Stalky & Co. by Rudyard Kipling (sad books to read txt) 📕

At the end of a few days, it dawned on Prout that he moved in an atmosphere of perpetual ambush. Mysteries hedged him on all sides, warnings ran before his heavy feet, and countersigns were muttered behind his attentive back. McTurk and Stalky invented many absurd and idle phrases—catch-words that swept through the house as fire through stubble. It was a rare jest, and the only practical outcome of the Usury Commission, that one boy should say to a friend, with awful gravity, “Do you think there’s much of it going on in the house?” The other would reply, “Well, one can’t be too careful, you know.” The effect on a housemaster of humane conscience and good intent may be imagined. Again, a man who has sincerely devoted himself to gaining the esteem of his charges does not like to hear himself described, even at a distance, as “Popularity Prout” by a dark and scowling Celt with a fluent tongue. A rumor that stories—unusual stories—are told in the form-rooms, between the lights, by a boy who does not command his confidence, agitates such a man; and even elaborate and tender politeness—for the courtesy wise-grown men offer to a bewildered child was the courtesy that Stalky wrapped round Prout—restores not his peace of mind.

“The tone of the house seems changed—changed for the worse,” said Prout to Harrison and Craye. “Have you noticed it?. I don’t for an instant impute—”

He never imputed anything; but, on the other hand, he never did anything else, and, with the best intentions in the world, he had reduced the house-prefects to a state as nearly bordering on nervous irritation as healthy boys can know. Worst of all, they began at times to wonder whether Stalky & Co. had not some truth in their often-repeated assertions that Prout was a gloomy ass.

“As you know, I am not the kind of man who puts himself out for every little thing he hears. I believe in letting the house work out their own salvation—with a light guiding hand on the reins, of course. But there is a perceptible lack of reverence–a lower tone in matters that touch the honor of the house, a sort of hardness.”

Oh, Prout he is a nobleman, a nobleman, a nobleman! Our Heffy is a nobleman— He does an awful lot, Because his popularity Oh, pop-u-pop-u-larity— His giddy popularity Would suffer did he not!

The study door stood ajar; and the song, borne by twenty clear voices, came faint from a form-room. The fags rather liked the tune; the words were Beetle’s.

“That’s a thing no sensible man objects to,” said Prout with a lop-sided smile; “but you know straws show which way the wind blows. Can you trace it to any direct influence? I am speaking to you now as heads of the house.”

“There isn’t the least doubt of it,” said Harrison angrily. “I know what you mean, sir. It all began when Number Five study came to the form-rooms. There’s no use blinkin’ it, Craye. You know that, too.”

“They make things rather difficult for us, sometimes,” said Craye. “It’s more their manner than anything else, that Harrison means.”

“Do they hamper you in the discharge of your duties, then?”

“Well, no, sir. They only look on and grin—and turn up their noses generally.”

“Ah,” said Prout sympathetically.

“I think, sir,” said Craye, plunging into the business boldly, “it would be a great deal better if they wore sent back to their study—better for the house. They are rather old to be knocking about the form-rooms.”

“They are younger than Orrin, or Flint, and a dozen others that I can think of.”

“Yes, sir; but that’s different, somehow. They’re rather influential. They have a knack of upsettin’ things in a quiet way that one can’t take hold of. At least, if one does—”

“And you think they would be better in their own study again?”

Emphatically Harrison and Craye were of that opinion. As Harrison said to Craye, afterwards, “They’ve weakened our authority. They’re too big to lick; they’ve made an exhibition of us over this usury business, and we’re a laughing-stock to the rest of the school. I’m going up (for Sandhurst, understood) next term. They’ve managed to knock me out of half my work already with their—their lunacy. If they go back to their study we may have a little peace.”

“Hullo, Harrison.” McTurk ambled round the corner, with a roving eye on all possible horizons. “Bearin’ up, old man? That’s right. Live it down! Live it down!”

“What d’you mean?”

“You look a little pensive,” said McTurk. “Exhaustin’ job superintendin’ the honor of the house, ain’t it? By the way, how are you off for mares’-nests?”

“Look here,” said Harrison, hoping for instant reward. “We’ve recommended Prout to let you go back to your study.”

“The dooce you have! And who under the sun are you to interfere between us and our housemaster?. Upon my Sam, you two try us very hard—you do, indeed. Of course we don’t know how far you abuse your position to prejudice us with Mr. Prout; but when you deliberately stop me to tell me you’ve been makin’ arrangements behind our back—in secret—with Prout—I—I don’t know really what we ought to do.”

“That’s beastly unfair! “cried Craye.

“It is.” McTurk had adopted a ghastly solemnity that sat well on his long, lean face. “Hang it all! A prefect’s one thing and an usher’s another; but you seem to combine ‘em. You recommend this—you recommend that! You say how and when we go back to our study!”

“But—but—we thought you’d like it, Turkey. We did, indeed. You know you’ll be ever so much more comfortable there.” Harrison’s voice was almost tearful.

McTurk turned away as though to hide his emotions.

