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To Beg For

Help.

 

We Heard The Inspector Call Us By Name, But We Determined To Save Every

Wounded Man In The Room If Possible, And Therefore Returned Him No

Answer.

 

Carefully, But Quickly, We Lifted One Of The Sufferers From The Floor,

And Conveyed Him To The Nearest Window, Where A Dozen Willing Hands Were

Stretched Out To Receive Him; But Before We Could Remove A Second, The

Flames Burst Through At The Extremity Of The Room, Near The Bar, And The

Planks Of The Floor Seemed To Blister Our Feet, They Were So Heated By

The Fire Raging In The Cellar.

 

 

 

Volume 2 Chapter 58 (Our Teamster Barney, And His Wife) Pg 91

The Burly Form And Red Face Of Our Partner Was Never More Welcome, For

Our Stock Of Goods Was Run Low, And Our Good Credit Required That We

Should Have An Assortment On Hand Second To None In The Town. We Had

Already A Reputation With The Miners For Keeping Articles Of The Best

Quality, And Our Prices Seemed To Give Better Satisfaction Than The

Rates Of Any Other Storekeepers.

 

We Grasped Our Diligent Partner By His Huge, Hard Hand, And Welcomed Him

To Our Home, And Asked A Dozen Questions In A Minute, Regarding The

State Of The Markets In Melbourne--Whether He Had Got A Package Of

Letters For Us--How Many Newspapers He Had With Him--Whether The Roads

Were Safe--And A Dozen Other Matters Were Touched On, That Required All

Of Smith's Patience And Lungs To Attend To.

 

"Just You Hold On A Minute," He Said, "Until I Can Get My Cattle

Unyoked, And Then I Will Attend To You And Your Questions."

 

We Did Not Wait For Him To Carry His Request Into Effect, For We Lent

Him A Helping Hand With The Cattle, Although, To Tell The Truth, The

Animals Did Not Seem In The Least Grateful For The Assistance, And

Attempted, With Their Long Horns, To Transfix Certain Portions Of Our

Anatomy That We Were Not Disposed To Have Injured. At Length, However,

The Animals Were Turned Loose, And Then Smith Was At Liberty To Reply To

Our Interrogations.

 

"In The First Place, I've Got A Dozen Or Twenty Letters, And About The

Same Number Of Newspapers From The States. I'll Tell You How I Fixed

It."

 

"But The Papers?" We Cried.

 

"I'm Coming To 'Em As Fast As I Can. Just As I Got Into Melbourne, A Big

American Ship Dropped Anchor, And On Board I Went. I Got Hold Of The

Captain, Told Him The News, And Then Boned Him For Papers. I Informed

Him That I Wanted Them For Countrymen Of His, And He Gave Me All That He

Had, And Here They Are."

 

Smith Pulled The Precious Documents From His Knapsack, And In A Few

Minutes We Were Absorbed In Devouring The Contents Of Letters, And

Boston And New York Newspapers.

 

We Never Knew The Name Of The Captain Who Responded So Promptly To

Smith's Appeal, But Wherever His Fortune May Lead Him, May He Have Fair

Winds, And High Freights, And Never Lose A Spar.

 

No One Can Understand The Joy With Which A Letter Is Received From Home,

Unless He Has Travelled In Foreign Lands, And Been Without Advices From

Friends For Many Months. The Letters Were The First That We Had Received

While In Australia, And We Prized Them More On That Account, Perhaps,

Than If We Had Been In Constant Communication With The States.

 

We Had Written From California, Announcing Our Departure, And Directing

That All Letters Should Be Sent To Melbourne Until Further Notice, And

The Warm Expressions Which Our Epistles Contained Showed That Our

Friends Had Not Forgotten Us.

Volume 2 Chapter 58 (Our Teamster Barney, And His Wife) Pg 92

 

Smith, Who Seemed As Fresh As The Day That He Started From Melbourne,

Left Us To Our Letter-Feast, And Prepared Supper With That Dexterity

Which Had Distinguished Him Many Times; And Even When We Had Put Our

Papers Under Lock And Key--So Greedy Were We, And Fearful That Some

Acquaintance Would Step In, And Desire To Borrow A Journal Before We Had

Gleaned The News--Waved Us Back, And Expressed Himself Competent To

Perform His Allotted Task Without Interference.

 

"You Talk About Home And The News Until After Supper, And Leave Me

Alone, 'Cos After We Light Our Pipes We Shall Have Business Matters To

Look Over, And Figure Up, Unless The Woman And Her Husband Gets Along,

And Then We Shall See Fun."

 

"What Woman Do You Mean?" I Asked.

 

"Why, Didn't I Tell You That Barney Was Married?" Demanded Smith.

 

"Of Course You Did, And Said That He Was About Five Miles From Town, And

Would Be Here In Two Or Three Hours' Time."

 

"Well, Barney Has His Wife With Him, And A Pretty Life She Is Leading

Him. I Listened To Her Scoldings And Complaints Until I Couldn't Stand

Any More, And Then I Whipped Up My Cattle And Got Out Of The Sound Of

Her Tongue, And By Good Management I Have Avoided Her For Two Days. She

Is Good Looking, But Has Got The Spirit Of The Devil In Her

Composition."

