supping with the scullions, and of sleeping in their

room; an initiation of friendship so sincere and strong, that on

the following day, when I went to thank master Diego for his

goodness in vouchsafing me a refuge, he said: Our kitchen lads

have been with me in a body, to declare how excessively delighted

they are with your manners, and to propose having you among them

as a fellow-servant. How should you, on your part, like to make

one of the society? I answered that, with such a feather in my

cap, I should be the vainest and the happiest of mortals. Then so

be it, my friend, replied he; consider yourself henceforth as a

buttress of the hierarchy. With this invitation, he introduced me

to the major-domo, who thought he saw talent enough in me for a

turnspit.

No sooner was I in possession of so honourable an office, than

master Diego, following the practice of cooks in great houses,

who pamper up their pretty dears in private with all sorts of

good things, selected me to supply a lady in the neighbourhood

with a regular table of butcher’s meat, poultry, and game. This

good friend of his was a widow on the right side of thirty, very

pretty, very lively, and to all appearance contenting herself

with cupboard love for her cook. His generous passion was not

confined to furnishing her with bread, meat, and garnish; she

drank her wine too, and the archbishop was her wine-merchant.

The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of my carnal

condition in his grace’s palace: where I gave a specimen of

rising genius, still ringing on the trump of fame at Seville. The

pages and some others of the household had a mind to get up a

play on my lord archbishop’s birthday. They chose a popular

Spanish tragedy; and wanting a boy about my age to personate the

young King of Leon, cast me for the part. The major-domo, a great

spouter, undertook to train me for the stage; and after a few

lessons, pronounced that I should not be the worst actor of the

company. His grace not wishing to starve so handsome a compliment

to himself, no expense was spared in getting it up magnificently.

The largest hall in the palace was fitted up as a theatre, with

appropriate decorations. At the side scene there was a bed of

turf, on which I was to be discovered asleep, when the Moors were

to rush in and take me prisoner. When we had got so forward with

our rehearsals as to be sure of being ready by the time fixed,

the archbishop sent out cards of invitation to all the principal

families in the city.

At length the great, the important day arrived; and each

performer was big with the contrivance and adjustment of his

dress. Mine was brought by a tailor, accompanied by our major-domo, who, after taking the trouble of drilling me at rehearsal,

wished to see justice done to my outward appearance. The tailor

put me on a rich robe of blue velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold

lace, fringe, and buttons: the major-domo himself crowned me with

a pasteboard crown, studded with false diamonds and real pearls.

Moreover, they gave me a sash of pink silk worked in silver; so

that every new ornament was like a quill-feather in the wing of a

bird. At last, about dusk, the play began. The curtain drew up

for my soliloquy; the purport of which was to express, in a

roundabout, poetical way, that not being able to defend myself

from the influence of sleep, I was going to lie down and take it

as it came. To suit the action to the word, I sidled off to the

corner between the flat and the wings, and squatted down on my

bed of turf, but instead of going to sleep, according to promise,

I was hammering upon the means of getting into the street, and

running away with my coronation finery. A little private

staircase, leading under the theatre into the lower saloon,

seemed to furnish the probability of success. I slid away slily,

while the audience were considering some necessary question of

the play, and ran down the staircase, through the saloon, to the

door, calling out, “Make way! make way! I must change my dress,

and run up again in a moment!” They all made a lane, for fear of

hindering me; so that in less than two minutes I got clear out of

the palace, under cover of the darkness, and scampered to the

house of my friend who saw gentlemen’s trunks safe on board.

He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment l But when I let him

into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his

sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because

he flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of

Leon’s civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first

appearance, and joined issue with the major-domo in the

prognostic, that with encouragement and practice I should turn

out a first-rate actor, and make no little noise in the world.

After we had diverted ourselves for some time at the expense of

my manager and audience, I said to the bully — What shall we do

with this magnificent dress? Do not make yourself uneasy about

that, answered he. I know an honest broker, without an atom of

curiosity in his composition, who will buy or sell anything with

any person, provided that he gets the turn of the market upon the

transaction. I will fetch him to you to-morrow morning. The

knowing fellow was as good as his word; for he went out early the

next day, leaving me in bed, and returned two hours afterwards

with the broker, carrying a yellow bundle under his arm. My

friend, said he, give me leave to introduce Signor Ybagnez of

Segovia, who, in spite of the bad example set him by the trade in

general, trusts to fair dealing and small profits for a moderate

pittance and an unblemished character. He will tell you to a

fraction what the dress you want to part with is really worth,

and you may take his calculation as the balance of justice,

between, man and man. Oh yes I to a nicety, said the broker. Else

wherefore live I in a Christian land, but to appraise for my

neighbour as for myself? To take a mean advantage never was,

thank heaven! and at these years never shall be, imputed to

Ybagnez of Segovia. Let us look a little at those articles! You

are the seller; I am the buyer! We have only to agree upon an

equitable price. Here they are, said the bully, pulling them out:

now own the truth, was there ever anything more magnificent? You

do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming! You cannot

say too much of it, answered the salesman, examining the suit

with the prying eye of a dealer, it is of the very first quality.

And what think you of the pearls upon this crown? resumed my

friend. A little rounder, observed Ybagnez, and there would be no

setting a price upon them! however, take them as they are, it is

a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about trifles.

Now your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would

affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them

cheaper; one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer

twenty pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an

upright, downright man! I will give forty at a word; take them or

leave them!

Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have burned

his fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two hundred

anywhere. The bully, who went snacks, then said — Now only look!

what a mercy it is, to fall into the hands of a man not of this

world. Signor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in comparison of

his principles and his soul. He may die to-night, and yet not be

taken unprepared! That is too much! You make me blush, said the

salesman of principle and soul; but so far is true, that my price

is always fixed. Well, now, is it a bargain? The money down upon

the nail too! Stop a moment! answered the bully; my little friend

must first try on the clothes you have brought for him by my

order: I am very much mistaken if they will not just fit him. The

salesman then, untying his bundle, shewed me a second-hand suit

of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up, and got into it; too

big for me every way! but these gentlemen could have sworn it had

been made to my measure. Ybagnez put it at ten pistoles; and as

he was an upright, downright man, of fixed principle and soul,

estimating money as dross in comparison of integrity, his first

price was of course his last. He therefore took out his purse,

and counted down thirty pistoles upon a table; after which he

packed up the King of Leon’s regalia, and went his way.

When he was gone, the bully said — I am very well satisfied with

that broker. And so he well might be; for I am certain he must

have received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money. But

there was no reason why the broker’s benevolence should pay the

debts of my gratitude: so he took half the money on the table,

without saying with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me

to pocket the remainder, with the following advice: My dear

Scipio, with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you

get out of this town as fast as you can; for you may suppose that

my lord archbishop will ferret you out if you are above-ground.

It would grieve me to the heart if, after having risen so

superior to the prejudice of honesty, you had the weakness to

fall foul of what alone keeps it afloat, the house of correction.

I answered that it was my fixed purpose to make myself scarce at

Seville, and accordingly, after buying a hat and some shirts, I

travelled through vineyards and olive groves to the ancient city

of Carmona; and in three days afterwards arrived at Cordova.

I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving myself out

for the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling for his

pleasure. My appearance did not belie the story, and a few