“They’re broke!” He hunted up Stalky and Beetle in a box-room. “They’re sick! They’ve been beggin’ Heffy to let us go back to Number Five. Poor devils! Poor little devils!”

“It’s the olive branch,” was Stalky’s comment. “It’s the giddy white flag, by gum! Come to think of it, we have metagrobolized ‘em.”

Just after tea that day, Mr. Prout sent for them to say that if they chose to ruin their future by neglecting their work, it was entirely their own affair. He wished them, however, to understand that their presence in the form-rooms could not be tolerated one hour longer. He personally did not care to think of the time he must spend in eliminating the traces of their evil influences. How far Beetle had pandered to the baser side of youthful imagination he would ascertain later; and Beetle might be sure that if Mr. Prout came across any soul-corrupting consequences—

“Consequences of what, sir?” said Beetle, genuinely bewildered this time; and McTurk quietly kicked him on the ankle for being “fetched” by Prout. Beetle, the housemaster continued, knew very well what was intended. Evil and brief had been their careers under his eye; and as one standing inloco_parentis_ to their yet uncontaminated associates, he was bound to take his precautions. The return of the study key closed the sermon.

“But what was the baser-side-of-imagination business?” said Beetle on the stairs.

“I never knew such an ass as you are for justifyin’ yourself,” said McTurk. “I hope I jolly well skinned your ankle. Why do you let yourself be drawn by everybody?”

“Draws be blowed! I must have tickled him up in some way I didn’t know about. If I’d had a notion of that before, of course I could have rubbed it in better. It’s too late now. What a pity! ‘Baser side.’ What was he drivin’ at?”

“Never mind,” said Stalky. “I knew we could make it a happy little house. I said so, remember—but I swear I didn’t think we’d do it so soon.”

“No,” said Prout most firmly in Common-room. “I maintain that Gillett is wrong. True, I let them return to their study.”

“With your known views on cribbing, too?” purred little Hartopp. “What an immoral compromise!”

“One moment,” said the Reverend John. “I—we—all of us have exercised an absolutely heart-breaking discretion for the last ten days. Now we want to know. Confess—have you known a happy minute since—”

“As regards my house, I have not,” said Prout. “But you are entirely wrong in your estimate of those boys. In justice to the others—in self-defence—”

“Ha! I said it would come to that,” murmured the Reverend John.

“—I was forced to send them back. Their moral influence was unspeakable—simply unspeakable.”

And bit by bit he told his tale, beginning with Beetle’s usury, and ending with the house-prefects’ appeal.

“Beetle in the ro’le of Shylock is new to me,” said King, with twitching lips. “I heard rumors of it—”

“Before?” said Prout.

“No, after you had dealt with them; but I was careful not to inquire. I never interfere with—”

“I myself,” said Hartopp, “would cheerfully give him five shillings if he could work out one simple sum in compound interest without three gross errors.”

“Why—why—why!” Mason, the mathematical master, stuttered, a fierce joy on his face, “you’ve been had—precisely the same as me!”

“And so you held an inquiry?” Little Hartopp’s voice drowned Mason’s ere Prout caught the import of the sentence.

“The boy himself hinted at the existence of a deal of it in the house,” said Prout.

“He is past master in that line,” said the chaplain. “But, as regards the honor of the house—”

“They lowered it in a week. I have striven to build it up for years. My own house-prefects—and boys do not willingly complain of each other—besought me to get rid of them. You say you have their confidence, Gillett: they may tell you another tale. As far as I am concerned, they may go to the devil in their own way. I’m sick and tired of them,” said Prout bitterly.

But it was the Reverend John, with a smiling countenance, who went to the devil just after Number Five had cleared away a very pleasant little brew (it cost them two and fourpence) and was settling down to prep.

“Come in, Padre, come in,” said Stalky, thrusting forward the best chair. “We’ve only met you official-like these last ten days.”

“You were under sentence,” said the Reverend John. “I do not consort with malefactors.”

“Ah, but we’re restored again,” said McTurk. “Mr. Prout has relented.”

“Without a stain on our characters,” said Beetle. “It was a painful episode, Padre, most painful.”

“Now, consider for a while, and perpend, mesenfants_. It is about your characters that I’ve called to-night. In the language of the schools, what the dooce have you been up to in Mr. Prout’s house? It isn’t anything to laugh over. He says that you so lowered the tone of the house he had to pack you back to your studies. Is that true?”

“Every word of it, Padre.”

“Don’t be flippant, Turkey. Listen to me. I’ve told you very often that no boys in the school have a greater influence for good or evil than you have. You know I don’t talk about ethics and moral codes, because I don’t believe that the young of the human animal realizes what they mean for some years to come. All the same, I don’t want to think you’ve been perverting the juniors. Don’t interrupt, Beetle. Listen to me. Mr. Prout has a notion that you have been corrupting your associates somehow or other.”

“Mr. Prout has so many notions, Padre,” said Beetle wearily. “Which one is this?”

“Well, he tells me that he heard you telling a story in the twilight in the form-room, in a whisper. And Orrin said, just as he