 

We Recollected That Murden, In His Letter, Alluded To The Lady, And

Although We Were Not Impatient To See Her, We Know That She Would Have

Some Claims Upon Our Hospitality For Her Husband's Sake, And To Prevent

Her From Breaking Out Into Open Mutiny, We Made Some Few Preparations To

Receive The Lady With Becoming Honors. We Got Out A Small Tent That We

Owned, And Had Made On The Passage From San Francisco To Australia, And

Pitched It Near The Store For The Express Accommodation Of The Bride And

Groom, And Then Stocked It With A Mattress And Blankets, And Thought The

Lady Would Be Delighted At Our Delicate Attentions. We Even Kept Back

Supper An Hour, And Added A Number Of Little Luxuries, On Purpose To

Give Her An Agreeable Surprise, And Show That We Were Still Susceptible

Of Woman's Influence And Beauty.

 

At About Seven O'clock We Heard The Rumbling Of Wheels, And The Loud,

Quick Crack Of A Stockman's Whip. Smith Glanced Anxiously Towards The

Supper, And Was Visibly Agitated, As Though He Expected To Receive

Disastrous News. Rover, Who Had Been Lying Near The Door, Waiting With

Remarkable Patience For His Supper, Uttered A Howl, And Retreated

Towards The Horses, As Though To Communicate Some Bad Intelligence.

 

"Why Don't You Stop The Team, If This Is The Place, You Confounded

Fool?" We Heard Some One Say.

 

"That's Her," Groaned Smith; "I Should Know That Voice If I Was Off The

Cape Of Good Hope, And I Almost Wish That I Was At Sea, Or On A Desert

Island."

Volume 2 Chapter 58 (Our Teamster Barney, And His Wife) Pg 93

 

We Hurried To The Door, To Receive Our Guest, And With Our Curiosity

Somewhat Excited To See The Woman Whom All Appeared To Dread.

 

To Our Extreme Surprise, We Saw A Female Not More Than Twenty Years Of

Age, Dressed In The Latest Style Of Melbourne Fashion, With A Frank,

Pleasing Face, Looking Fresh And Clean, Which Was So Extraordinary, In

That Part Of The World, That We Rather Exceeded Good Manners By The

Length Of Our Gaze.

 

We Little Knew, At The Time, That The Lady, For The Purpose Of Making A

Favorable Impression Upon Our Susceptible Hearts, Had Insisted Upon Her

Husband's Stopping His Team, A Few Miles From Ballarat, While She Made

Her Toilet, And To Do So, Had Used All The Water In The Water Kegs, To

The Great Distress Of The Oxen, Who Were Really Suffering For A Drink.

 

Yes, The Bride Was Really Handsome, And Would Be Called So In Any

Civilized Portion Of The World, Where Beauty Is Recognized By The

Standard Of Regular Features, Clear Skin, White Teeth, And A Perfect

Form. Her Eyes, Too, Were Large, Black, And Lustrous, And She Understood

The Use Of Them As Well As The Most Arrant Spanish Coquette That Ever

Lived.

 

I Advanced To The Team, And Extended My Hand For The Purpose Of

Assisting The Lady To Alight, For Her Husband Seemed Occupied With His

Cattle, And Unable To Afford Her Those Delicate Attentions Which A Wife

Sometimes Requires.

 

"Who, In The Devil's Name, Are You?" She Asked, In A Quick, Pert Manner,

As Though Determined To Astonish Us On The First Hour Of Her Arrival.

 

I Heard A Smothered Laugh In The Store, As Though Smith Was Endeavoring

To Prevent An Explosion, And Even Fred Had Hard Work To Retain His

Countenance.

 

"This Gentleman, Maria," Cried The Woman's Husband, Rushing To My

Rescue, "Is One Of My Employers, Whom I Spoke To You About."

 

"O, Is He?" She Asked, With A Strong Stare, First At Me And Then At

Fred. "Well, I Don't See Any Thing Remarkable About Him, And He Isn't

Half As Good Looking As The Fellow Standing In The Door."

 

The Compliment To Fred, At My Expense, Was Answered By Another

Suppressed Groan From Smith, While The Poor Husband Hardly Knew Whether

To Abuse His Better Half Or Coax Her.

 

"Don't Talk That Way To Strangers," The Poor Devil Pleaded, But His Good

Nature Was All Thrown Away.

 

"Go And Attend To The Cattle," She Ordered, "And Let Me Alone. I Haven't

Had A Moment's Peace Since I Married You, And I Almost Wish That I Had

Fallen To The Stout Miner Who Wanted Me So Much. He Was Something Like A

Man, And Was As Big As Two Of You."

 

Volume 2 Chapter 58 (Our Teamster Barney, And His Wife) Pg 94

"I Wish, With All My Heart, You Had," Muttered The Bridegroom, But He

Took Good Care Not To Let Her Hear Him.

 

"Well, Give Me Your Hand," The Wife Exclaimed, Addressing Me; "I

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